susan will mend your bones (bonafides) wrote in blackbirds, @ 2011-07-08 11:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | char: susan bones, char: theodore nott, era: trio, type: log, verse: this purgatory |
Theodore was glad that Susan didn’t look away from his gaze, realising that it didn’t seem as awkward as he would have thought. There was something more intimate about their gaze than the physical acts themselves. Not to mention, he found her facial expressions to be very telling and in their own way, exciting. Her difficulty in response might have alarmed him if he wasn’t already tuned into the fact that it wasn’t due to any sort of discomfort. He might not have had any idea of what he was doing, but he did know that something must be right with the way she reacted to his touches. There was no point, really, in fixing something that wasn’t broken, so he found it easier to get comfortable in a rhythm of stokes, than anything drastically creative, every once in a while adding in a shallow penetration with his forefinger. He liked the sounds he seemed capable of eliciting from her, which was quite the encouragement... making him wonder if it was possible to get her to make more of them.
Leaning forward, he kissed her briefly, though the grin on his face didn’t seem to go away. He felt genuinely pleased with himself that she seemed to be enjoying everything he did. He didn’t know how much she was actually paying attention to him, but he nonetheless pressed his mouth up against her ear, whispering little sweet nothings which turned out to mostly be her name, the fact he loved her, or about how beautiful she was. He was struck by his desire to keep her as close as possible, though snuggling her further seemed impossible if he was going to keep his hand where it was. Of course, the more noises she made, the more that desire seemed to be morphing into something else all together. His blood was burning hot and he felt like he was even more aware of the fact that they were naked than before.
He started pressing little kisses all over face, which started off gentle and light but progressively became frequent and aggressive, before claiming her lips with a hard crush of his own. Theodore pushed his hips up against her more firmly, trying not to be obvious in his attempt to gain friction for his newly forming erection. Theodore removed his hand from stroking her, so that he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her closer against him, as he attempted to snog her desperately.
It was becoming increasingly difficult for Susan to focus, and she finally broke away from Theodore’s gaze as her eyelids fluttered closed. The rhythm that he established seemed almost tortuously slow the longer it went on, but it had her forgetting about everything else - what she looked like and how exposed she was, what he might think of her, her anxiety about what they were doing - just to concentrate on the feelings themselves. Her skin felt warm all over, the hotness spreading through her centered on where his fingers were touching her. She was unaware of the fact that she had unconsciously begun rocking into his movements to increase the friction, and even more so of the soft noises that were now spilling from her lips unguarded. For once, she was letting herself be open and vulnerable without worrying about the consequences.
Kissing Theodore back sloppily, she let out a soft shiver at the feeling as his breath moved over her neck to whisper against her ear. She didn’t catch everything that he was saying, but still his words and the sound of him saying her name in an almost reverent way caused her to move her hips up faster. She was holding her breath now, reaching for something without really knowing what it was, another surge of heat coursing through her as he claimed her lips in a searing kiss. She moaned appreciatively into his mouth... which then turned into a whine of protest when he suddenly pulled his hand away and the feelings stopped abruptly, leaving her trembling and somewhat frustrated.
Susan pulled away from him briefly, about to say something that might have been “please” if he had allowed her to speak before kissing her again. She was distantly aware of his hardness pressing against her now, though her head was far too clouded to even register surprise at him wanting her again so quickly. Instead, she responded passionately to his kisses, pressing her body as close to him as possible, desperate to regain some contact.
Theodore knew what he wanted, and by the way she continued to press up against him, he thought she was likely thinking the same thing. He could feel the warmth of her pressed against almost every inch of his naked flesh and the thoughts in his head were a jumbled mess mostly resolving around one thing - he wanted her. It was a strange feeling, wanting something you’d never had as much as he did, but he was hardly in a position to evaluate the logistics of that. Instead he let his body press her further into the mattress as his kisses heated considerably, tongue clashing against hers in a desperate war.
Pulling away from her to breathe, he sucked in air as quickly as possible, before pressing his teeth against the lobe of her ear, pulling lightly at the thin skin there. The frantic movements from only a few seconds ago seemed to vanish, as his tongue popped out to caress her outer ear up and down in a slow motion. “Susan,” he said in a low, husky whisper. He suddenly felt very unsure of himself, despite (or perhaps, because of) knowing what he wanted from her. A shyness crept into his face and he kept his eyes averted from hers, focusing on the gentle kisses he was spreading across her face. When he reached her mouth again, he only chastely pressed his lips to her, savoring in the slower, gentler touches.
Swallowing hard, he lifted his gaze, feeling a bit scared, but feeling his heart pound harder at the dark look in her eyes. “I want---” he paused for a brief second, “I love you. I- want to. Make love to you.” He thought his heart might pound out of his chest now that he had said it.
More than anything, Susan wanted him to keep touching her, the continued kisses and the feeling of him against hers having ignited something in her that made it impossible to think normally. Breathing became secondary as he ravaged her mouth, and her body arched up into his even as he pressed down against her. She curled her arms around his neck to hold him close, even as the fevered pace of his kisses slowed down, the touch of his tongue to her ear making her whimper softly.
Breathing heavily, Susan opened her eyes to look at him, squirming a bit and smiling at the kisses that he pressed to her face. She didn’t know why she had been so anxious about getting naked when all he was doing was make her feel wanted and loved and really really good, the gentle kisses just as warming as the more intense ones from before.
She only vaguely caught on to Theodore’s hesitation, the reason quickly becoming clear. The realisation of what he wanted was oddly sobering, the cloud of lust slowly dissipating from her mind. “I-,” she started, her shyness returning even as her nerve ends continued to tingle with every brush against her skin. “Okay,” she said with a light blush, anxiety building once again in her lower stomach. She bit her lip before pulling him into another soft kiss, both to hide her nerves and to distract herself from the self-doubt that was already beginning to manifest. “I love you,” she said, nuzzling his cheek.
The dizzying in his head didn’t help the jittery feelings when she affirmed her agreement. If anything, it made the situation slightly more apprehensive, because he didn’t really know what he should do next. He was glad to have her mouth distracting him again though, so he didn’t have to think too hard. Theodore wasn’t too enthused when she pulled away from the kiss, but that was quickly forgotten by what she had to say. He smiled at her, kissing her again in a way that said the feeling was very much mutual. He was sure he felt even warmer than seconds before, feeling the tension that seemed to have risen between them. Trying to keep himself from getting too worked up or succumbing to the rise of apprehension, he continued to kiss on her face, killing his mind into a calmer state. There was a thrill of anticipation he couldn’t ignore though, especially when he shifted his body, feeling his penis come into contact with the wetness that coated the outside of her vagina.
His breathing became a little more shallow as the blood pounded harder in his head. The needs of his body roaring for attention. “I love you,” he mumbled again against the nape of her neck where his kisses had trailed. Theodore felt slightly awkward about reaching down between them to cup the length of his penis, feeling suddenly very self-conscious about his effort to guide himself inside of her. The feelings of anxiety and anticipation were somewhat overwhelming since the emotions were nearly contrary to each other. But his terror at the thought of hurting her forced him to keep his eyes locked on hers, searching for any signs that he should stop.
The nervous energy in the room was obvious, tensions running high, and Susan was less focused in responding to his kisses, more preoccupied with what was about to happen. She didn’t really know what to expect, other than the few comments she’d picked up on the subject over the years. It was supposed to hurt, she knew, and that didn’t exactly help to make her feel more at ease with the situation. The mumbled endearments and kisses did help some, reminding her that this was something that she wanted to share with him.
When she felt the pressure of him against her, she drew in a deep breath, trying to push down the nerves. Her hand curled around his shoulder in her need to connect to him emotionally, and be close. Even with ample lubrication, it still felt like a bit of a stretching burn to have him enter her, not painful as such but certainly uncomfortable. Susan bit her lip, trying to relax her muscles, which had been tensing up in anticipation of the pain. She didn’t know how it was even going to fit, and after a few moments she said, “I- Can you just... stay like that for a bit?” Her voice was slightly tense, and she felt awkward for asking, hoping that there wasn’t something wrong with her for feeling like this.
Theodore leaned into her when she wrapped her arm around him, brushing his lips against her cheek briefly in the process. His more anxious feelings had dissipated rapidly at the feeling of tight pressure wrapped all around him, which exceeded any expectations he had had. The explosion of pleasure in his brain was instantaneous, making it difficult to maintain an awareness toward Susan’s responses. He was still looking at her, though his eyes had clouded, becoming darker than they already were. After the initial shock, he sobered some, focusing on her voice when she spoke. He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, exactly, but he didn’t dare move except to breathe.
“Okay? Are you-?” he asked in a slightly breathless voice. He moved the hand that had been between them, placing it on her side, fingers stroking her skin in a feather light motion once, then twice, before stilling on the mattress beside her, clenching the sheet. There was a restlessness in his body, which wanted more than it was currently getting, which was made easier to ignore by his feelings of concern. Uncertainty began creeping in, and Theodore briefly wondered if he should pull himself off of her all together. He pressed his forehead up against hers, nuzzling her face gently, careful as he could not to shift a great deal.
Susan nodded, cheeks colouring. “Fine. Just-” She needed to get used to the feeling, the sensations and emotions that were coursing through her too overwhelming to process. It was incredibly intimate, and scary, and just the tiniest bit painful. Susan was finding it difficult to let go of the last barrier of all those that she had drawn up around herself over the years, allowing him to see her exactly as she was. Closing her eyes for a moment, she shifted just enough so she could kiss him, open-mouthed and wavering as she tried to adjust to having him inside of her.
When she felt a little bit more at ease, she pulled away from the kiss with a soft sigh, leaning her head back against the pillow. It still felt odd, but less uncomfortable now, the small twinge that she had felt before having dissipated to make way for a feeling of fullness, which made her chest tighten with a mixture of emotions. “Okay,” she breathed, her hand coming up to touch his face, fingers running over his jaw. “You can move now.”
Theodore was anxious. Even through she was kissing
him, it was hard to process how she was actually feeling. He was afraid she wouldn't enjoy it at all; the fear of which overrided his own sense of pleasure. When she laid back against the pillows he leaned forward, keeping his torso pressed against her. The feel of her hand on his face made him lean into the touch. Her permission made him forget some of his worries for the moment as the feelings running through his body overwhelmed his senses. He sucked in a sharp breath, panting slightly.
He kept his eyes locked on hers, well aware of the intimacy of the moment. He'd never been with anyone before and the fact that she now knew a side of him no one else did was both intimidating and something of a turn on. He closed his eyes briefly, letting the physical feelings rush over him. He didn't know what to do thinking about it, but letting his body take control seemed to work. He forced his eyes open again, watching for her reaction as he moved his hips. "I love you," he said, though the statement was almost whispered. It felt suddenly very important for him to say so now while they were sharing this.
It was difficult to breathe, her heart beating loudly with the intimacy of the moment. Susan hadn’t really known what to expect, and though she was less focused on the need that she had felt before, every place where their skin touched made her feel a different kind of heat, a closeness that they hadn’t had before. She took in the look in Theodore’s eyes, the expression on his face as he moved against her, almost in wonderment. Even knowing him as well as she did, he could be very closed off, but there was none of that now as she looked at him. She was quite possibly the only one to see him like this, much like he was the only one to see her like this. That no longer felt like something to be shy about, though.
“I love you,” she said, her chest tight as she held her breath. Reaching for him, she pulled him in for another kiss, the angle somewhat awkward, but she wanted to be as close to him as she could, wanted to cling to this while she still could. They could only escape from the world for so long.