theodore is nott here to comfort you (cleverloner) wrote in blackbirds, @ 2011-07-03 19:06:00 |
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Susan held on tightly to her father as they Apparated into the garden of their family home, just beside the apple tree that stood proudly as ever. It was difficult to process what was even happening. The battle was still raging around her, memories of curses, and corpses, and desperately trying to help the injured. She would still be there now, trying to help in any way that she could, if her father hadn’t arrived to drag her from the scene. He’d sounded upset and worried, and Susan had only been able to understand half of what he was saying through the exhaustion and all the emotions that were coursing through her body.
“Come on, almost there,” her father said, one arm wrapped tightly around her middle to support her as they made their way up the steps to the front door. It opened before Frederick could even raise his hand, and then her mother’s arms were closing around the both of them, her relieved chattering sounding impossibly loud to Susan’s ears as Evelyn guided the two of them into the house.
“Mum,” she tried, her crushing embrace making it difficult to breathe. “I’m fine... please...” Evelyn’s arms disappeared after another kiss to her forehead, and she was fussing over her husband now. Under any other circumstances Susan would have been concerned by her mother’s distraught tone of voice, but she could only focus on staying upright, wiping a bloody hand over her face to get rid of a stray lock of hair in a distracted move. Bed. She wanted her bed.
Theodore had hung back, standing just in the open doorway that led into the entry way, watching as Evelyn embraced her family. It felt surreal, standing there, watching the scene unfold before him. The last 32 hours he’d spent in the Bones family kitchen had been harrowing and at times, he’d thought more than a week had passed. He was exhausted and haggard looking, having only dozed off in small cat naps every once in awhile. It was hard to sort out anything he was feeling, but the fact that Susan was, that she was alive, breathing... there... felt almost overwhelming.
Everything was over. He didn’t know what to say, despite having waited for this - hoping for this - for over a day. Susan hadn’t even seemed to notice his presence and he for a moment he was glad for that. She looked even more exhausted than he felt, dirt, grim, and blood caked on her. He couldn’t even fathom what had happened after he’d left, but from the looks of it, most of what he’d feared had occurred. He worried for a moment about the blood, but reasoned it must not be hers if she was here, rather than in the hospital. Finally, Theodore pushed himself forward, still at loss for words. He merely stumbled forward, reaching out for her. The contact of her skin to his palm sent a jolt through him. She was real. Instantly, his arms folded around her as he pulled her to his chest, pressing his mouth to her forehead in a trembling kiss.
She smelled awful. The dirt of her clothes and skin was rough against his, but he found himself entirely unbothered. It was a wonder he was even holding her at all. And despite her solid form, he briefly wondered if it was a cruel, realistic dream. He didn’t know how she’d survived the horrors battle had brought. And maybe he didn’t need to understand right now. He just needed to hold on tight.
The possibility of him being there hadn’t even occurred to Susan, and it wasn’t until he touched her that she noticed someone else was even in the room. She looked up through blurry eyes, confused, but then his arms were closing around her as he pulled her to him. Her body had caught up before her mind did, shoulders relaxing minutely as she stumbled against him. It was so very familiar, the feeling of being held, a comforting smell of something that reminded her vaguely of old books... as the thought drifted through to her conscious mind, she started slightly, her arms immediately curling around him. Theodore. She drew in a shaky breath, not quite believing yet that he was really there but clinging on tightly regardless.
“Theodore.” She mumbled his name as she leaned against him, the sound muffled by the fabric of his robes. Susan hadn’t thought that she would see him again, the last words that they had exchanged before the battle still cutting deeply, but yet he was here now, holding her, and it was all just too much. Her knees were trembling, unable to hold up the weight of her body any longer, and she let out a choked sob. They had won, and Ernie was dead, and she’d killed someone, and she hoped please to god that it was all over now, because she couldn’t fight anymore. Her hands curled into fists, gripping onto the fabric of Theodore’s robes as if that alone would be able to keep him there, keep him from ever letting go.
Theodore was struck by the rapid series of actions that seemed to take place in a matter of seconds. From her fall against him, to the mumbling of his name, to her shaking frame, and the way she clung to him. All of it made him feel as though he were holding on to a broken doll. She didn’t seem capable of standing on her own and he didn’t want to drag her around. Theodore bent forward, tucking one arm beneath her knees, lifting her up fully into his arms. He held her against his chest, surprised at how light she felt in his arms. He still didn’t know what to say to her, if anything at all. During his hours at the kitchen table, their last moments together in the Great Hall had replayed in his mind over and over. The feelings of justification, of knowing he’d been right, had been quickly replaced by a sickness in his stomach, hoping it wasn’t truly the last moment he’d have with her. Right or wrong didn’t matter anymore, only the plaguing guilt that he hadn’t even been able to tell her he loved her for a last time.
He turned to carry her up the steps of her house, feet traveling a somewhat familiar route to her bedroom. It was tricky opening the door while holding her, but he managed. Theodore gently laid her down on the bed, taking a moment to remove her shoes, before crawling up next to her on the mattress and pulling her against him once more. He pressed his mouth to hers in a gentle kiss, not caring that her mouth felt rough and split under his lips. The fact that he was even able to kiss her again at all was enough for him and for the moment he didn’t want to do anything but get lost in the feeling of her. She was here and alive, and nothing outside of that mattered in that moment.
Susan was surprised to find herself being lifted up, the move feeling dizzying and not completely without pain as her sore muscles protested. She quickly looped her arms around his neck, not sure if it was out of fear of being dropped or a refusal to stop holding him in any way possible. She was vaguely aware of her father raising his voice, and her mother’s soothing tones that followed, but she was beyond trying to figure out what was going on. Resting her head against Theodore’s shoulder, she allowed him to carry her, body still shivering lightly as the adrenaline began to wear off.
So soft. It was the first thought that hit her when he gently lowered her onto the bed, the pillow under her head feeling like possibly the best thing she had ever felt. “Theodore,” she said again, hands reaching for him, and then he was lying down next to her, his arms around her again, and it was all okay because he was here and she wasn’t ever going to allow him to leave. Her lips trembled along with the rest of her body, drinking in the kiss until a sharp twinge in her lower lip caused her to pull back with a soft hiss. It was as if the pain reminded her, brought her conscious mind back from where it had slowly been drifting off towards oblivion, and Susan leaned back briefly to reach into her robes.
When she rested against him again, she clumsily pressed his wand into his hands. “Sorry about the blood,” she managed, finding herself unable to look at him as she rested the side of her face against the pillow. Thoughts of blood brought her back to how it had gotten there, and she swallowed against the bile that rose in her throat, clenching her eyes shut as if that would force the memories out.
Confronted by the reality of her bruised and broken body, Theodore continued to hold her but his grip on her loosened considerably in the fear that her lips may not have been the only thing he’d hurt. It was difficult to keep his desire to smother her with cuddling and kisses to a minimum but those things were replaced with a worry and concern that started to consume his mind. He did not know the extent of her injuries. Her presence at home had initially made him feel as though she’d escaped with relatively little damage, but he knew very well that her trait for self-disregard was high (it was the reason they’d quarrelled, after all) and Theodore was becoming intensely suspicious about whether or not she’d revealed to her father any injuries she’d suffered.
When she pushed his wand back at him, he was wholly unconcerned for the reason of blood, as it seemed natural to him given the circumstances through which she’d used it. He pulled away from her embrace, even against her protest, moving to a sitting position, and staring down at her with an intense gaze. Her disheveled appearance had been obvious from the moment she’d walked into the door, but now Theodore was looking for other signs of physical trauma. The dirt and blood on her flesh was thick, making him determine that a bath was very likely necessary in order to decide what was superficial and what was not. Pressing the tip of his wand against her mouth he said, “Episkey”, watching as the cut on her bottom lip mended itself. Theodore’s knowledge of healing spells was limited to only a small handful of simplistic ones like that, and wished for all the world that he was at home, where access to his father’s (vast) medical library was unrestricted.
Setting his wand to the side, he moved to lay down next to Susan again, although this time he only leaned in to kiss her cheek chastely before placing a hand on her stomach, pulling gently at the tattered end of her pajama shirt. “You need a bath,” he said, deciding a ruse (even if true) was a better approach than directly expressing his desire to look over her for any injuries she might have been stubbornly holding out on.
Susan was very much unaware of Theodore’s suspicions, her injuries being the last of her worries. Her head was still swimming with all that she’d been through, too many feelings that she was incapable of dealing right now, but now she had finally started thinking about it all, she found it impossible to stop. The one thing to hold onto was that she was home, and safe, and that apparently Theodore didn’t completely hate her because he was here. Against all the chaos of the battle, it seemed almost too good to be true, so when he pulled away from her she made a rather pathetic sound in the back of her throat. “Don’t go.” Her voice was rough, held a hint of panic, and her hand reached for his arm, gripping onto it.
She relaxed a bit when he failed to get up from the bed as she had feared, shying away from his gaze. Vaguely she was aware that she couldn’t exactly make the best picture right now, blood caked to her hair, her clothing ripped and torn where she had fell or where spells had singed her. She’d dealt with the most pressing injuries herself just so she could continue helping others, but had made use of their (already limited) supplies sparingly, only bandaging the worst of her wounds and applying some salve to the burns she had suffered. It was all that she had needed to carry on, knowing that there were many others who were worse off.
Susan licked her lip experimentally once Theodore had mended it, immediately curling against him when he laid back down beside her. “Don’t want a bath,” she told him, moving her hand down to keep her shirt in place. That wasn’t a lie, for the most part. She was aware that she needed to bathe eventually, but right now she just wanted to stay here and rest, for as good or as bad as she could. Susan pressed her lips to his, marvelling at being able to kiss him now without pain, though she barely had the energy to do more than slowly move her lips against his. Even before the battle, it had been a while since she had been able to do so, and for several long hours at the dungeons she had been certain that she never would again. “I love you,” she said quietly, almost holding her breath. The last time she had said so, his reaction hadn’t exactly been positive.
Although he’d been expecting her to not want him to get up, the extent of her reaction was surprising. Her clinging vulnerability was almost overwhelming, and by the time she’d kissed him again, Theodore felt his stomach twist, wishing there was something he could do to make everything better for her. He smiled at her statement, moving his hand up to stroke her cheek as he looked into her eyes. Theodore was glad to hear it after the way they had parted, which had been anything but loving. He still had a host of concerns stemming from the things they’d talked about, but this wasn’t the time to bring up those issues, so he pushed them to the back of his head and just learned forward to kiss her again. When he pulled back he replied, “I love you too. Very much.” But he hadn’t forgotten his mission, even if he’d let her sidetrack him momentarily. Theodore pulled away from her face, one hand coming up to rest on his stomach again.
“You can’t sleep in this,” he said, deciding not to fight her opposition to a bath. Even without an ulterior motive, her garments were disgusting to the point of being repulsive. He hadn’t cared when he’d first embraced her, but sleeping with it was an entirely different thing all together. “Let me take care of you,” he added, squeezing her hand. And really, she deserved some of that after everything she’d gone through. He couldn’t pretend like he was capable of making things okay, but he could at least try to care for her as best as possible. He pointed his wand at her closet momentarily, but not knowing what she had, left him with no idea what to summon. Instead he just unbuttoned his own long collared shirt and set it off to the side before moving to pull her shirt over her head. He cringed a bit at her wince but otherwise discarded the nasty top to the corner of the room.
Theodore could tell immediately that the grime and blood hadn’t been stopped by the flimsy material - or the bruises and scars. Dangling his feet off the bed, he sat next to her, reaching forward to pull the night stand closer to him. With some concentration, he transfigured her candle stick into a small bowl, filling it with water. Pulling a sock off his foot, he transfigured that into a sponge. Dipping the sponge into the water, he then pressed it gently on her stomach, wiping as softly as he could at the grimy spots. He’d noticed already that she had a nasty gash down her side and it didn’t take long for him to start sponge bathing that spot.The lines in his face deepened with worry when he noticed it looked angry and the drips of what appeared to be black blood bubbling every once in awhile. “Susan,” he said looking up at her. “What did you get hit with?” The fact that it could have been any number of things, and she probably didn’t know, had already crossed his mind, but he couldn’t keep the worried question from tumbling out of his mouth anyway.
Some of the tension left her body when Theodore smiled at her, managing a soft smile of her own when he leaned in to kiss her again. Her lips lingered briefly even as he pulled back from her. She’d been so scared of losing him, even before she had made the decision to stay, and she didn’t know just how much she had needed to hear him say that he still loved her until right then. Susan wiped at her eyes, which had gone slightly damp, and breathed deeply, ignoring the pain that came with it as her chest lifted with the effort. Even with all that had happened, she still had him. It meant more than she could even try to articulate. With Ernie’s loss fresh on her mind, it was hard to know if it would be enough, but she’d fought for him as much as she had fought for herself, her friends, her family. Maybe more so, since she knew he never would.
Susan found herself incapable of turning away his offer. For years she had been taking care of everyone around her, had been knees deep in injured people barely an hour ago, and now she could finally allow herself to let herself be cared for, for a change. “Okay,” she said, tiredly. She closed her eyes briefly, wondering if she would be able to get any sleep at all, and then lifted her arms at Theodore’s prompting. Everything hurt, both inside and out, and she laid back against the mattress as soon as she was able.
She might have been amused if she’d been aware enough to take notice of Theodore’s show of transfiguration, but instead she just hissed in surprise when the wet sponge touched her skin. The bandages that she had put on were practically stuck to her flesh by now, blood having seeped through, and Susan bit her lip while he removed them, keeping her body perfectly still. The wound on her side hurt more than she remembered. Trying not to let it show, she evaded Theodore’s eyes. “Don’t know,” she mumbled. “Some slice- ow!” The cut was deep, and seemed to reverberate every touch to the skin surrounding it. “I’m fine,” Susan said quickly, before continuing her sentence. “Slicing hex. I didn’t hear, trying to help Padma...” Her eyes filled up again as flashes from the fight jumped back into the forefront of her mind. She wasn’t ready to tell Theodore what had happened, what she’d done. “I’m fine,” she repeated, her voice tight. It was the phrase that she had held onto all this time, and she wasn’t sure what would happen if she let go.
Theodore frowned deeply, though not at all convinced by Susan’s feeble pleading that she was fine. His eyes and ears told him differently, and so did his knowledge of her tendency to downplay the things she might be going through. The wound did not look fine to him in any sense of the word. In fact, he was positive just from looking at it that it was likely to be laced with dark magic. Maybe it wasn’t much to Susan, but he had more experience with the dark arts than he cared to admit, and he knew that some of those curses could have devastating effects if not treated immediately. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her now, after he’d already gone through the fear of it happening, all because she wasn’t willing to go to the hospital. Setting the sponge and water bowl aside, he reached for his wand once more.
“Tergeo,” he said, watching as some of the blood and dirt vanished from the wound area. The black oozing substance didn’t seem affected by the spell though, which only furthered his concerns, confirming what he’d suspected about its nature. He drew in a sharp breath, looking up to shake his head at Susan, worry evident in his face. “You’re not fine,” he said flatly, in no way intending to argue with her over that point. “Stop telling yourself that. You just emerged from a war. You’re obviously injured, physically.” He paused for a moment. “And probably emotionally as well. I know you are not fine. You know you’re not fine.” And maybe it was cruel, being so forceful about ending her fairytale, but Theodore didn’t care. He wasn’t going to pretend this was something it wasn’t. And he certainly wasn’t going to let her do so either - in his mind, that would be more harmful in the long term, than the short-term benefits were worth. Facing things as they were was the only way to move forward.
He knew she wouldn’t like his next suggestion, but he didn’t see any other way. “We’re going to Mungo’s, Susan. You have to get this looked at, properly.” The dirty dressing he’d peeled off was laying next to her, and he shook his head at it. Theodore wished for all he was worth that Susan would quit with the righteous crap already. Other people had been hurt, and maybe they were worse off, but that was no reason at all for her to ignore her own injuries. Not when she had obviously been on the wrong end of a lasting dark hex. He would forcefully carry her there if he had to, though hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Biting his lip, he reached out to grab her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
It was obvious that Theodore didn’t believe her just by the way he continued to lavish attention onto the wound. Susan had realised that he knew her too well in order for her lie to succeed in the first place, but it had been an act of desperation, a pleading to let her be. She was incapable of dealing with anything else tonight. Yet he was refusing to let go of the subject, in the same manner that he had shown before, in the Great Hall. “Please don’t,” Susan whispered, her chest tightening with suppressed emotions that were threatening to break free. She moved one arm to rest over her face as if she could physically force back her tears, but her throat was already hurting with the effort, and once she started it was as if the floodgates had been opened.
She wasn’t fine. She was very much not fine, hurting both inside and out, and all she wanted to do was lie here and wait for it to stop. Her breath came out in short gasps as tears moved down her cheeks, a desperate effort to keep the pain to a minimum as her chest heaved with every sob. She’d been tortured, taunted and cursed, burned, flung into a wall, narrowly escaped several Killing Curses, and yet she was here. What right did she have to be such a mess when Padma was barely alive, when there were so many who had fallen, some as good as at her hands, and when Ernie would never breathe again. She needed to be okay for them, and for her parents, and Theodore.
Her grip on Theodore’s hand had become almost painful, and Susan gulped in a breath. “Please don’t make me go,” she said, her eyes still forced shut to block out the rest of the world. “I can’t- I’ve seen- too much blood already.” It wasn’t even about the hospital being overfull with patients already, which she knew to be true simply from the injuries that she had encountered while still at Hogwarts, but she couldn’t handle seeing any more death and despair. Not now.
He knew she didn’t want to go. And he knew she was going to fight him every step of the way. But at this point, Theodore had taken it upon himself to take care of her. It was clear from her words and behavior that she certainly wasn’t going to. In truth, he was surprised she’d even bandaged herself at all. And maybe she would hate him for what he planned to do... but that was something he could deal with later. Letting her dictate her care (or lack thereof) was the worst sort of plan. Even through his determination though, he felt his heart clench a little at the way she pleaded with him, wishing he could just give in. There was nothing more he wanted than to simply hold her for the night. But his eyes were glued to the large gash in her side, and he knew he couldn’t let that go. Not when it was so plainly the result of a dark curse.
“I know,” he said softly when she insisted she did not want to see any more suffering. Mungo’s would be full of it, he was sure, but there was nothing to be done about that. Theodore didn’t think there would be any private healers available even, as he assumed most of them would be helping at the hospital in a crisis like this. “Soon, you won’t have to. Okay? This is a very serious wound, Susan. After it’s taken care of, you won’t have to see any more...” he trailed off. Anymore, what? Blood, he supposed. Because the suffering... the suffering would still be around. People had died... and likely, others had been maimed even worse. The emotional scars would persist and Theodore could only wonder what, exactly, had happened to Susan. Her injuries were telling to a point, but there was just no way of knowing how affected she was at this point.
He wanted to ask. Wished he could help shoulder the burden she was obviously carrying, but he didn’t think she was ready to talk about things yet. Not now, when it was so fresh, and she was obviously still scared and exhausted. “Let me get your mother,” he said after a moment. If he’d learned anything during his hours in the company of Evelyn Bones, it was that she was a Mediwitch. “If she thinks you’ll be alright...” then, maybe, he wouldn’t forcibly carry her to Mungo’s tonight. But that wasn’t a promise he was going to make out loud.
The promises that Theodore made didn’t offer all that much comfort, and Susan could only lie there, physically and emotionally drained, and resigned in the knowledge that he wouldn’t leave her be. Her head felt heavy as her tears continued to fall. She didn’t want him to leave, even if it was just to get her mother, but she didn’t have any more fight left in her, and so she simply let him dress her in his shirt, only making a small noise of discomfort when he got up to alert Evelyn.
When the bed dipped next, the smell of her mother’s perfume drifted over her, a cool hand pressed to the side of her face and gently wiping away her tears. “Mum,” Susan tried, but Evelyn shushed her softly before asking Theodore some questions about the wounds he’d discovered. “Right then,” her mother said in response, and then Susan could feel the soft tingle that she recognised as a diagnostic charm, colourful lines running around her body like ribbons. She closed her eyes again, the sight making her dizzy, but not before holding out her hand in Theodore’s direction, wanting him close.
Evelyn let out a low hiss once the spell had run its course. “Dark magic,” she agreed, making Susan press her lips together as the idea of a visit to St Mungo’s loomed ever closer. A few more spells were cast, and then her mother added, “It’s a slow-moving curse. Mostly irritating the nerves from what I can tell, but there will likely be more extensive effects once it proceeds.” Her fingers were trailing over Susan’s skin now as if feeling the magic beneath the wound, and a noise of pain escaped her before she could bite it back. “Yes, I’m sorry, darling,” Evelyn said, sounding both regretful and slightly distracted, before her voice turned dark. “What on earth did they do to you.”
“You should have seen the other guy,” Susan said weakly, not even joking as guilt continued to plague her mind, but her mother let out a laugh regardless, her hand now trailing over Susan’s hair in a soft caress. It reminded her of when she had been a child, in bed with the flu, and her mother would bring her soup and read her stories. Except this time a bedtime story wouldn’t make her feel better.
As he’d put his shirt on Susan, it occurred to him that he was bare chested with nothing to cover himself. The concern was worrying but didn’t stop him from rushing out of her bedroom and halfway down the stairs. He was terrified that her father might get the wrong idea though, and instead of finishing his descent, yelled for Evelyn from his spot on the staircase. He was relieved when she came quickly, Frederick nowhere in sight. When they returned to Susan, he stood up by the head of the bed, taking her hand when she offered it to him. His gaze never wavered from watching Mrs Bones examine her daughter. The look on her face concerned him and he frowned deeply at her words. He cast a startled glance at Susan when she mentioned ‘the other guy’. Theodore knew she’d been in duels, but having not heard any details yet, he instantly wondered what she might have done to someone else.
Killed him, he hoped. The thought didn’t even phase Theodore. He squeezed Susan’s hand, glad that whatever had happened she was here, alive and relatively in one piece. Theodore wasn’t pleased that Evelyn had affirmed his assessment though. Knowing, for fact, that dark magic lingered within her body made him feel anxious and angry all at once. Susan’s whimper of pain made him ache, wishing there was something he could do for her. Strangely, he felt just as helpless now as he had when she’d refused to leave with him. In the hours since then, his distaste for that feeling had not dissipated. Being incapable of doing something was infuriating and frightening. “She needs to go to the hospital,” he said earnestly to Evelyn. It was a statement of fact, not a question, and Theodore glanced down at Susan again, worry very evident in his eyes and the expression on his face.
He was stunned when Evelyn replied that they could wait until tomorrow. He wanted to argue. Susan needed to be healed now as far as he was concerned. But he was torn by the fact she also needed sleep and, at some point. Theodore frowned, hesitating, before finally deciding to bite his tongue. If her mother, the Mediwitch, thought it would be okay for her to wait a little longer, they could wait. Not much longer, but at least long enough to let Susan sleep for awhile.
“Let me get you some tea,” he said, looking down fondly now at Susan. He had no supplies with him, but he was certain that with a little magic, he could find where the Boneses stored medical potions. Having every intention of ensuring Susan had no nightmares tonight meant he needed to hydrate her some and after what she’d been through... well, he’d be surprised if she wasn’t thirsty.
“Sanus.” Evelyn carefully touched her wand to the wound, and Susan could feel some of the magic draining away. Its dark nature resisted the spell, making her cling on to Theodore’s hand tightly, but once her mother was done there was a noticeable relief in comparison to the constant ache from before. Perhaps it was a mental relief as well, with the promise that she did not have to leave tonight, didn’t have to face the rest of the world again until morning.
Tea. Tea sounded nice. Susan bit her lip, nodding slightly, and then her mother was drawing Theodore outside into the corridor and she was alone for the moment.
“She’ll be fine,” Evelyn said softly when she had closed the door behind them, having picked up on Theodore’s anxiety. They would go to St Mungo’s first thing, but right now Susan needed to rest. And to that effect, she was more concerned about her daughter’s emotional health. Motioning for him to follow, she retrieved a vial of Dreamless Sleep from one of the hall cupboards, pressing it in Theodore’s hand, along with some towels and a set of robes that hadn’t fit her husband for quite some time. “Take care of her,” she told him, briefly touching his cheek and giving him a soft smile. With some last instructions of how to repeat the spell she’d cast if needed, she moved back downstairs. She trusted Theodore to do what was needed, knowing that she would only be in the way, and that he would call for her if needed. Evelyn had her own stubborn patient to deal with.
Theodore had to wonder for a moment if Evelyn was a mind reader after she’d pressed the potion he’d been wanting into his hands. The change of robes was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. It hadn’t really occurred to him until just then that he had not showered or changed since leaving Hogwarts. He hoped the tea was still on the stove, deciding that conjuring it in the room was a better option than returning to the kitchen.
When he reentered Susan’s rooms, he put the towels and robes on her desk. The vial of potion was tucked into the pocket of his pants, and he headed toward the bed to check on her once more. She was still awake, not that he was surprised by that. Grabbing the bowl he’d transfigured earlier, Theodore scourgified it before changing it into a cup. He was delighted when his conjuring charm worked - the cup filled with tea, although it felt cold from having been sitting out downstairs for awhile.
He poured the content from the vial into the cup. “This will help you feel better,” he said, having decided not to hide what he was doing from her. After everything she’d been through, he didn’t feel that sneakiness was the right answer. The last thing he wanted was to do something that might cause her not to trust him. He set the cup onto the nightstand, before sitting down next to her on the bed. “Do you need help sitting up?” he asked, reaching for her as the words came out of his mouth.
In Theodore’s absence, Susan had gingerly turned over to lie on the side sans wound. The silence felt both comforting and oppressing, after the non-stop chaos at Hogwarts, and she found her mind drifting back to Ernie. Would he still be lying there, cold and alone in the Great Hall? She didn’t even know whether Hannah had made it. Susan clenched her hand in the sheet beside her, startling when the door opened again and Theodore entered the room. Relief. He was still there.
She looked on, only vaguely aware of his movements, though she didn’t argue his statement. Her entire body was aching and right now she didn’t care what potion she had to take for it to stop. Theodore would know. He was good with potions, and he’d keep her safe, as odd as the concept seemed after the happenings of the past months. “I’m fine,” she said automatically, then rethought her response. It had hurt enough to try and shift in a different position, let alone sit up after the blasts she had received to her ribcage. “I mean...” she said, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable. This wasn’t what she did, ask for help, and she wasn’t even sure how to.
Her voice was small when she added, “Please.”
Theodore was struck by how annoyed he felt. Not at her, but on her behalf. She was obviously scarred and the pathetic picture she made mad him feel angry at all of the people and circumstances that had resulted in this. From her time in the dungeons to the battle itself, and the year a whole, there wasn’t much that he didn’t feel some amount of animosity toward. Even though he wasn’t happy, he was still relieved that she had realised insisting she was fine wasn’t going to work with him. Leaning forward, he reached for her, wrapping his arms around her back as he helped her sit up against the pillows. He handed her the cup, waiting for her to drink the tea.
“Drink all of it,” he said gently, resting his hand on her knee. When she was done with it, he put the cup aside. Standing up again, he stripped off the pants he’d been wearing for days, throwing on the robes Evelyn had give him, but not bothering to button them up. He glanced over at the towels, knowing Susan would need a bath, but figuring that his minimal cleaning before could hold her over until after she’d gotten some rest. He hoped she was comfortable in his shirt at least. Crawling up onto the bed, he settled down next to her, helping her move back to a laying position before putting an arm around her waist and kissing her forehead.
She would sleep soon and, if he was lucky, so would he. Now that he had made sure she was taken care of for the time being, exhaustion of his own hit him hard. He felt like every bone in his body had doubled in weight, making him feel bogged down into the mattress. He’d barely slept waiting to find out what had happened to her, and the hours spent awake worrying had taken their toll. “I love you,” he said after his eyes had fallen shut under the heavy strain of his eyelids.
Susan dutifully drank her tea, frowning a bit at the taste. After this year, she was familiar enough with this particular potion to know what it was, but unlike most times that she had been forced to take it, she did not fear the nothingness now. She didn’t want to deal anymore with all the emotions that were running through her. She would have to eventually, but she was eager to escape the nightmares that were already playing in her mind, even awake.
With Theodore’s help, she managed to lie down again, resting against her pillow. She immediately shifted closer to him, letting out a soft sigh when he kissed her forehead. It was comforting, and in her own bed, with his arms wrapped around her, maybe she could let herself believe for just a moment that it would all be okay.
“I love you, too,” she mumbled, meaning it more now than ever, and her breathing slowed until, finally, she was claimed by sleep.