Drabble: Icarus in Flames (Spike/Willow) FRT/PG
I know...I know...I'm spamming. But hey, I wrote this for my dear and cherished Feen and I want to share it with you as well. Behold the Spillow. Please don't hate me for all this posting
Gabrielle
Title: Icarus in Flames
Author: Gabrielle
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Rating: FRT/PG
Word Count: 322
Summary: *Set during Season Six* There's truth hidden in infidelity.
Feedback: Please.
Distribution: My LJ, my IJ, and my site only.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to Joss and a bunch of other people who are not now and have never been me.
Author's Notes: This was written for Purplefeen, because she's my friend and I love her.
Icarus in Flames
He’s cheating on Buffy. He’s a demon and that shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter and that’s the part that bothers him. He remembers how Drusilla’s faithless ways cut him deeply and it doesn’t make much sense for him to be so free of guilt while wearing the philanderer’s cloak himself, but it’s true: he doesn’t feel any guilt at all.
Maybe it’s because this is so different. Maybe it’s because he’s not asking Willow to love him and she doesn’t hate everything but a draught of violence with a good, hard fuck as a chaser. Maybe it’s the way it feels to hold back, to be tender and gentle because that’s what he wants as much as she does. Maybe it’s the questions she never asks as she tends the wounds left by the girl he’s too stubborn to give up on loving. Maybe it’s the way she never cries on his shoulder about the girl she is too stubborn to give up on loving.
It doesn’t matter, though, all those maybes, because they either are or they aren’t the point of it all. What does matter is the way she looks at him, the way she needs him, needs him, not because he’s a demon and can make her feel, but because he’s Spike and he can understand: understand what it’s like to give everything you have, to try as hard as you can to be what they ask and have it never be good enough; understand what it’s like to love with a passion that consumes and give that love to someone who returns only a tepid, wan mockery; understand what it’s like to deny yourself and your nature until the pain of it makes death seem like a blessing and oblivion like a dream. Yes, he understands, and so does she.
Someday, not tomorrow or soon enough, he will realize that it’s not Buffy to whom he’s been unfaithful.