|Buffy Summers (watchme) wrote in beyondwonderlnd,|
@ 2008-10-12 02:12:00
|Entry tags:||buffy summers, sunnydale, willow rosenberg|
RP Log: Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg
Who: Buffy & Willow
When: LOL, a month ago, after the Dead Man's Party.
Where: Sunnydale wanderings
What: As the friends patrol to see if there's anymore zombies left, Buffy and Willow make amends.
To say that Buffy's welcome home party hadn't gone as expected would be like saying that it was slightly dangerous to go out on your own in Sunnydale at night. Despite Willow's careful coaching of the Scooby Gang to use constructive feeling words and I Statements so that Buffy wouldn't feel as if she were under attack, everything had unravelled very quickly into a shouting match. The zombies that'd been trying to kill everyone at the party hadn't helped, either.
Now, with the party over and everyone was left to pick up the pieces, Willow found herself on patrol with Buffy as they hunted for leftover zombies to make sure that they didn't try to kill anyone else. So far, it'd been quiet. Extremely quiet. Mostly because they weren't talking.
Willow didn't know what to say. What was there to say, after all, to a (former?) best friend who'd abandoned you just when you needed her most but thought that you were the one who'd failed her? Willow could see how she could think that, but there had been so many awful things said back at the Summers' house that she didn't even know how to begin to fix things.
Still, the silence was making her jittery, and she didn't like being jittery. Her brain froze up when she was jittery, and she said stupid things, like, "Do you think the grass is really going to be greener if I cross over to that side of the fence?"
Buffy's feelings were still on overload, but now that they'd all broken the ice, she had to admit she felt a lot better. She had never been the type to mull things over for too long. Festering was bad, in her opinion, and she'd rather the band-aid pulled off quickly. Even if it meant that it had happened in front of an entire party of guests. With her mother as the front runner.
But telling Willow that her spell -- the one Buffy hadn't even known Willow was working on -- to cure Angel had worked was out of the question. She didn't want to lay that sort of guilt on Willow. Not now. Firstly, she hated to see Willow upset. Upset Willow was the sort of thing that made Buffy vaguely suicidal in her missions, the Master as her grand example.
To tell the truth, Buffy was happy to be out patrolling with Willow alone. It gave them some time to talk, to get things out in the open, and if she was lucky, they wouldn't be interrupted by the undead denizens of Sunnydale dropping by to eat their brains. And Xander wouldn't be there to start any fisticuffs (Even though Buffy knew that she was more than happy to jump into the fray). She and Xander were good, though. They both tended to blow up, get it out, and put it away when there was danger, and there always was in Sunnydale. Life on the Hellmouth was funny that way; you learned quick when to put personal grievances aside. Mostly. Sometimes.
"Maybe we should ask the elephant?" Buffy said, glancing down at her hands before forcing herself to look at Willow. She'd never been good at dancing around a problem. More action, more figuring things through, less mulling and hem-hawing. "You know, the one sitting right there that neither of us is commenting on?"
"But there's no...oh." It was a measure of just how many crazy things Willow had seen that she'd started looking around for a real live pachyderm before realizing that Buffy was speaking metaphorically. "Right. The elephant. Well, um...the elephant wants to know if-if the grass really was indeed greener for you. On the other side. Of...your bus ride. That's really stretching the metaphor there, isn't it?"
"A little, yeah," Buffy said, turning to Willow as they walked. She picked at her finger nails as she shuffled along, looking embarrassed and guilty. "But, no. It wasn't. It was worse. Much worse. I missed you all like crazy. I just... I had to get away from the Slayer stuff after... Angel." She took a deep breath and glanced at her best friend. "I thought it might be easier to deal with it, but it was harder without you."
Willow nodded, appreciating the admission but also knowing what it took for Buffy to give it. "I missed you too. A lot. And I just -- I guess I don't understand why you didn't think you could -- I mean, I know it must have been hard for you...with Angel, and...I can't even begin to imagine how hard -- but it hurt that you ran off and shut us out of that, you know?"
"I know..." Buffy whispered, staring down at the pavement while they talked. She pulled her lips into an apologetic smile. "I thought it would be better for you, to not have me around always pulling you into danger. I saw you in your wheelchair, and Xander's cast, and Giles's looking beating up, and I freaked. I got expelled and my mom kicked me out of the house, all in the same hour, it seemed. I freaked, and it was wrong, and I know it. I wish I hadn't done it, but I don't have a Time Turner to change it, Will. I want to, but..."
Buffy stopped walking, turned to Willow, and held her elbow. "I'm really sorry. Can you forgive me?"
That was all Willow needed. Her expression instantly softened, and she pulled her elbow away from Buffy - but only to throw her arms around her. "Oh, Buffy. Of course." When she pulled back, it was with a slightly mischievous smile. "Even if you're a quitter."
Buffy pulled back at the same time, with mock surprise and a smile. "You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you? That's okay. My bad. I can take my lumps."
For the first time in months, Buffy felt a sense of happiness settling over her. It had been incredibly stupid of her to run off, when her friends needed her. When she needed them. With an eyebrow up, she continued, "For a while."
"It's like a drug," Willow agreed happily, her smile widening upon seeing Buffy smiling as well. It'd been way too long since she'd seen her (present!) best friend smile like that. "But I'll stop giving you a hard time now. Runaway."
Buffy's eyebrows shot up into the stratosphere, but she was still smiling away. It was nice that Willow was joking about it. Too much emotion was exactly what had been plaguing her these last few months. Buffy just needed a smile and a laugh from her best friend, and she knew that everything would be all right, because they'd be together. If I was any cheesier, I'd be a Cheeto.
"Will!" Buffy snorted, nudging her ribs a little.
"Okay, okay!" Willow said, laughing, as she pulled away to escape the nudge. "I mean, I do understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it. Delinquent."
Buffy was in on the joke now, and she narrowed her eyes playfully and grinned. She could handle this, definitely, and maybe when the time was right, she could tell Willow exactly why she left. "Whiner."
Willow grinned back, glad to see that Buffy was relaxing over the issue. Maybe once they were able to be okay with each other again, she could share all the fears and changes she'd been experiencing herself over the past few months. "Hoodlum."
Giggling, Buffy gave her a "challenging" glare and folded her arms across her chest. With the zombies gone, it didn't seem like vampires were much for showing themselves. She assumed it was because everyone was on their guard, likely to spot trouble and stay indoors. "Tramp!"
Shocked, Willow gave her friend a wide-eyed stare. Having been overlooked by boys pretty much all her life, she was still trying to come to terms with dating any boy, much less anyone enough to deserve the label of tramp. "Scallawag!"
Buffy pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh and failing miserably. It was the first time she'd laughed since she'd killed Angel, and it was obvious. "Witch!"
It drew a laugh out of Willow, but a self-conscious one. Ever since trying - and failing, it seemed - the spell to resoul Angel, Willow had been dabbling a bit more in the whole Wicca culture. In a way, her forays into it had been an attempt to fill up the void that Buffy had left, but it'd become intriguing in its own right. "Yeah, about that...I've been...I mean, I'm not a full-fledged witch - that takes years - but you know, I've been trying it out...a little more."
"Does it scare you?" Buffy was clearly thinking about how she learned she was a Slayer. This whole terrifying world had opened up, and she knew that there were things hiding under children's beds. She reached over and grabbed Willow's hand. Maybe she hadn't been there before, but she could make it up to her friend now.
Gratefully, Willow squeezed back and gave Buffy a small smile. This was how it should have been - but at least it wasn't too late to talk about this now. "It has," she admitted. "I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I so wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare."
"I really wish I could have been there," Buffy answered, her tone clearly agonized that she hadn't been. She had to admit, though, that that she felt capable of handling this guilt; she wasn't sure she could do it before. It really had been too much. She wondered if the conversation would Xander would go just as well as this one appeared to? "I didn't mean for you to go through this by yourself. But I promise, from now on, I'll be there every step of the big scary way."
With a slight tug on Willow's hand, she shuffled them along the sidewalk, patrolling when she knew there was no need to. She just wanted to be with her best friend.
"Really?" Willow asked anxiously, because ever since Buffy had returned she'd been so worried that one of them would say or do something that would send Buffy running away again. "I mean, I-I know you're going through stuff, and I want to be there for you too, but so am I, and I've missed having you to talk to."
"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere, Will. You're stuck with me, like Velcro," Buffy informed her. She could handle it. Her mother was accepting of her Slayer duties, which was more than she could have hoped for. "Or those really, really strong magnets."
Buffy could understand Willow's trepidation. She knew she wasn't meaning to doubt her, but there was trust to earn back. She'd just have to show Willow that she'd be there for her. She honestly hadn't realized that Willow would be as hurt as she was; she'd somehow rationalized it in her head that they'd be grateful to get rid of the dangerous one in their group.
At that reassurance, Willow grinned and tucked her arm around Buffy's. She felt as if a huge weight had just been taken off her shoulders; she hadn't realized just how scared she'd been of Buffy disappearing again until now. "I've always liked Velcro," she said with a hopeful smile. "Put on my first shoes with Velcro."
"Really? I thought you would have come out of the womb knowing instinctively how to tie shoelaces and have the entire library memorized," Buffy teased, though genuinely proud of her friend's big brain. "Like osmosis, or some other -osis that would have been passed down from your mom."
"I wish!" Willow said with a laugh, feeling more and more at ease the longer they talked. She could almost believe that things could get back to normal between them now. "Maybe then I wouldn't be so...Buffy, I'm dating. A werewolf!"
"How's that going anyway?" Buffy asked, casting Willow a sideways glance. "I've gotta get my vicarious smoochies somewhere." It was infinitely more appealing than rehashing her own love life of the past few months.
Unconsciously, Willow smiled at the very thought of smoochies with her boyfriend. She looked down self-consciously, but she was still smiling. "It's going well. Weller than well, sometimes, but other times...I don't know, sometimes I wonder if I'm doing things right."
"Welcome to the wonderful world of dating, where you have absolutely no idea what you're doing, but you're still somehow supposed to know." Buffy thought to make a joke that at least Oz wasn't a homicidal maniac, but then she remembered: werewolf. "He... hasn't bitten you, right? There IS a no-biting clause in this relationship?"
"Oh! Oh, no! No biting." Willow's cheeks flamed, and she concentrated very hard on the individual slabs of sidewalk, because it was too embarrassing to admit that there had been times when she wouldn't have minded a little bit of nipping. "He's very good about that. I mean, he's good at every...this is too much information, isn't it?"
"Hey, remember? Carpe Diem?" Buffy was referring to the conversation they had about Buffy and Angel last year. To take the next step. While her love life had taken a bad turn, that didn't mean that Willow's had to. She smiled at Willow, a warm, genuine smile. Buffy wanted Willow to tell her anything she was dying to get out. "And you haven't had anyone to talk to about it, and I'm all ears. Not literally, of course. I wonder if there's a demons that's all ears. That would be creepy. Remind me to ask Giles so I can stay away."
"But if it's all ears, how would it move?" asked Willow, momentarily distracted from her love life by the logistical puzzle that Buffy had just presented. "I guess if the ear's a muscle itself it could crawl along on a row of ears..."
"Okay, that went from Creepy to Gross. Knew I could count on you," Buffy answered with a blank look. It was clear she was imagining a clump of ears wiggling along the ground to attack. "Oh God, I really hope that doesn't exist!"
Willow gave her friend an apologetic look. "If it did it probably couldn't move very fast," she offered, hoping that'd help. "It could be staked easily - or...however you destroy an ear demon."
Buffy laughed out loud; something was obviously very funny. She couldn't walk anymore when the thought came to her, and she shook her head before she could get control of her laughter. "That's easy, Will; you sic Cordelia on it!"
And that immediately got Willow laughing as well. As helpful as Cordelia had proven herself to be over the past two years, Willow still didn't like her. Even setting aside the issue of hormones, she couldn't see what Xander saw in her, either. "Sh-she'd talk its ears off!" she chortled.
"The sound of her voice would send it running -- or wiggling," Buffy continued. She waved her hand in front of her face to get some air, and when she thought she was going to be all right, a new wave of laughter started. Maybe it was just that it had been a very long night, but Buffy thought they both needed it. "But the earwax might scare her off!"
"She'd be too busy talking to notice the earwax!" Willow added, holding her hands up to cover her giggles. While she wasn't normally the mean spirited sort, this moment of levity was sorely needed between her and Buffy. Actually, after the night (weeks - months, even) they'd had, any moment of levity was sorely needed.