As of yesterday, I became a wanted woman in the supernatural community.
You laugh now, but I can tell you, it's not fun to be stalked by what you thought was just myths and the subject of really, really bad romance novels. Yes, I read those really bad novels. Anyway, they're all real. And not all of them are these amazingly sexy men and women that make you cream your pants the instant you see them. Very few of them are, actually. Most of them look like you and me, with bad teeth, pimples, and hair that just won't listen to any amount of blow-drying and product. It's strange, but true.
Right, yesterday. It started like any other day, actually. And nothing about it gave me the idea it would end with me on the floor at the new club, Icicle, with a vampire drooling over my throat and trying so hard not to bite me. How did it start? Probably how every unremarkable turned fucking weird day starts: with an irate customer.
I work at a call center. Well, worked. I'm one of those oh so charming women on the other end of the line telling you that you don't need to worry about your printer not working and please, just make sure it's plugged in and turned on oh we found the problem tee hee. The amount of times I've been cussed at only to find out that "the cat must've unplugged it" is way too high. I had an interview on Tuesday with a company about being a desk bitch (receptionist for those of you who've never done that job), but I don't think I'm going to make it. This call would have been completely unremarkable if it wasn't for one thing.
"No, sir, I understand you've worked with computers your whole adult life. No, sir, I am a real tech- Sir, that kind of language is unnecessary. Sir, I- Sir, please, just check." I rubbed my eyes, wondering if there was a way to choke people through the phone.
"Listen here, you little bitch. You fucking cunts don't know anything 'bout computers. And may your entire system go down for treating me like I'm an idiot!"
That was enough. I had dealt with enough cussing during this call. I was not paid the supervisor hours to put up with this kind of verbal abuse. And it was going to be enough to dreg up the interest to go out with my girlfriend after all this. We'd been together for six months - a personal best for me, since my last boyfriend had lasted two weeks before I found him in bed with his ex - and she wanted to celebrate by going out to Icicle. She had first wanted to go to the lesbian club out on the edge of town, but I seriously hated those places. Uh, it had nothing to do with the fact I had made out with one of the bartenders and never called her, nope. Or the fact that most the girls there fed into the whole "bisexuals are just sluts" thing and knew me.
... okay, it was just that one club. But Yvaine was dead set about going to a club, so she ended up choosing Icicle. Something about the great energy there and the music and I would totally perk up the instant I walked in. I doubted that, but the idea made her happy, so I agreed to an hour. If I was still tired, we could go home and celebrate in other ways. But first I had to deal with this douche of a customer.
"Sir, until you are willing to speak to me without insulting me, I will not help you."
"I curse your entire system, you bitch."
Well, that's all I needed. "Thank you for c-" My ending spiel was cut off as my headset started feeding back loud enough that the supervisor down the row looked up at me, causing me to rip the entire thing off my head. Just in time too, because the entire set burst into flames. Down the row, Maria yelped as her computer caught on fire, which meant in five seconds the sprinklers flicked on and shorted out our entire system. I just stared, dumbfounded, as the putrid water rained down around us. Matt, the supervisor, cleared his throat.
"I think we should evacuate. Also, I think we're going to have to cut today short."
Yesterday, at noon, I had my first run in with a witch, and I had no idea that the day was just going to get worse from there.
"So, uh, Yvvie. I have this really weird story for you." The door closed behind me as I started to kick my heels off, my hair clinging to my head in limp red waves. "Yvvie? You awake yet?" She normally was up at four AM (my girlfriend, the store manager), but today was her Saturday, so she usually slept as late as she could. "Yvvie?"
"I'm up, 'ren," I heard her say on the edge of a yawn. She stumbled out of the bedroom, dressed but looking like she had just gotten up. Her hair, the color of mahogany and I know that sounds purple and overly romantic but it's too hot to just be called "brown," was knotted up against her head in a way that made me wince. Her hair could tangle at the word "wind," and was a pain to brush out. "It's just noon. What are you- Karen! What happened to your hair?"
"Funny story." I started back to the bathroom, shedding my soaked jacket. "A couple of computers decided to self-destruct today in their finest pyrotechnic glory."
She gaped at me, lowering her head to look over her glasses. "You're kidding me. Geez, Karen, are you okay?"
I nodded, starting to strip and hang the wet clothes over the bathtub. "My ear is killing me, but I'm fine. The electronics are fried, though, so Matt sent everyone home. Yvvie, it was the weirdest thing! I was on a call with this ass - the usual type that can't believe I know anything about computers because I don't have a dick, and all of a sudden my headset just..." I made an exploding motion with my hands. "The thing just totally started feeding back in my ear and went up! And then another computer blew and- Weirdest thing I've ever seen." I rubbed my abused ear. "Practically deaf in my good ear because of that."
I felt her come up behind me, pulling me into a warm and oh so dry embrace. I leaned back into it, sighing. "But you're okay?"
"Yeah. Hey, I didn't wake you up, did I?"
She shook her head. "I woke up about five minutes ago. Is everyone else okay?"
"We're fine. Maria's a little shaken up, but no one was hurt. Thank God." Ooh, long stretch of brown throat. I couldn't help myself as I nibbled on it, tasting her skin as she shivered against me. She had that effect on me, though... "Let me get into something a little more dry."
Her hands slid down, over the back of my bra. "Let me help you with that."
"That's not something more dry," I murmured, kissing her neck.
"No, but far more fun." Slowly, Yvaine unhooked my bra, sliding the fabric over my skin with the feather light touch that she knew drove me insane. "Besides, I have to check every inch of you to make sure you're okay."
"You just want an excuse to play with my tits." My hands slid up under her shirt, touching the soft skin of her stomach.
She laughed, an innocent laugh that completely didn't hide the wicked look in her eyes. "What makes you think that?" With that, she dropped the wet fabric onto the floor, giving me a deep kiss. I smiled into the kiss, making sure my hands went straight to the top of her ass. Her lips brushed over my cheek to my ear, nibbling and licking as she continued with her exploration.
At the end of her "making sure I was okay," Yvaine brushed a hand over my half dry hair. "You're lucky, you know," she murmured, playing with the end of my hair.
I made some kind of questioning sleepy noise, snuggling into her. She always played with my hair after sex, and it almost always put me to sleep. She usually was okay with that, since it meant she had exhausted me. Yvaine took great pride in making sure I was completely satisfied whenever we slept together. She ran a hand through my hair, making an annoyed noise when it caught on several tangles.
"Nothing, Karen." She kissed my forehead, pulling her hands out of my hair to hug me. "You still want to go out tonight?"
"I think I'll be up for it." I moved my foot to play with her anklet, gently rolling the jewelry across her leg. "Unless you decide to do that again," I told her wickedly.
She laughed, kissing me. "While it would be great to spend out anniversary like this, I think we have to get out of bed to eat every once and a while."
"I already ate," I muttered, making her snort.
"While that is, we should probably get up. C'mon, I'll cook you something."
I froze, eyes wide. "Yvvie, really, that isn't-"
"I'm kidding! There's this great pizza place off of Main that Travis told me about. I've been there and their spinach pizza is fab. Come on, my treat."
Spinach pizza, my weakness. Any pizza with a good crust and great sauce was pretty much my weakness. "Sounds pretty good to me. But later. I can barely move."
She laughed, a deep womanly laugh that went straight to my heart and lower. "I know."
Hint number two that my day was going to be turned upside-down came while we were eating. This one was much more subtle, and ended up being far worse in the long run. Yvaine was right, as always, about the quality of the pizza, but had completely neglected to mention that they brewed their own beer. I rarely drank, considering that it took a certain state of mind for me to even consider alcohol, but I couldn't pass this up. Plus, anniversary. Yvaine never had alcohol, even at the clubs, so it wasn't completely unexpected. I took a long drink from my beer, letting out a very appreciative noise. "Yvvie, thank you so much for letting me know about this place. This is great!"
She nodded, in the middle of a bite. "Thought you'd like it," she said once she chewed and swallowed. "I was really surprised when Travis told me it was right down the road from the store." She patted her lips dry, trying not to smudge her lipstick. I watched her with amusement, knowing she made herself up to make this a date instead of a late lunch. "They deliver, too."
My eyes widened. So many little businesses didn't deliver around here. "Really? I take it there's going to be a pizza party at the store soon?"
"If we make the quarter."
"So there's going to be a pizza party," I said on the edge of a laugh. They had already made the quarter earlier in the week. Ever since the economy had gone down, their store had made big bucks. But that was to be expected when said store sold used books at low prices.
"But they don't know that, so shh." She smiled at me, not even noticing the big hairy guy behind her.
"Bane! I haven't seen you in forever."
Yvaine turned, surprised. "Mark! Where have you been?" She stood up, giving him a huge hug. I watched this, frowning at the nickname.
"Here, there, and here again. Bane, it's been too long since... what, Harvest Moon?"
She laughed. "At least. Hey, did you ever meet Karen?" She turned to me, smiling. "Mark, this is my girlfriend, Karen. Karen, this is the guy that hired me."
Okay, that made more sense. "I remember her talking about you. You went to... Oregon, didn't you? New store?"
He nodded. "Few years back. Store's in capable hands now. So you're the girl that stole the Bane's heart." He smiled at me, a very toothy smile. "Hey, are you going to the meeting in a week?"
"The one out in the forest?" I asked doubtfully. "I'm not... I mean, I..." How do you tactfully say that you're an atheist when your girlfriend is very happily Pagan and goes out every full moon to do a ritual with her coven? It was never anything that came between us, but some people were a little weirded out when I told them I wasn't religious and my girlfriend likes worshiping nature.
Yvaine shook her head. "Karen doesn't do that kind of thing. Are you going to be there?"
"Nah, I have to get back to the wife." Mark was a very toothy smiler. It was kind of unnerving and something I should have paid attention to. "She's pregnant, you know."
"No, I didn't!" Yvaine turned to him, eyes wide. "So is she...?"
"Four months and still going. And I expect you to be there when they're born, Bane."
"Twins?" I asked, politely. I wasn't particularly interested in children in this point in my life, but I still had plenty of years ahead of me.
Mark just shrugged. "Something like that. Hey, I'm just here picking up some stuff for my dad, so I have to go. But it was great seeing you again." He hugged her again, whispering in her ear. She smacked him, giving him an unamused look. "Just saying. Nice to meet you, Karen." With that, he went up to the counter and picked up a bag that had been waiting for him, obviously having called ahead. He gave Yvaine a wave as he left, and she sat back down, still smiling.
I lifted my eyebrows, not having mastered the one eyebrow trick. "Bane?"
She shrugged, not looking at me. "Old store nickname. Didn't think I'd see him again." Yvaine took a long drink of her water, and stretched in the way that drew my eye to her amazing body. "Well, I'm full. You?"
I finished off my beer, the nutty taste having turned a little strange on my tongue. "Yeah. I didn't know he was married."
"A while back. They'd been trying to have kids for a while now, but... well, she'd had some problems." She stood back up, grabbing her purse. "Good to see that she's made it to four months. I only met her once, and she's a good woman."
Looking back on it, it made sense. At the time, it was just meeting her old boss who happened to be the same religion as her, but with a little hindsight, it made too much sense.