InsaneJournal

Years of surviving the multitude of calamitous incidences at the school combined with a mind that still had wisps of people like Nate Grey and even Logan, had lent itself to what could only be described as an invincibility complex in Rogue. Whatever was going on, it certainly wasn't within her abilities to change it and with people like Rahne snatched up despite being near the very capable hands of Wolverine, she felt silly even trying. She was no longer on a team thanks to her personal demons (though eventually she intended to correct that) but she had just as much training and experience as the people who were, even more so in some cases and with team leaders disappearing at disproportionate rates there was a natural obligation to step up.

She didn't require a uniform or any official approval, not that she'd ask for or expect either, and she certainly wasn't interested in checking in with a buddy. Instead, Rogue ran soft, white fingers through the tangles of her hair and tightened her usual ponytail with a quick tug, more meticulous where her appearance was concerned for reasons she'd never openly admit and were solely for her to mull...and Warren, but he had given her a number of mental images she was not prepared for either so they were kind of even. In any event, there was no plan of action, no marked course for how she was to proceed and so she answered a baser call to patrol the grounds if only for her own peace of mind. Sitting around doing nothing would have been a goddamn crime and she felt almost relieved as she pulled on her much maligned gloves and felt her usual dichotomy of relief and despise. That she was decidedly less deadly with them on was a comfort but they were a hot, sweaty reminder not only for all of the things she could do but also those she couldn't.

It was probably a bad thing that she had a patrol routine, always starting and ending at the same points and following the same winding route which ensured that she could cover the most ground. It could easily have been called a walk, differing only be intention, but feeling useful soothed her some. She was good at brevity, at offering herself up to go first or willingly charging ahead at the front of a battle line,

Rogue hadn't ventured far, her feet quiet in a way that was learned as opposed to innate as she worked diligently to avoid rousing a Cal or Logan into lecturing her about buddies, and of course to maintain an element of stealth. It was probably futile but old habits were what they were and it felt good being back in fighting form. It was something she had taken for granted and something she had missed during her misguided attempt to be cured, a thought that currently weighed heavily on her mind as she caught the faint laughter of...a baby? There were no children that small currently residing at the school so it was enough to stop her dead in her tracks, squinting her eyes and jutting her head forward to scan for the point of origin when that same sound broke the silence once again. It was hardly startling and worked more like a trail of breadcrumbs, leading Rogue to a partially cracked door that was otherwise silent and void of light. And once again, she couldn't help herself. She was certain that the baby sounds were coming from this room and it prompted the extension of a gloved hand to press gently against dark wood and slowly push it open, furrowing her brow and contorting her face into the very picture of inquisitive. Brevity would get the best because she couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Something had happened. Of course she had no recollection of the moments just before. The room hadn't been dark as it was currently flooded in a warm buttery glow thanks to pale yellow walls and a window that let in just the right amount of sunlight. There were block letters scattered in alternating heights, spelling out a name she could not read no matter how hard she tried, just above a white Jenny Lind crib. And through the bars of the crib there clearly sat a baby, tugging at its feet and trying to bring a tiny foot to its mouth before tumbling back and giggling. "There she is, baby. There's your momma," a deep yet gentle voice cooed, making Rogue smile despite herself. She was in a simple t-shirt and a pair of old jeans, her feet in slippers that had seen better days as the soft tinkle of the mobile above her baby's bed caught a breeze. She felt a strong hand at the small of her back guiding her forward, a loving gesture she was somehow used to as her bright green eyes watched with unfettered delight, the small pink fingers of her son latch on to the railing of the crib to pull himself upright, his legs clumsy and foal-like and his pink mouth wet with drool. "Hey baby," Rogue's voice was distant but loving and there was a slowness to everyone's movements, reaching out with bare hands and open arms for the boy reaching out toward her. She turned her head around for just a moment to glance back at Johnny Carolina who nodded her on with a pride that was effervescent, smiling with a happiness she didn't know was possible as the baby, her baby, grabbed at the skin near her wrists and fell easily into her arms, his head collapsing forward into her chest and her heart close to exploding because of it.

"He looks just like you," only it wasn't Johnny this time, the voice and figure changing into a different John, this time Allerdyce though Rogue didn't seem to notice. "He's beautiful, we did a good job," Rogue teased, rocking the baby gently and letting her fingers feel the soft fuzz of his hair, trying to smooth funny little cow-licks and breathing in his scent. "He has my eyes though." Nate Grey stood next to her, formerly John--formerly Johnny, but it was natural, she didn't notice the change...didn't care. "I told you we would find a way to make it work," Bobby mused, the changes coming on faster as Bobby became Jay and Jay became Adrien who faded into Noah, Rahne and Remy at a frenetic rate. "Bu' you still gotta be careful, chere" the familiar heat of the Cajun's voice warned, drawing the warmth of the room away from her and cooling everything down. It made an icy knot in her chest, a feeling that spread through the web-like twists in her veins, and her baby boy began to cry. Her jaw tightening in response, she knew what this was. It's how she always felt those seconds before something inside of her, that strange well of power, darted like thousands of tiny threads into her victim, lacing itself into its fragile life force, its memories...everything that made it real, and drew it back with vampiric greed.

The baby was so young, it didn't take long. She tried to drop him, to stop the inevitable but he was dead before his lifeless body hit the floor, her mouth and eyes wide with horror and so devastated she couldn't even scream. "Uhn, uhhhh," it was a moan, the sound of someone who was dying or wanted to die as she choked on her own voice and was blinded by a welling of tears which overflowed and spilled down her cheeks. "N..n..no...no...no," and she held out her hands, staring at the white undersides of her arms which had betrayed her so horrifically. "You really did it this time, kid," Logan lit his cigar, the momentary flame of the match the brightest point in the now grey-hued room but she was gone, shaking with grief as she stared down at the gaunt child on the floor and with the most guttural of screams, Rogue collapsed onto the floor beside it.

When she awoke, it was like someone had been trying to drown her, gasping for air and shooting out of her bed with a scream. It took a moment for Rogue to realize where she was, that it was her bedroom and that maybe she had been dreaming but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop crying.