In the real world, you might be. But this place is a whole other ballgame. If one of those five points helps keep you from getting mangled or eaten in some way, I will have done my duty as an active citizen.
1. Three legged are more likely to pull a fast one on you when you're not looking, though. 2. How do you explain the lack of chunks? 3. Have you only dated women with dual personalities in the past? 4. Check inside the fireplace, where Santa used to travel. 5. Better yet, wish less and do more.
For the sake of everybody coming here, I would hope so.