The Bear and Barnacle

If, like me, you live somewhere where Naan is not a phone call away, you can do what we do and make your own. It really helps if you have a heavy-duty mixer with a dough hook, unless you happen to have a house elf or someone you can Imperius to do all the kneading for you. ;)


( ”Naan” )

The way I see it, alchemists are going at it all wrong. Why waste time trying to turn lead into gold when, with just four ingredients (five in this case), you can make shortbread? Truly. It's that good. And an easier recipe would be hard to find. Holmes is currently serving them to Severus and Dumbledore for tea. I do implore you though, don't use dried or ground rosemary in this recipe. It won't work. Use the freshest rosemary needles you can find. My mom keeps an extensive herb garden and I make these often during the summer.

( Rosemary Shortbread )

Jack walks through the pub, back to the toilets, and comes back out a few minutes later down to just his boxer-briefs simply because he can and he hasn't the slightest bit of shame about it. He tosses out a "Maybe don't look, Dora," before he strolls casually over to the board to pin up a paper as if people in underwear do that all the time.

"Bananas are good," he says. "And so's underwear, and so's what underwear covers up. Does that make it like a banana peel? Anyway, here's an easy recipe because bananas are good."

Baked Bananas
1 banana, ripe or not, either works but it's a good way to use them up

For sauce:
1/4 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon brown sugar (white works, too)
2 tablespoons water
Big ol' shake of ground nutmeg, cinnamon, or allspice, or any combination
Optional spoon of butter or margarine for more flavor

Scale as needed for more bananas.

1. Preheat oven to 175°C/350°F.
2. In a saucepan over medium-high heat, mix together cornstarch and sugar. Gradually stir in water. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in spice (and butter/margarine if using). You can also heat it in the microwave just until boiling.
3. Place peeled banana(s) in a casserole dish. Drizzle sauce over the bananas. You might need to turn them over some to get them nice and covered.
4. Bake in the preheated oven for 8-10 minutes and serve warm.

I really don't recommend trying to skip the oven and cook this in the microwave. You'll get a totally different texture on the banana and it's almost creepy— the outside stays about the same but the inside cooks up from within and the banana splits open. The outside still holds it together, so it turns into a sort of dissected banana. Not a very appetizing presentation.

Rincewind walked down the hall of the pub to the kitchen so nonchalantly things that grow at the bottom of ponds would have known he was up to something. Loud voices sounded from the store room; something about a great mass of pumpkins that hadn’t been there ten minutes ago and if someone didn’t do something about them, someone was going to feel the edge of a rolling pin. Rincewind opened the kitchen door a crack and peeked in. He heaved a sigh of relief. The room was empty. He could deal with Ivonka, as long as they weren’t in the same room at the same time, but Rincewind was terrified of Xellos. Hopefully, he’d be done and gone before anyone came in or they got the pumpkins sorted out. Rincewind tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the box that kept things cold. He didn’t understand how it worked but then, he didn’t exactly understand how breathing worked either. He removed bottles and opened cupboards, getting the rest of the ingredients he needed.

( An easy and elegant dessert for your Valentine’s Day pleasure. )