callisto24 (callisto24) wrote in backupcopythat, @ 2008-05-23 17:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | 24, english, fanfiction, past and future |
past and future, 4
title: past and future, part IV
author: callisto24
charakters: Jack, Tony, Chase, Kim, Michelle
category: drama, m/m slash
theme: past Season 3
rating: R
warnungs: drugs, m/m slash, violence
disclaimer: nothing belongs to me...
** *
“He has done what?” Kim nearly screamed into her phone and sank on the next chair.
Chase looked at her, alarmed, but she signalled him immediately to remain quiet.
“Oh God... sure... I understand... yes, I ‘ ll be there soon... thank you!”
She laid the phone on the desk, shook her head, sighed and glanced up.
“It ‘ s dad... again!”
“What?” Chases head shot up and he stared at her in fear. “What happened?”
His voice sounded to him as if it came out of another dimension.”
“I don ‘ t know. Probably the usual mess he ‘ s in.” She bent forward, laid her head on the table and groaned. “Honestly, I don ‘ t wanna know! Somehow he has a magnetic effect on each kind of trouble within this state, and I so have enough of it.”
“What happened to him?” Chase came close to loose his patience.
Kim scrutinized him slightly irrated and finally leant backwards, facing the wall.
“I ‘ m not sure, I told you! It ‘ s a weird story. Seems like he had tried to visit Tony in prison and had been captured and locked in there.” She raised her eyes to the ceiling and closed them. “Obviously David Palmer had intervened and brought him and Tony out.”
“I don ‘ t understand!”
“Me neither! They are both in hospital now. Chloe had been informed and found it necessary to tell the families about, or who ‘ s left of them.” She smiled bitterly. “Michelle is already on her way.”
Chase only received the word ‘hospital’, when he jumped up in a haste. “I ‘ ll have a look.”
Another testing glance studied him, before Kim answered patiently.
“Chase, he ‘ s my father. You ‘ ll have to stay here with Angela.”
“I ‘ m coming with you, we ‘ ll take Angela with us.”
“No!” Kim clarified determined. “I don ‘ t know what ‘ s going on, but chances are, that it ‘ s nothing a kid should be confronted with. Your duty is to save her from this.”
Chase insisted. “I ‘ ll call the babysitter. I.... I don ‘ t wanna let you go there on your own.”
Kim stood up. “But I will. It ‘ s not the first time and it probably won ‘ t be the last, and I certainly won ‘ t let Angela take the consequences.”
She stared at him, cold and angry.
“Kim, listen!”
“No! I know, you worry and I promise to tell you everything as soon as I ‘ ll find out.”
She grabbed her keys and jacket and left the house, fuming. She only wondered, if it was her dad she was angry at or Chase, who started more and more to make a fuss about him. As if it wasn ‘ t enough to wake nearly each night, listening to Chases restless sleep, often interrupted by his desperate calls for Jack.
She understood very well, that the traumatic experiences of the recent months had led to this strange behaviour, and as well the special connection between former partners, especially concerning what Jack had been forced to do. But otherwise she was convinced about the importance of leaving things behind.
If she could do it, why wouldn ‘ t he be able to. And then there existed this disastrous feeling in the depth of her mind, a unconscious suspicion, the unclear idea of missing something very important.
“Forget it,” she told herself. “Time to focus on dad, to find out what she was supposed to do in order to help him... again.”
* * * * *
Jack woke up in the comfortable bed, blinking twice, before he began to remember. Shocked he sat up and moaned, when the pain shot through his nerves. He touched the bandages across his chest and stomach and decided, that it wasn ‘ t too bad. Fortunately Palmer had arrived before these maniacs had started to cause serious damage, though it certainly had been enough for him. He pulled out the IV and swang his legs out of the bed, waited a moment until his dizziness faded and managed to stand up.
A gasp escaped him, when he tried the first step, but he moved on.
“Mr. Bauer! You ‘ re not allowed to get up. I have to tell the doctor.”
“Wait!” Jack hoarsley called back the nurse. “It ‘ s my responsibility and you won ‘ t prevent me. But I would appreciate it, if you help me with my clothes.”
She sighed. “It ‘ s really not my decision. I ‘ ll see what I will be able to do.”
A moment later Jack had released himself and followed the path the doctor had shown him despite his concrete objections.
As fast as he could go without hurting too much he hurried to the station, where he presumed Tonys room. Struggling for air he paused before he carefully opened the door and immediately froze by the unexpected sight.
Sunlight streamed over the szene, which presented itself to him.
Michelle sat on Tonys bed and held him close in her arms. He had buried his head on her shoulder and sobbed desperately, while she was stroking tenderly his hair, tears falling from her eyes, flowing down like an unstoppable river of sorrow and compassion.
Jack stood and stared at them, who remained both oblivious to his presence, feeling the hot liquid burning inside him, urging to leave his eyes, when his throat narrowed and the familiar weight sank inside his heart, pressed it together, cold and merciless. And it hurt deeper, than any wound he ‘ d ever received, feelings of jealousy, of guilt, fear and anger mixed with the pain of loss, and he became aware, that he couldn ‘ t breathe. Softly he closed the door and slid down the wall until he sat on the floor, slowly trying to fill his lungs with air, to control the necessary functions of his body, to maintain the power.
* * * * *
Chase went up and down restlessly staring at the cellphone on the table which gave away no sound.
Angela was sleeping, which was surprising enough, because he hadn ‘ t been able to stop shaking the whole evening and she certainly had recieved his vibes.
If at least Kim had called him here. He ‘ d tried to reach Chloe, but she hadn ‘ t known much and broken off the conversation soon in order to go back to work.
He stumbled and cursed, when he automatically tried to keep himself from falling with his left arm.
The new bandage allowed him more freedom in his movements, but yet was unfamiliar and tempted him to behave carelessly until his instincts of self - preservation stopped him.
He listened to the sounds outside, ran to the door and tore it open, when he heard the car arrive.
He watched her slowly leaving the garage, closing the gates with unbelievable patience, before she approached the house, where he stood, waiting, feeling like standing barefoot on top of glowing coals.
She kept silent, until she had stepped in and he looked at her unable to hide his nervousness, when he clenched both fists despite the pain.
Kim sat down and propped her chin upon one hand, with the other one absent mindly playing with the phone, before she finally broke the silence.
“Couldn ‘ t find him.”
Chase glanced at her in disbelief. “What do you mean, you couldn ‘ t find him.”
“Exactly what I said. He had already left the hospital when I arrived.”
“So he ‘ s fine, “ Chase mumbled, sighing in relief.
She shrugged. “Probably! He ‘ d released himself. I went to his apartment and then contacted CTU, but no one there had heard of him.”
Chase considered the information, sensing a threatening premonition of upcoming mischief, opposite to his former ease.
“Maybe he ‘ s with President Palmer,” he suggested, knowing deep inside, that it couldn ‘ t be the truth.
Kim shook her head. “Palmer ‘ s on his flight back to Washington, after he ‘ d left the CTU staff more than confused. Chloe told me that he had been very angry about the situation there and promised to use his influence to renew whatever possible. Obviously some difficulties concerning the prison incident had annoyed him additionally.”
She paused and let out a long breathe. “Fact is, that I couldn ‘ t find out much about it, even Chloe had no concrete idea. Palmer had planned to involve CTU doing research but had been prevented from the start. He seems to be no longer in the position to make these orders, or... ,” she paused. “Or someone intervened. Believe me, I ‘ ve seen this more than once during my short experience in this kind of job, and I still can ‘ t understand how Chloe or Dad can cope with it. It ‘ s so wrong to sacrifice your rationality to mindless obedience.”
“Then... ,” Chase tried to stick to the topic. “Then nobody knows exactly what has happened or where Jack is gone?”
He gulped and suppressed the nausea, which threatened to grasp him.
Kim hesitated, searched his eyes for the first time this night.
“I ‘ ve seen Michelle and Tony.” Again she paused until Chase sat next to her and took her slim hand into his.
“Tell me,” he urged. She sighed.
“Tony had been forced to go through something... horrible.”
She shook her head. “Michelle had been crying all the time, but she sounded as if Dad had been in trouble, because he wanted to reveal the event, to help him out..., whatever.”
“What trouble?” Chase asked, tried to sound patient while he stroke softly her fingers.
“Some prisoners captured him, hurt and tried to kill him. I ‘ ve seen the medical reports.”
She leant her head against his neck.
“These guys are dead now. There must have been a shooting incident, between some strangely armed jailbirds and the guards, after special unit had left, and the responsible men had been killed at once.”
Kim nuzzled against his throat.
“I ‘ m tired, Chase, and I ‘ m done worrying. If Jack decided, that no one should find him, it ‘ s his choice. I ‘ ll leave him a message and see what will happen.”
Chase stayed on his seat while she got up and went upstairs. He couldn ‘ t believe that there should be nothing he could do.
The strange feeling engulfed him again and he sensed the cold fear filling his stomach growing until he started to shiver.
* * * * *
Corone removed a bit of fluff from his trousers. “I can ‘ t believe this mess. You think there will be no chance for us to retain Carlyle?”
“No!” The man on the monitor insisted. “No problem to hold you out of this, already done. But someone has to pay for it. Forget him! What are your next plans?”
Corone looked up at him.
“Call Marwan. We ‘ ve wasted enough time. Now we will act!”
* * * * *
Jack entered the dark building, followed the familiar way, leaving shadowed corners and dirty rooms behind him, before he knocked on the last door.
“It ‘ s Jack.” The husky voice sounded not his own.
The door opened creaky.
“Jack? Thought I ‘ d never see you again, man! What an unexpected pleasure, what can I do for you?”
“You know, what I need.”
The tall stranger grinned. “Sure, come in. You pay now or do you want credit?”
“Have no money with me, and I ‘ m kind of in a hurry.”
“Well,” the red headed man watched him patiently. “There shouldn ‘ t be a problem. I always had relied on your trustworthy behaviour.”
* * * * *
“Jesus, Jack, where have you been?”
Chase rushed in as soon as Jack had opened the door a crack, shoving the visibly exhausted man aside.
Jack rubbed his temple and groaned. “Damnit Chase, what do you want?”
“What I want? Can ‘ t you imagine that we are worrying about you, I mean... Kim hasn ‘ t heard from you for two days.”
“I wanted to call her tonight, ‘ve been busy.”
“Probably CTU needs information.”
“I ‘ ve reported exerything I know, so would you please leave me alone.”
Chase paced through the room, obviously upset.
“We couldn ‘ t find you.”
“I needed some time for myself.”
Jack turned around, gripped a gleaming cigarette from the ashtray and inhaled deeply. He avoided the other mans sight, left the door open to make clear, that he wished him to leave.
“Jack!” Chase paused, scrutinized him before he went on. “You should talk to someone, doesn ‘ t have to be me, someone you trust.”
Jack coughed. “I ‘ m fine, now go!”
“I ‘ ve heard about Tony.”
“Chase!” Jack tried to stay calm, but his voice started to hold a threatening undertone. “I ‘ m sorry, that I hadn ‘ t called Kim yet and I promise I ‘ ll do. And to CTU I will return next week, so everything will turn out to be exactly how it should, right?” He squeezed the cigarette out and took a deep breath. “And that includes you going home to your daughter and your girlfriend.”
“Jack, I can ‘ t bear this any longer... .!”
“Chase!” The agent let his anger overtook control. “For God ‘ s sake. What can I say to make you leave?”
Chase tried to catch his look. “Tell me, that you ‘ re okay.”
“I am. Now go!”
Chase grabbed him with his right arm and turned him around until they faced a second before Jack pulled free.
“Damnit, Chase! I don ‘ t wanna see you!”
“Jack!” Chases voice became soft. “Tony hadn ‘ t heard about you either. I ‘ m sure, he wants to know, how you are.”
“I ‘ ll go to hospital later.”
Chase studied the grey jogging pants and the long sleeved shweatshirt, both hanging loosely around the small body.
“He ‘ s at home already. Palmer arranged that he could stay with Michelle until the hopefully last part of the trial.”
Jack looked down to the ground. “Then I ‘ ll see him there,” he added. “Yet nothing you had to care about.”
“I only want to help you.”
“And I want you to go, so leave!”
The last word came out like some kind of shrill shriek setting Chases teeth on edge. He raised his hands in defense and drew back.
“I ‘ m sorry Jack, I... I ... only wanted to be there for you.”
Jack slowly released his breath and waited for him to continue.
Chase stuttered uncomfortably looking away.
“If there is anything I could do... or Kim... I mean... .” He stopped, suddenly too scared to follow this path longer.
“If you... I can understand... when things get out of control and I.... .”
“It ‘ s enough Chase!” Jack smirked slightly and unforeseen.
“You have no idea of anything!” The smile faded and he became serious again. “And now I honestly beg you to go.” He sighed and stared to the thick curtains excluding the daylight completely. “Don ‘ t try to challenge me, Chase! I ‘ m not able to deal with you this moment and we both would regret it, if you ‘ d stay.”
Chase swallowed faintly.
“I... I ‘ d like to come back.”
Jack shook his head. “Check your priorities, boy! You have too much to lose!”
The door shut behind him, he couldn ‘ t remember how he had moved outside, only the bitter taste on his tongue showed him the place he stood, alone and afraid, captured in a dead-end street. And then he had seen them, the vast indications, had heard them screaming into his ears, and no matter how much he tried to convince himself about the strong side effects some pain medication could show, he knew that these eyes hadn ‘ t lied to him, hadn ‘ t been able to hide what Jack had done, what he was doing again.”
* * * * *
Jack ruffled his soon too long hair and stared at the wall.
‘So Tony was at home.’ The smile came back to him. ‘At least one good thing resulting from the whole damage.’ He absolutely had to thank Palmer, what he had done could never be repaid.
And he had to see Tony.
Jack closed his eyes, thought about possibilities to avoid the confrontation, well knowing there existed none. He doubted that Tony would spent his energy in worrying about him, he would have other things to overcome.
Jack pressed his eyelids shut, biting his lower lip in an effort to distract his thoughts.
He couldn ‘ t think about it, not now, it hurt too much.
He ‘ d already spent the past two days trying to forget, trying to kill the pain, trying to empty his mind, to get rid of the horror, to find a way to remain numb, to stop this feelings.
But he couldn ‘ t succeed. He ‘ d woken up, sensed the desperation, in and around him, stronger than before and he ‘ d managed to run, to pass the motionless bodies, to leave behind the dirt and the sorrow of this place and had returned to the silent grief, he was used to, knowing without a doubt, that he would come back soon enough.
There was no way to avoid this, he had to hear it from Tony, had to know, if he would blame him, had to bear it, whatever he would throw at him. And he had to do it soon, very soon.
But not today, not in this moment, he couldn ‘ t.
* * * * *
He waited until Michelle had vanished, followed her leaving car with his sight, only then left his own. He would have at least half an hour, before she would return.
Time enough to clear things, yet not enough time to change the situation into an uncomfortable event.
“Come in, Jack.” Tony must have expected him to arrive this moment, probably seen him from inside.
“About time for you to show up. When I told Michelle that you ‘ d called, she wanted to thank you.”
He paused until Jack had entered.
“She had been a little upset since no one could find you.”
Tony looked into Jacks eyes, studied them lovingly, saved to note, that he ‘ d been upset, too.
“Thank me - for what?” Jack mumbled quietly.
“Don ‘ t give me this ‘I ‘ m-guilty,-condemn-me-bullshit’, Jack, at least if you don ‘ t want to make me really angry!”
Tony turned and stared out of the window. “I can ‘ t handle this now,” he added low.
Jack closed the distance between them. At first shyed away from him, but remained standing behind him, only their breathing audible in the silence, before he laid carefully one hand on Tonys shoulder, who winced imperceptibly, but soon relaxed in the touch.
Jack replaced the hand with his head, leant tenderly against Tonys back while his fingers slid down the upper arm, rested near the elbow.
He breathed softly into Tonys neck, smelled the scent, he ‘ d missed so much, the worshipped fragrance of musk and spicy woods, remembering him of the past.
Remembering him of long nights filled with passion and desire, with a need that could never be satisfied, and of the short, hasty encounters, which were unavoidable to gratify their hunger for each other from time to time in forbidden places, when their mutual lust had overwhelmed the fear of being discovered and left them sweating and panting, their limbs still entangled for a moment of exhaustion and release.
He couldn ‘ t hold back a toneless sigh, when he sensed Tony stiffen and slowly but inevitably pull away, taking one step forward and turning to face him.
Jacks sight dropped to the ground, unable to meet these velvet eyes glistening with the water filling them, like the darkest ebony.
“I’m sorry Jack,” Tony whispered hoarsely. “I can ‘ t touch you anymore. It ‘ s... .”
“I understand,” Jack answered, his voice breaking.
“No, you don ‘ t,” Tony replied and added even lower. “I fear, you don ‘ t.”
He scratched his cheek, rubbed his forehead before he found the strength to continue.
“It ‘ s not... . It has nothing to do with you or... .”
He glanced outside the large windows. “I mean, it has something to do with what happened and I ‘ m not sure, ... if I ever will be able to... .”
Tony stopped, moving uncomfortably away.
“But mainly it ‘ s all about Michelle. I... I don ‘ t want to deceive her anymore... she is doing so much to support me, she is so completely sticking to my side, I... I ‘ d never hoped that one day a woman would feel that way for me, especially after what... after the events in prison.”
he tried to look back at Jack and added nearly apologizing, “She ‘ s amazing, I ‘ d never thought... .”
Jack concentrated on the pattern on the floor, focused on the one grey place in his mind, which allowed him to retreat, to put an impediment between his outer appearance and his emotions as long as ever necessary, as long as it lasted until he could find a possibility to be alone and let go.
“She is, Tony! And you ‘ re doing right,” he responded.
“I ‘ m sure you both will make it. Tell Michelle I regret, that I had to go early, but I ‘ ll see her soon at work and... .”
He raised his head, found his eyes locked with the intense glance of the tall, dark haired man, creating a bond nobody ever would be able to destroy.”
He needed everything he owned to break loose.
“It ‘ s okay,” he whispered. “Take care of yourself, Tony! And call me whenever... you know?”
Without changing another look, he hurried to the door, closing it quickly behind him and managed to walk, not to run to his car, which waited for him patiently to bring him, where he ‘ d longed to be.
* * * * *
The bell rang but no one answered.
Chase waited and knocked again, even more forceful than before.
“Jack! Damnit, open! CTU called Kim, you ‘ re needed back, earlier.”
“Silence! What ‘ s the noise here all the time?”
The voice came from above.
Chase sighed and kicked the door open. He gritted his teeth, when he paced hastily through the dark rooms, empty as he had expected them to be.
No messages, no sign of a presence. Cleaned up except the half full cup of cold coffee, and the broken glass on the floor.
An open bottle of Whiskey stood on the table and spread ist penetrating scent through the sticky air.
* * * * *
“What do you want?”
“A friend of mine... he promised to provide me with something which could help me against the pain.”
Chase raised his bandaged arm. “It hurts awful and he... but now I haven ‘ t seen him for days and the doctor said I ‘ ve had enough. He has no idea what I have to endure.”
He stepped nervously from one foot to another, met the amused smile coming from the man who had opened him, and continued encouraged.
“I ‘ ve heard him mention this part of the town, and ... and... looked around a bit. Sorry, if I ‘ m wrong.”
“What ‘ s the name of your friend?”
“Jack.”
“Uhuh, and you are?”
“Call me Chase.”
“Well, might be, that you are lucky tonight, Chase. Looks like you will find both here, something to get rid of your pain, to feel really better, and maybe your friend too. So, can you pay?”
“Anything you want, if only it will help!”
“Then come in and take a look, maybe try something!”
Chase looked at the grinning guy, his insecurity obvious. “ I ‘ d wish to, but I have to drive and my wife has guests tonight, I shouldn ‘ t disgrace her again, you know... her parents will come and... .“
He watched the dealer, who nodded understandingly, opened some bags and drawers.
“We have the usual pain killers, and something stronger... as strong as you like it.”
Chase threw a yearning glance over the table.
“Something that will be effective real quickly, please.”
He fumbled with his one hand clumsily in his pocket, emptied it at last asking: “What can I get for this?”
The man smirked and looked at him.
“Ok, boy! I ‘ ll give you a nice start. These ones will help, when you hurt, no matter where or why, and these few you can see as a present. Try them, when you wish to fly away.”
“Thanks, man!”
“You ‘ re welcome, and whenever you need something, I ‘ ll be there.”
Chase smiled back and turned to go.
“Hey boy, you wanna take a look at your friend? He ‘ s in some kind of state. I mean... honestly... .” He looked apologizing at Chase. “This place here is meant to be a possibility to retreat, but sometimes I need my clients to leave, go to work, make some money... you know? There are buildings in the neighbourhood, where nobody would look at you, but I have to watch this one, at least a little.”
“Sure!” Chase nodded, fighting the urge to show his disgust. “Where... ?”
“Upstairs, last room, right side. Yesterday he ‘ d been there.”
“Thanks again!”
Chase tried hard to walk slowly, to avoid hurrying too conspicuously. He was certain, that he ‘ d seen this place before. Maybe with Jack on a mission. But then, these places all looked the same.
And he found him at once, after he had searched the streets for hours, after he had followed every lead, he had discovered in Jacks home, he finally found him as if he was suddenly pulled forward by some strange force, found him there in the darkness, in that dirty room, half sitting, half lying on that old, filthy mattress in a corner, eyes wide open, staring at something only he could see.
“Jack!” Chase called him softly and kneeled down beside him. “Time to go now! Come with me!”
He laid his arm around Jacks waist and lifted the slim figure easily up, pulled Jacks arm around his neck and maneuvered him without any effort out of the room.
He stopped, when he noticed the presence of the haggard woman hiding in the shadows, who seemed to stare at them, but after he ‘ d noticed that she wasn ‘ t aware of her surroundings, he went on, setting up the pace until he rushed outside the building halfway carrying the smaller man.
Jack had curled up on the backseat, while Chase was driving like a mad man, unsure about what to do next.
Bringing him to a hospital, to some place with medical support would be the best solution for sure, but he could tell, that Jack wouldn ‘ t forgive him, if he ‘ d make his problem public, especially after he ‘ d absolved the methadon program apparently successful, not such a long time ago. A relapse would destroy his career forever, even Chase himself couldn ‘ t think about an explanation serving as a plausible apology.
And Jack wasn ‘ t ready for this, hell, he ‘ d tried everything to conceal his addiction as long as possible.
Chase felt helpless, unsure about the next step.
If he planned to help him properly, he should act in his best interest. Maybe, being forced to leave CTU would be for his best, but Jack had to make the decision on his own.
Chase parked the car, a street away from Jacks apartment, glad to be able to use the late hour to bring him upstairs without being noticed.
“What are you doing, Chase?” Jack murmured while he was forced to sit down on the couch, where he immediately sank back and closed his eyes.
“You ‘ re taken too much.” Chase answered, though he knew that Jack wouldn ‘ t hear him anymore.
“I ‘ ll help you and this time I won ‘ t ask for your permission.”
* * * * *
Chase got rid of the fragments and the Whiskey before he prepared the bedroom and went through the cupboards, finding the grey sweater and trousers he ‘ d seen on Jack days before.
Jack didn ` t cared, when he changed his clothes and made him lie down.
Chase closed the bedroom door from the outside and stood still for a moment, leaning against it. Would it be possible, that Tony could help him here? The special connection between these two men, was more evident to him than ever before, but he wouldn ‘ t exclude, that Jacks breaking down could be connected with Tonys reserved behaviour. When he had asked him about Jacks whereabouts, Tony wasn ‘ t able to help him and had ended the conversation real quickly. Somehow he seemed to be sick, too, and Chase wondered, if one of them would tell him one day, what had happened in prison or even what their relationship meant to them.
He took a step forward, started to look for the phone. When he ‘ d found it, he called CTU at first, explained after a short period of consideration, that Jack had caught the flu and won ‘ t be able to return soon.
Then he sat down and thought about a way to tell Kim.
In the morning he had spoken to her and she already had been pissed off being left alone with Angela again for the whole day.
How could he tell her, that he probably wouldn ‘ t come home tonight and had no idea when he would. And what was he supposed to do here? He had no experience, no medical support... , though ... some kind of experience he had.
He dialed a number in Washington.
“Sharon? It ‘ s Chase. I need your help. It ‘ s a little difficult to explain. I... can you give me the name of the doctor, you had visited that time?”
“Sure, no problem. Chase?” She paused.
“Are you in trouble?”
“No, it ‘ s not about me. I... I ‘ d wish to help a friend without going the official way, it should remain private, you know?”
“I see, but you should be aware, that sooner or later it will turn out better to open up, can tell you.”
“I know,” he answered low. “It ‘ s just... I can ‘ t... .”
“Chase?”
“Yeah!”
“It ‘ s about Jack, am I right?”
He remained silent for a while. “Why do you think so?”
She shrugged and waved to Jasmin, who ‘ d just entered their living room.
“It ‘ s simply a feeling. Might be, that it ‘ s easier to recognize for someone who ‘ d gone through the same mess.”
“Sharon. It has to remain a secret.”
“I ‘ ll give you the adress. And if I can do anything more, then let me know.”
“Thanks Sharon. There is something. I need you to talk to Kim, to find an explanation, why I ‘ ll stay away from home for some days.”
He got no answer at first.
“Sharon?”
She sighed. “Chase! Do you know, what you ‘ re planning to do? Besides, I ‘ m not sure, if I can accept the way you want to treat Kim... and Angela. It ‘ s not fair to lie to them.”
She waited a moment before she continued. “I mean, they are your family and deserve to know what ‘ s going on.”
“Sharon, it ‘ s far more complicated than you can imagine.”
“It always is, Chase.” She sighed audibly.
“Ok, I ‘ ll do it, for Angelas peace, but you promise to clear things. You know, that a child senses more than you would assume.”
“Thanks again, Sharon, especially for your care for Angela.”
“It ‘ s a pleasure, you know how much we love her. So, I ‘ ll make something up for Kim, that we need you here, maybe some family stuff, and I ‘ ll ask her if she needs help with the kid, alright? .... Wait a moment, Jasmin is looking for number and adress of Dr. White.”
Chase sighed relieved. With Sharons help things were looking a little brighter now.
* * * * *
Jack shivered, his eyelids fluttered, his head tossed from one side to another before he came close to consciousness.
“Jack? You ‘ re awake now?”
The man glanced at Chase for a moment, before he turned away.
A dry cough shook him and he managed to sit up, accepting the glass of water Chase offered him, drank even more to avoid looking at him.
“I don ‘ t feel very good, Chase. Would you leave me alone for a moment?”
Chase remained motionless.
“I ‘ ve searched the place, Jack. You won ‘ t find any drugs here in.”
Jack smiled bitterly. “You think, that would help?”
“No,” Chase shook his head. “I know, that I can ‘ t prevent you from doing what you think you have to, but I want to show you an alternative.”
“Chase?” Jack breathed heavily.”Sorry, but I have to get up.”
Chase helped Jack into the bathroom, where he stood a moment dry heaving over the sink, but soon regained control again. Paler than before but less wavering he returned, paused a moment in front of the bedroom, changed his mind and sat down on the couch, watching the surroundings with tired eyes.
Chase had let fresh air and sunlight in, the open kitchen closet showed countless tins of soup and a supply of tea and water.
“Oh boy!” Jack shook his head. “Who do you think you are?”
He bent forward, buried his head in his arms. His voice sounded muffled, when he went on.
“I won ‘ t do this, already had. And what the fuck.... .” He looked up. “How had you found me, for God ’ s sake?”
“You forgot my profession, Jack. I wanted to find you and I did. And I want you to stop this bullshit and I know, that you want it, too.”
“You have no idea!”
“Keep telling me this. Fact is I ‘ ve seen more, than you might think. And believe it or not, my will is strong, sometimes even stronger than yours. We ‘ ll go through this together and whatever you will decide, when you ‘ re clean again, I ‘ ll accept it. But now it ‘ s me, who is in charge.”
Jack clutched his stomach, suppressing the urge to choke. “Chase!” His eyes went foggy. “How long have I slept?”
He leant back, pulling his knees up, for the first time noticing the change of his clothes. He sighed.
“You ‘ ve been too long in hospital, try to become a nurse yourself.”
“I would do better than you. Kim told me of your attempts to care, when she had been sick as a child.” The first smile twitched over Jacks features. “I ‘ m in lack of the necessary patience.”
“We won ‘ t need much patience here, Jack, cause you ‘ ll be back in the saddle soon.”
“This term should encourage me? Go to hell, Chase!”
He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, while he twisted. “I need something, now!” He spoke with still closed eyes. “Tell me where it is or I ‘ ll beat the shit out of you, that ‘ s no lie, I swear.”
“I know!”
Chase stood up, opened a drawer, withdrew what he needed. We know, that Methadon isn ‘ t the perfect solution and I certainly won ‘ t make you go cold turkey. But my cousin... ,” he prepared the syringe carefully, laid it on the table, while adjusting everything else with unbearable slow, but skilful movements. “My cousin became clean for the first time with the help of Dr. White. I talked to her earlier, reported about your past, your heart attacks... .”
Jacks eyes grew wide, though they still were hypnotized by Chases actions.
Chase looked up, nearly amused. “She is helping people who aren ‘ t ready to open up. Your secret is safe with her. Sharon also wanted nobody to know, but changed her mind later, when she tried to make her life easier.”
“Chase, please... ! Give it to me!”
“Dr. White instructed me, so I ‘ ll do it. And when you feel better, we ‘ ll visit her and she ‘ ll provide us with medication, that will help you for the next days. Trust me in this, and I ‘ ll trust you in the future.”
“I ‘ ll trust you,” Jack whispered and rolled his too long, too wide sleeve up. “Just do it now!”