Axial Tilt

[take the poll on LJ]

( rambling on why I am asking this question )

*

Yesterday went well, but even though I got a full night's sleep, I am still exhausted. I was so tempted to call in sick today and just sleep. SLEEP. Sigh.

I dreamt that the BAU had opened a shoe store down in the Bowling Green subway station, and I bought a pair of very cute slingbacks with kitten heels from Reid. Apparently, all that profiling knowledge is also good for picking out the exact pair of shoes for people, shoes they don't even know they want until they see them!

My brain, you guys. I don't even know.

*

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Have a poem:

Tide of Voices

At the hour the streetlights come on, buildings
turn abstract. The Hudson, for a moment, formal.
We drink bourbon on the terrace and you speak
in the evening voice, weighted deep in the throat.

They plan to harvest oysters, you tell me,
from the harbor by Jersey City, how the waters
will be clean again in twenty years. I imagine nets
burdened with rough shells, the meat dun and sexual.

Below, the river and the high rock
where boys each year jump from bravado
or desperation. The day flares, turns into itself.
And innocently, sideways, the way we always fall

into grace or knowledge, we watched the police
drag the river for a suicide, the third this year.
The terrible hook, the boy's frail whiteness.
His face was blank and new as your face

in the morning before the day has worked
its pattern of lines and tensions. A hook
like an iron question and this coming
out of the waters, a flawed pearl —

a memory that wasn't ours to claim.
Perhaps, in a bedroom by lamplight,
a woman waits for this boy. She may riffle drawers
gathering photographs, string, keys to abandoned rooms.

Even now she may be leaving,
closing the door for some silence. I need
to move next to you. Water sluiced
from the boy's hair. I need to watch you

light your cigarette, the flickering
of your face in matchlight, as if underwater,
drifting away. I take your cigarette
and drag from it, touch your hand.

Remember that winter of your long fever,
the winter we understood how fragile
any being together was. The wall sweated
behind the headboard and you said you felt

the rim where dreams crouch
and every room of the past. It must begin in luxury —
do you think — a break and fall into the glamour
attending each kind of surrender. Water must flood

the mind, as in certain diseases, the walls
between the cells of memory dissolve, blur
into a single stream of voices and faces.
I don't know any more about this river or if

it can be cleaned of its tender and broken histories —
a tide of voices. And this is how the dead
rise to us, transformed: wet and singing,
the tide of voices pearling in our hands.

~Lynda Hull

***

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So, we had a committee meeting today, and I swear to god, I thought someone was going to start throwing things. Writing the minutes up should be an interesting exercise in doublespeak. Board meeting tomorrow, and then I am done, DONE I TELL YOU, until January. I mean, I still have to work etc., but the craziness should abate. I hope. I am tired. And it makes it really hard for me to write. Witness the tiny writing round-up!

November 2009 Writing Roundup

swim in my blood when it's warm
Supernatural; Sam/Dean; pg; spoilers through 5.04; 3,434 words
Sam's seeing everything clearly now.

your ears tuned to the roar
Supernatural; Jo, Ellen; pg; spoilers through 5.10; 1,510 words
In which Jo grows up.

*

Top 5 Songs - November 2009

6. Levon - Elton John

5. Song to the Siren - Sheila Chandra

4. Set the Story Straight - Tom McRae

3. Somebody to Love - Glee cast version

2. The Shape I Found You In - Girlyman

1. Psalms 40:2 - the Mountain Goats

*

BSG folk, you totally need to watch this vid about the frakked up relationship between Bill Adama and Starbuck: Like My Very Own Blood by jarrow. It's FANTASTIC. Creepy and utterly heartbreaking and just... takes the idea that Adama made Starbuck into his second son, his replacement for Zak, to its logical conclusion, including the damage it inflicts on her, him, and Lee. And of course Kara accepts it, clings to it - how does she know any better? *cuddles her* Really well done, and you know how bad I am at getting vids, but this one made total sense to me.

*

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Dear Sam,

I am trying to get you laid. It would be easier if you weren't such an angsty motherfucker. Stop being so difficult! It's sex! It's supposed to be fun! No wonder most of the porn I write is about Dean. He rarely gives me this kind of trouble. Why can't you be more like your brother?

frustratedly,

me

PS: Yes, I understand everyone you sleep with dies. I...am not breaking that streak. Um, sorry? I blame canon. Still, though. Sex! You should be less angsty about it!

***

Holy shit, Jane Lynch is doing commercials for X-Box in which she is in character as Sue Sylvester. And they sing "Carry On Wayward Son." And the mother is a fan of Greco-Roman wrestling (i.e., oiled half-naked men getting sweaty together).

I feel like this is some kind of crazy fannish collision. I am amused.

***

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Writing is hard.

So I updated unfitforsociety instead, with 15 recs for November 2009:

* 3 Supernatural
* 3 crossovers
* 2 White Collar
* 2 Harry Potter
* 2 Star Trek Reboot
* 1 each Big Bang Theory, Dark Angel, and Psych

***

Every time I listen to the Black Keys, I wonder why they haven't been used on SPN yet (if they were, I missed it). Dean could shock Sam by listening to something that was produced after 1979, but that still sounds like it came from the early '70s. Heh.

***

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The uploading continues apace. I am almost ready to stop for the evening and maybe try to write. Or something. I miss writing. It's been days since I did any. Sigh.

I was uploading a lot of the codas I wrote in season 2, when I was still in the first flush of fandom love, and wow, season 2 was good for codas. I think I wrote at least one (sometimes more than one) for almost every episode. I miss that, too.

*

Tonight for dinner I made a roast loin of pork. It was very tasty. I combined garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, and basil in about a tablespoon of olive oil (for easy spreading), along with a couple of teaspoons of brown sugar and a large splash of vanilla (for years, I wouldn't tell my mother about the brown sugar and vanilla, and she couldn't replicate the taste. Heh.). Rub that on, top with a few pats of butter, and then cook until the internal temperature is 160°F. It was very tasty and juicy and good.

*

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I don't really care about so much about the plots on White Collar. They just keep giving me tasty OT3 stuff and I'm content.

I've spent most of the day uploading stuff to the AO3. It allows me to feel productive when I can't write. I have too many goddamn stories, though. angelgazing pointed out that I will never be done uploading because I write faster than I upload. Though possibly this is no longer the case. I don't know. I have been having my usual late autumn/early winter problems getting motivated. Since the archive takes so long to upload, I am also rereading some favorite stories (I don't have to pay as close attention to rereads - I can skim and skip and be interrupted without losing anything, 'cause I've already read them before). I keep getting errors, unfortunately, which is slowing things down even more.

Technology is not my friend.

I know lots of people are excited by tagging their stories in all sorts of ways, but I am doing what I find useful and that's it. As long as I get the characters/pairing on there, and maybe if it's a casefile or an episode tag, that's about the extent of my interest. Maybe if I upload my HP stuff, I'll split the Remus/Sirius out by era, like I have it in my tags on LJ, but mostly I don't care about the tags. *hides*

Also, I wish there were a place in the profile to link to a warnings policy, and that that link could just automatically be included on every story. Because I am just using the "No Primary Warnings Apply" which isn't the same as "no warnings needed" but 99% of my stuff is "no warnings needed" and I'd like to be able to say that somewhere, since it isn't a choice on the warnings field. I guess I could make it a tag, but I never think of it. I wish it were automatic.

Hmm...

***

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Happy Thanksgiving to those who are celebrating! Happy Thursday to those who are not. I hope everyone had a lovely day, regardless.

My day began with BACON and PIE and ended with FOOTBALL and PIE, and in between there was stuffing and homemade cheese macaroni and turkey that was actually moist and tasty (!!), and more family shenanigans than you could shake a stick at. My brother was in rare form tonight, and basically had the whole table in stitches for most of the meal. Mostly at my expense, but eh, that's not new. and unfortunately, the Giants are capping off the day by sucking like unto a hoover, but I am too full and sleepy to care too much.

I am thankful for my family, my friends - including you guys - my health, and my job. Man, a year ago at this time, I was a week away from being laid off. I'm still a little freaked out by how that went, still anxious and lacking in confidence sometimes, but I'm so glad I found a new job quickly, and one that I mostly like, for people and an organization that I like. (I'm also grateful that I have tomorrow off and I don't have to use a day - it's one of our holidays. Mmm...sleeping in...) I'm grateful I have health insurance and can pay my rent and that I have an apartment I love.

I'm thankful for fandom, not just because of all the great stories to read and the feeling of having people who get my excitement about various shows and characters, but because of all the great people I've met and become friends with, who've made my life richer and better and more fun all around.

*hugs*

And also, I am thankful for PIE, and I would share some with you all if I could.

***

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Criminal Minds

( spoilers )

***

Maybe I will try to write. I would like to post one more story this month, if possible, before I buckle down on yuletide and broken toys.

***

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So I have this thing where I reverse numbers all the time, e.g., I usually have to redial new to me phone numbers two or three times because I switch the order of the numbers, etc.

NOTE TO SELF: NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE DYSLEXIC WITH ROMAN NUMERALS!


***

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For tonight's bout of stress baking, I made blueberry boy bait (as recommended by devildoll), which came out well, I think (I am taking half to work and half to the parents), but I also think it needs more blueberries. Clearly I need to double the amount next time. And possibly make it in cupcake tins or my mini-loaf pan. Hmm...

Maybe one day I'll be like a real food blogger and remember to take pictures of stuff before I slice into it and wrap it up. Today was not that day.

On my ride home tonight (I was at work late again), I listened to Adam Raised a Cain a few times and vidded it in my head. I would be the most literal vidder ever. Anyway. I know I say this all the time, but where is the Sam Winchester vid to this song? WHERE IS IT? I think this season has provided more awesome footage for someone to do this.

( the lyrics, in case you missed them the first 100 times I mentioned this idea )

Seriously, if I had minions, I would make one of them vid this for me.

***

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some days, the bear definitely eats you.

favorite repeated typos of today:

RPF for RFP
partners hips for partnerships

***

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Big Bang Theory

( spoilers )

***

Castle

I don't think I like Beckett's hair. It's too...helmety. Or something.

( spoilers )

*happy sigh*

Castle is my happy place.

Now I need to sleep because I have to be in early tomorrow for meetings. Ugh.

***

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your ears tuned to the roar
Supernatural; Jo, Ellen; pg; spoilers through 5.10; 1,510 words
In which Jo grows up.

Thanks to angelgazing for handholding and title-wrangling.

( your ears tuned to the roar )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

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1. Only sesame seed bagels left, and no cream cheese. My life, ladies and gentlemen.

2. Ate a bowl of Oreos for breakfast.

3. There’s a coffee ring stain on my X-men. I know I accidentally burned down Dad’s office, but a man’s comics are sacred.

4. Ryan kissed me to shut me up. Twice. (!!!)

5. Did a Samuel L. Jackson impression under my breath. Was sharing my bucket of popcorn, extra butter, with Ryan, when our shoulders bumped together. It was nice; not Summer-in-a-Wonder-Woman-outfit nice, but getting there.

6. Make out Share kisses with Ryan at the poolhouse.

---

Remix of theswearingkind's Sam Jackson Ain't Got Nothing on These Two (f-locked) for remixthedrabble. I haven't actually watched the episode on which #3 is based. One day I'll probably finish watching the O.C. Maybe. If only for more of Seth Cohen's wordvomit.

[ LJ | IJ | DW ]

Title: In The Rhythm Of Loving You
By: Bridget McKennitt
Pairing: RPS - Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1297
Challenge: supernatural100's prompt spring
Contains: No warnings in as far I know that can't be extrapolated from the header itself. Cheerleader!Jensen, Geek!Jared
Disclaimer: Any real person, location, or organization mentioned in the story below own themselves. This is only a fictional story meant for entertainment and not intended for profit or believing the real people mentioned are like this in real life.
Author's Notes: Set a few days after Jared proposes to Jensen. Part of the Moving At Lightspeed Into Eternity verse. Masterpost with chronological order here.

In The Rhythm Of Loving You

Sigh. My cake didn't rise, and worse, it tastes like failure.

*crosses that recipe off the list*

On the upside, there was reviewing of yuletide source. Now I just have to figure out what I'm writing.

***

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Okay, this is the plan for hiatus:

1. yuletide
2. Broken Toys
3. the 5.10 story I'm working on right now (I keep having to stop because it's making me cry! That never happens to me when I write!)
4. The Dean-Michael dream story
5. Drought Conditions (casefile)
6. Nothing but Winter in my Cup (casefile)
7. the Dean/Sam/Pam story

That's quite a lot, considering November and December are usually the time of my fannish malaise.

This song is not helping with the crying, iTunes!

Now, though, I think I am going to bake a cake.

***

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Oy, this day. Or, well, yesterday, at this point. The less said, the better. And did I mention I got my period this morning? oy.

I left work late - I think I was the only person left in the office - and all I wanted was to come home and watch this week's Friday Night Lights. But the file I dl'd wouldn't play on WMP or QT or even VLC. I updated DivX and it wouldn't play on that either. So I deleted it, rebooted, and redownloaded, and it worked.

I thought I might actually get through the episode without crying. I don't know why I thought that. I don't think it's ever happened, and it certainly did not happen tonight.

Friday Night Lights: A Sort of Homecoming

( spoilers )

***

Okay, I just asked this in meret's comments, but ( spoilers for SPN s5 that's aired so far )

***

*yawn*

Man, I totally need to sleep.

***

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Supernatural: Abandon All Hope

Okay, so I tried to do a rant section and a non-rant section of this post, but the ranty stuff kept intruding. So while I really liked many aspects of this episode, the rage kept intruding. Just so you know.

( spoilers )

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