Fic: Makka na Ito, Hikaru no Go, for oneangrykate
Title: Makka na Ito (Deep Red Thread)
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Characters: Shindou Hikaru, Touya Akira, Waya Yoshitaka
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters and universe presented in this story belong to Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata.
Notes: For oneangrykate, who likes "witty, thoughtful gen" with "hints of pairings." I can't vouch for witty or thoughtful, but I did try for gen with a hint of a pairing. I've spent the last, oh, month or so weirdly obsessed with this one moment in chapter 182, where Hikaru has just been made first board against Korea in the Hokuto Cup, and Touya is dying to ask him why the hell he is so hung up on Shuusaku, but stops himself at the last moment, remembering Hikaru's almost-promise to tell him about Sai one day. Anyway, this fic was born from that obsession. And possibly Ko Yongha's stupid hair. Many thanks to glossing for the last-minute beta, and for helping me not to leap from a cliff while writing this. Title borrowed from Plastic Tree. Thought process behind title inspired by too much xxxHolic.


Makka na Ito


"Hey, we're starting the round robin tournament next week. Can you play Saturday?" Waya asked, placing his stone with a resounding clack.

Hikaru responded immediately with his next stone, earning a glare from Waya, and shrugged. "Sure, I think so."

"Oh, wait, not next week, right?" Nase piped up from somewhere behind Hikaru.

"Why not?" Waya asked.

"Touya's game," Isumi said, nudging Waya lightly with his elbow. Ochi scowled so intensely it almost made a noise.

"Oh, right." Waya smirked. "I'll put you on the week after, Shindou." He played his next stone.

Hikaru snorted. "What are you smoking? Touya doesn't have a match next Saturday."

Waya stared. "What are you smoking?" He raised his eyebrows. "Touya and Ko Yongha? Seriously, Shindou, you're the last person I expected to forget about that."

Hikaru felt a weird chill run through him and a heavy pounding in his chest. "Oh. Right," he said, forcing out a laugh. "Ha ha. How could I forget?" He placed the stone in his hand randomly on the board. Ochi's scowl had turned into some kind of smile, which was possibly the creepiest thing Hikaru had ever seen.

Waya looked at the stone and back up at Hikaru, "Dude, you are going down."

Hikaru glanced back at the board, the back of his brain automatically calculating his comeback, while the front of his brain seemed to be completely lost and just the slightest bit dizzy. His cheeks were burning, and he wasn't sure what was happening, but it felt seriously weird, and he was pretty sure he didn't want it to be happening in front of Waya's entire study group, especially Ochi, who was eyeing him like his next meal. Hikaru laughed again, running his hand over his hair. "Ah, ha ha, you're gonna kill me, but I just remembered I have to go."

"You're forfeiting?" Waya quirked an eyebrow.

Hikaru couldn't seem to stop laughing, though it was turning into this kind of fast, choppy thing that didn't sound like him at all. "Yeah, sorry, ha ha, I'll make it up next time!"

"Shindou--" Waya was giving Hikaru a look he could not decipher and was pretty sure he didn't want to. All in all, it seemed like a really good time to leave, so he grabbed up his backpack and headed for the door, knocking Kadowaki in the shoulder with his backpack on the way.

"Oops, sorry!" he shouted in Kadowaki's general direction on his way out the door, and then to the room in general, "See you!"

*****

Not that being outside was making him feel any better. Hikaru stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes, trying to make his brain stop doing whatever the hell it was doing, which he eventually gave up on in favor of simply walking to the subway so that he could sit down. The train was empty for a Saturday afternoon, and he let his stop and a few more go by, before he transferred to another, much more crowded train going back the other way. When he finally got off near home, he realized he wasn't really ready to be there yet, so he took a walk past his old middle school and ended up sitting on a park bench for a couple of hours avoiding his thoughts by watching a couple of old men play shougi. He shook his head when he was asked if he played, and left in the middle of a lecture about how young people these days were too caught up in video games to understand the classics.

After that, there was nowhere to go but home. Hikaru's mom met him inside the door, with that timid-worried look she'd taken on pretty constantly since he'd started playing Go.

"Hikaru, you look tired! Have you had dinner?" She reached out to touch his arm as he ran up the stairs, but just missed him.

"Yeah, mom, I'm fine, I'm going to bed," he said, slamming the bedroom door behind him, which he regretted almost immediately as he flopped onto the bed and his stomach reminded him that he hadn't actually eaten since breakfast, but he couldn't bear to think about the questions he'd be asked if he went back down there now.

It turned out, though, that going to bed was the worst idea ever, since he was stuck there with his traitorous brain, which kept flashing him images of Touya, eyes all dark and intense, sitting at the goban facing stupid Ko Yongha and his stupid, stupid hair.

Going to bed was a really bad idea.

"Bye, mom, I'm going out for a while!" Hikaru shouted as he ran back down the stairs, and out the door.

"But Hikaru, you just came home! It's late, Hikaru!" his mom said, running from the kitchen. "Hikaru!" she called after him, but of course he kept on going. It wasn't like he was going to talk to his mom about Ko Yongha's stupid hair.

Once he got outside, his stomach reminded him that he was still hungry. He thought a little wistfully of his mom's wakame udon, which he'd smelled on his way out, but then he remembered that the ramen shop near Waya's was open late, so he got back on the subway, where he spaced out and missed his stop again. Luckily the next stop was close enough to walk from. He was starving by the time he got to the ramen place, and ordered up a large bowl, but only got about halfway through before his brain started showing him the hair again, so he took the rest to go and went back outside.

Since he was in the neighborhood, he figured he might as well go back to Waya's.

*****

"It's almost eleven." Waya said, when he opened the door.

"Ah, yeah, I was just having dinner nearby, so I figured we could finish our game? I've got ramen, " Hikaru said, holding up the take-out container in his hand. "Oh, uh, were you sleeping?" He scratched his head.

Waya rolled his eyes. "No," he said, opening the door wider. "Come in." He raised his eyebrows at Hikaru. "You really want to finish?"

"Yeah, of course," Hikaru said, heading for the goban, dropping the container of ramen on the table on his way.

"I'm not letting you take back that last hand," Waya said as he sat down across from him.

"I don't need to take that back!" Hikaru yelled. "I won't lose from one move!"

"Well, I'm not weak enough to let you get away with it!" Waya replied, shaking his fist.

They set up the game quickly, and Waya immediately began taking advantage of Hikaru's disastrous last hand, not that Hikaru was worried. Apparently, even in the midst of a total mental breakdown, his brain could still think about Go.

They played pretty quietly for a while, and then, out of the blue, just as Hikaru was about to place the stone that would turn his game around, Waya asked, "Did you seriously not know?"

Hikaru dropped the stone.

"What are you talking about?" Hikaru said, in what he hoped was a casual tone, but his voice sounded kind of high and weird, and he shivered a little as he wondered whether the laughing was going to start again.

Waya sighed. "What do you think?"

"I really don't--" Hikaru protested.

"Shindou. Quit it," Waya interrupted.

Waya was glaring at him in that unmistakable Waya kind of way, and Hikaru felt whatever was holding his mental state together just completely give up. He let out a huge breath and let his gaze drop away from Waya's steady glare. "He didn't tell me," he said. "We just played yesterday." He looked back up at Waya. "He didn't tell me."

"Is that really so weird? Does he tell you everything?" Waya rolled his eyes, not waiting for a response. "You guys are total freaks."

"Shut up! It's not weird," Hikaru said. "I just thought he would've mentioned it." He puffed up a little. "After all, I've played Ko Yongha, I could give him some tips."

"Tips," Waya repeated, looking unimpressed.

Hikaru nodded. "I know his weaknesses. Really, Touya's an idiot for not telling me about it."

"Well, now you know. You've got a whole week," Waya said with a snort. "I'm sure he's pale with terror, waiting for your tips."

"Are you kidding? I'm not going to help that idiot!" Hikaru shouted, "Not if he can't even be bothered to tell me when he's having a match!" Then Waya's last sentence finally registered. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, forget it, Shindou, this is stupid." Waya crossed his arms and leaned away from the goban.

"What's stupid?" Hikaru asked, starting to wish he'd decided to talk to his mom after all.

"The thing is, I kind of know you," Waya said.

"Huh?" Hikaru said.

Waya sighed. "I know why you're mad that Touya didn't tell you." When Hikaru didn't respond, he went on. "I know you're upset that he's having the match in the first place." Hikaru stared blankly, and Waya sighed again. "I know if you don't go talk to that freak, I'm going to have to watch you mope around like a girl for the next year, so just go do it already!"

"What?" Hikaru sputtered, "You--" He frowned. "But we haven't finished our game! Again!"

"Just go," Waya said, gesturing to the door. "We'll finish on Thursday, after official matches. And you'll bring sushi."

"I'll what?" Hikaru protested. He definitely should have picked his mom. "Fine," he grumbled.

Waya grinned. "Isumi will be here. Better bring enough for him too."

"Fine!" Hikaru said, reaching for the doorknob. "Whatever." He opened the door. "God." Then he frowned and turned back, grabbing up the ramen take-out from the table. "I'm keeping this. And I do not mope like a girl."

*****

The lights were off at the Touya house when he got there, but Hikaru rang the bell anyway, and when nobody answered, he decided to knock as well.

"Touya!" he called out, as loud as he could without worrying about the neighbors.

After about a minute, the door opened a crack. "Shindou?"

"Um, hi," Hikaru said. "Touya?"

The door opened a little further to reveal Touya staring at him with bleary eyes. He was in his pajamas and his hair was mussed.

"Oh, oops," Hikaru said. "Sorry. It's really late."

Touya pulled the door open the rest of the way, and Hikaru slipped off his shoes and stepped inside.

"What are you doing here?" Touya asked. He padded across the room, settling himself down at the goban, graceful and composed in perfect seiza despite the late hour. Hikaru smiled a little at that. Even half-asleep and annoyed, Touya still associated Hikaru's presence with Go.

"Shindou," Touya said.

Hikaru still had his half-eaten ramen take-out in his hands, and he held it before him like a religious offering.

"Well, your parents are gone again, so you probably aren't eating," he said, only peripherally aware of his own embarrassment as he remembered that Touya didn't actually like ramen, and even if he did, he probably wasn't going to eat it in the middle of the night. "And Waya said you looked pale!" Touya frowned at that, and looked like he might be about to protest, so Hikaru hurried on, "And," he swallowed hard, letting the ramen fall to his side, "what the hell are you doing with Ko Yongha?"

Touya sighed, reaching for the goke. "It's not an official game, obviously," he said. "He challenged me. Some of the Korean press has been going on about the fact that he didn't play against me at the Hokuto Cup, so he wanted to prove that he could defeat me. He's flying back for the occasion."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hikaru asked.

Touya's brow crinkled up in that way that always made him look really old. "I thought you might... take it badly."

"What does that mean?" Hikaru said, "I mean, that's just really, really stupid."

"Except you did," Touya said, gently.

That kind of logic was the kind to be ignored.

Hikaru frowned. "Since when do you worry about how I'll take something anyway?"

"This is different," Touya said.

"Why?" Hikaru felt impatience and frustration welling up in him like a five-year-old, and he knew he sounded like one, but he couldn't do anything about it.

Touya's jaw was clenched, like he was struggling to hold something in.

"What?" Hikaru demanded. "What the hell, Touya? It's not like it has anything to do with me!" Which is really the problem, his brain helpfully supplied. Hikaru scowled. "You're not replacing me," he said, scowling further as he realized that despite his best efforts to make that sound like a demand, or at least an accusation, it had come out more like a very sad plea.

"Don't be stupid, Shindou," Touya said, his voice tight and sharp at the edges.

"Well, what is it then?" Hikaru asked, and then he had a horrible thought. "I don't need you to beat him for me or something, if that's what you're thinking."

"No, not you," Touya said. "It's not for you, is it?"

Touya's voice was quiet, his body was completely still, and his eyes were wide open, really open, in a way Hikaru had never actually seen before, and for one crazy moment he thought he saw something sort of tender there, and Touya's face was tilted up at him with those open, open eyes.

"Touya..."

Hikaru felt something catch in his throat, which he hurridly turned into a cough. Touya's eyes flickered away.

"Nigiri," Touya said, his closed hand hovering over the goban.

Hikaru sat down across from him, picked up two black stones from the goke, and placed them softly in front of him.

Touya opened his hand, releasing the cluster of white stones. "You're black," he said.

They played slowly, sleepily, and it reminded Hikaru of some of his late-night games with Sai, only... not better, he thought, just something. Something good. It was a heady mixture of comfort and excitement, a kind of cross between a warm bath and a stomach full of butterflies, and it made Hikaru feel weirdly content and at home in this big, formal house that was nothing at all like his own. The stillness of the room was broken only by the occasional sound of stone on wood, and a couple of times in between, Hikaru caught himself drifting off a little. Images of Ko Yongha's hair had been replaced by Touya's hands over the goban, the long, graceful fingers--so much like Sai's, Hikaru thought--fingers so delicate that the unavoidable calluses of a professional Go player seemed out of place.

"Shindou," Touya broke the silence, shaking Hikaru out of his thoughts. "It's your turn." Touya's voice was steady and perfectly calm, but his face held a trace of something else--not just his usual seriousness, but maybe a question? It reminded Hikaru of something he'd seen there the night before his own game with Ko Yongha.

Hikaru pushed back the giggle that welled up in his chest as he thought of their conversation then. "Since you're taking my place as, um," Hikaru gulped and then grinned. "I won't allow you to have any embarrassing results."

"Shindou!" Touya said, looking offended.

Hikaru laughed. "I'm know, I'm sorry I couldn't help it."

Touya frowned. "I've never played embarrassing Go."

"What about that time at the salon, when you--" Hikaru began.

Touya interrupted, "Your responses were ridiculous! How could I play seriously against that?"

"Touya, I want--" Hikaru was suddenly feeling serious, and he wasn't sure where it was coming from, but considering his day, he decided just to go with it. "I need to defeat him myself."

"You will," Touya said. "Next year."

"Touya..."

Touya's mouth curved into a small smile. "If you can earn first board."

"You think I won't?" Hikaru demanded.

"I think you'll have to play more effectively than you are right now," Touya said, pointing at the board. "What kind of shape is that?"

"That shape is fine!" Hikaru shouted. "I'm killing you with that shape!"

Touya raised his eyebrows. "I hope you don't really think you're killing me."

"Keep playing, you'll see!" Hikaru said. "Give me five hands!"

"I'll give you ten, and you still won't be killing me with that shape!"

Touya's eyes were dark and intense as he faced Hikaru over the goban.

Hikaru smiled.