InsaneJournal

Who: Jane and Thor
Where: Norway
What: Some resentments and anger = no one's sleeping in the same bed tonight
When: A day before the housewarming party

The move back to Tonsburg was faster than Thor had anticipated. For weeks, he’d wondered in his mind how to broach it, and then with one visit from his brother (was he a brother again?), the pieces fell into place and here they were, in the sleepy little town of New Asgard.


By the Norns, did it ever feel good to be back with his people. His language was around him, his culture, his foods …

It gave him a light step to his walk, to feel the salt breeze off of the water onto his beard, to immerse himself in the daily routine of Norway. And on top of that, Jane was with him, even if he still greatly suspected it was with reluctance. Regardless, she was there, and he felt complete if not still a bit guilty that he hadn’t really resumed many duties. Although he’d been invited to council meetings, he’d declined for the time being, stating that he preferred his updates to come directly from Loki or Sif, in order to not make it appear that he was usurping Loki and Val’s rule. He was still painfully aware that the delicate balance was just that - balancing delicately. A decision would have to be made..eventually.

But not today.

Today, he returned from his walk around the village with a basket of goods from some of the village folk. A brand new quilt, some fresh bread and even a bottle of mead -- it truly was good to be home again. Entering the house, he looked around and noted a few things he wanted to repair. It would be harder to do the repairs himself here, as people would more than likely want to jump in and do it for him but he was adamant that this was their home and he wanted to do it himself.

“Jane?” Thor headed to the kitchen, placing things on the table before turning on the ever present coffeepot. “Are you here, my love? I have returned.”

It was not accurate to say that Jane didn’t come to Norway. Thor had a responsibility to be here and their time in New Mexico had never meant to be permanent. In the course of their relationship they were often pulled to different locations, coming and going like a pair of stars dancing around each other on the parabolas of their twin orbits. They had left Tonsberg for a time and now they were called back. No, any reluctance was just because she still felt an outsider. Everyone was kind and she liked them but she felt more like an honored guest than at home. It was easy to be aware of being human.

Jane needed to settle in, start making a home. That meant keeping busy. Jane was sitting on the floor of the spare room, her things that they’d brought over arrayed in heaps and piles around her. Books and equipment and tools arranged her in a semicircle. “Back here,” she called. “Watch where you step.”

Thor looked over the room curiously before assessing the best path. A few careful steps later (and wouldn't Loki be surprised to see how delicate Thor could be if he wanted to be) and he was kneeling down to sit next to Jane.

"We could hire someone to help," he said idly, picking up one of her books before setting it down again. He had never been one for organization and in truth, didn't know how to start it. "Will we be ready in time for the housewarming tomorrow? Or I suppose we simply block off certain rooms. That would work well."

The portal was conveniently already on the first floor, which was where they hoped their guests would stay unless already requested to stay the night. Like Rogers, who would most likely have Barnes with him as well.

He paused for a moment before continuing. "It all feels surreal. Being here. With you."

“”I’ll be done, I’ll be done,” Jane with a determination that suggested she was more willing the situation into existence than accurately summarizing the current situation. She took the book Thor had been looking at and shoved it onto a bookcase.

“What? I’m sorry,” she apologized, turning back to him. “I’m adjusting, I swear.”

Thor watched Jane scurry around for a moment before responding.

"Are you? I know this cannot be easy for you. You have made your feelings very clear regarding your position in my society." As hard as he tried to word it, he knew she'd be annoyed but he had to say it. "You are only here because Loki asked us to. And I am grateful, love, my elskede, that you agreed...but I worry that this will be too much for you." He frowned slightly. "How can I make this transition easier?"

Jane’s mouth formed a line and her eyebrows knit. “Maybe don’t describe it like you dragged me here by my hair? As for my position, we talked about me not being queen. Is that not okay anymore? Has something changed?”

"If it had not been brought up, I highly doubt you would have ever." He responded a tad hotly. "And no, nothing has changed. I cannot force you to be queen no more than you can force me to live a life that is not mine. We will manage and forge our own path, regardless of anything else."

And since they were on the subject…

"My wishes haven't changed though. I want to marry you. I want you to be mine wholly, and done in the ways of my ancestors. This though is impossible and I've accepted it. So please, do not make me sound like a scoundrel, dragging you here against your will when I do nothing but take your thoughts into consideration."

Jane startled back, upsetting a pile of circuit boards, which scattered with a clatter. “Did you just accuse me of being unwilling of making a life with you and then say you want to marry me and you’ve never even proposed before? Are you kidding me?”

"My intentions have never been hidden," he answered angrily. "We have discussed marriage many times. You even spoke with my brother about the logistics of it and you turned down the idea of a crown. How else would I know if we hadn't discussed it?"

Standing up suddenly, he tried to quell the rising anger growing in him. "We have discussed children . Do you think I would want a child with you without ensuring we are wed? I would never dishonour you in that way. Tell me again that I have not told you exactly what it is I want. For I have. Many times. And been turned down because you refuse to be a queen."

“I’m human! Half the people I know have kids without getting married!” Jane really could not have this argument sitting on the floor with Thor and his enormous bulk towering over her. She climbed to her feet and there really wasn’t room for them both and something else Jane couldn’t see toppled over. “You’re just mad I don’t want to be queen. It was never a problem when we were living in New York but now we’re here and it can’t be avoided. Or the way it’s just a reminder you haven’t dealt with your issues about not wanting to be king.”

His issues? Sparks started to show between his fingers and he was finding it hard to not let it seep out.

"I am a king, regardless if I presently wear the crown or not. These are my people and you're wrong. It was an issue in New York and an issue in New Mexico. Why do you think my brother came to visit? When he had never desired to before? Because he wanted to remind me that I was a living a fantasy, one I so dearly do not wish to give up. And still do not wish to give up."

With a shaky hand, he brushed back his hair, the static having made it curl up around his face. "And you know what? Yes. I am mad that you have not even once considered being queen. It has always been an instant no and I have accepted it, even though I have never asked you for anything. Why can't you do this one thing for me?"

“You think I haven’t thought about….you know, never mind.” Jane’s hairs were standing on end and she could smell ozone. They were likely close to a thunder clap and Jane didn’t care. “Why don’t I marry you and be queen of your people like I’m doing you a favor, like lending you my car? Apparently you resent the choice I made and think I’m only here because someone made me. So there’s a reason. And you may be a king,” she ground out between gritted teeth, “but you’re not my king. You don’t choose for me.”

"I have never wanted to rule you," he responded just as angrily. Clouds were slowly starting to amass outside but he paid no attention to it. "I never want to rule you. I simply want some consideration for what I am giving up as well. You think it is easy for me, being here and yet being apart? Knowing I am invited on the council out of respect but not truly having any authority?" He threw up an arm, sparks arcing out and narrowly missing a bookshelf before fizzling out. "My own people aren't even sure of how to address me!"

The light outside the window had darkened and Jane hissed at the arc of sparks. "I never asked you to do that! I've been well enough for a long time, you could have picked it up again and you didn't. Don't put that choice on me, Thor. You don't want to be king but you don't want to lose the way it makes you feel, either. Those are your issues, not mine."

"And I would never have thought this way if you hadn't come into my life," he exclaimed back, his fists clenching. With every pulse, the clouds grew angrier and angrier. "You talk about how we are supposed to be a team, how inclusion is so important to you and yet when I want to include you in my life and my society, you shy away."

His eyes darkened. Water started pouring down, covering the town in a sudden rainstorm.

"Even as you lay dying, you refused to take the medicines offered unless discussed thoroughly with my brother. As if we would trick you or force you into a decision you were unwilling to make. I almost had to watch you die, and I will have to do it again one day. Does that matter? That I live with the knowledge that I will lose you. Irrevocably and inevitably."

Jane might have been able to recognize the fear in Thor's words but she was too angry and there was rain drumming down on the windows now. The air was heavy with humidity and static electricity and felt claustrophobic, trapped between Thor and the various piles of her possessions. There might be a way to say or do the right thing and turn this around but Jane was not perfect. Right now she was just angry.

"You're angry I don't choose things you like. If you want a perfect Asgardian queen for a wife who does what you say, go find Sif."

Thor was stunned into silence at Jane’s words. This wasn’t the first time she’d brought up Sif in this context, but he’d thought they’d settled the matter at Loki’s wedding. Clearly not...and it maddened him.

A cold look came across his face, the only look he could possibly handle and keep his anger (barely) in check. He was practically vibrating.

“After everything we’ve gone through, everything I’ve said and done, how could you possibly think this, all this, was about wanting a perfect Asgardian? Or Sif, for that matter? How many times must I tell you that this jealousy is unwarranted and frankly, insulting. I have done nothing to make you believe this and yet you cling to it.”

His eyes narrowed, flashes dancing in the yellow of his eyes.

“So fine. Believe whatever you want. Think the worst of me. Go ahead. What else do you wish to accuse me of?"

They were in close quarters and Thor was starting to spark. Jane had never been afraid and still wasn't, even though a misplaced bolt of electricity could stop her heart. She moved to put a little more space between them and bumped into more of her equipment, letting out an angry frustrated grunt. Whatever else she could say didn't matter, Jane just wanted Thor out of this room.

"Look, I have a lot of work to do before tomorrow," she snapped. "Why don't you go somewhere until you can get the weather under control? It's going to take me forever to get through all this. I'll be up late, I'll just sleep in a guest room when I'm finished."

“Far be it from me to dictate your schedule or where you should rest,” Thor retorted back. “I am more than comfortable sleeping wherever, so please, do not do anything on my account.” He almost told Jane to enjoy the comforts of her Asgardian home, but even he knew that would cause more problems than he wanted to resolve at this moment.

Instead he simply stalked off, fists clenched, and storm clouds thoroughly brewing in the village. He had no desire to sleep in the house at the moment, and would probably find refuge somewhere else … not Loki’s. He didn’t need to get into this with his brother. And absolutely not Sif’s. That would cause another argument.

Regardless. He’d find somewhere.