InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Eat my shorts!"

shannon730 (shannon730) wrote in ats_btvs_fanfic,
@ 2007-07-25 15:27:00

Entry tags:

author: shannon730, willow

Drabble: Tired (Willow)
Fandom: BTVS
Title: Tired
Author: Shannon
Theme(s): 01. Alone
Pairing/Characters: Willow
Rating: G
Disclaimer/claimer: Not mine, they belong to Joss Whedon, ME, UPN, FOX, WB
Summary: Willow is tired of feeling alone

She was tired of feeling alone. Tired of not feeling needed. Tired of not feeling like she was doing something to help someone. She’d told both Buffy and Xander about her feelings but they didn’t understand. She was needed, they’d told her. She wasn’t alone, she had Kennedy, and they were always just a phone call away. Xander had even pointed out that there were over a hundred slayers living in dorms in her backyard.

They were right, of course, Kennedy and the new slayers were here, and she was needed to train the new girls but she still felt alone. Having people around didn’t make her less lonely. Kennedy didn’t love her, not the way Tara did, or Oz. She knew Kennedy could decide to move on at any time and would leave her alone. She knew the difference in years was small but in many ways Kennedy was so much younger than she was, she was still looking for someone to have fun with, not someone to feel safe with.

And she wasn’t needed anymore, she wasn’t helping, not like she used to. Not like in Sunnydale. Oh, she trained slayers and patrolled but it wasn’t the same. If she wasn’t here to do those things, there were literally thousands of others to pick up the slack now. It made her feel unnecessary. She liked feeling needed, as much as Buffy didn’t like the attention and responsibility she had, It made her feel like she belonged. It made her feel less alone.

(Post a new comment)

	oreadno1 2007-07-25 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Very, very good, but very, very sad. Kathy (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shannon730 2007-07-25 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, the table theme is angst so I'm aiming for sad. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	firefly124 2007-07-26 01:45 am UTC (link)
	I can see Willow feeling very much like this. In a way, she's more in Buffy's shadow than ever. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shannon730 2007-07-26 01:50 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent)

hmmmmm

tigresslilly
2007-07-26 03:16 am UTC (link)

On one side, I can see the needy Willow. Ever since the beginning of the series she's needed that attention and praise. She likes feeling important and helpful, but to be honest, there are a lot of other times in the series where Willow is more alone.

Here she still has options, she could go back to the Watchers and help them. She could go back to where she recovered from going all evil witch and help other regain their self control.

And while yes there are other slayers, how many people can say that they have her magical experience? How many are there who have gone so far after the deep end and were able to come back. The series leads us to believe that most who lose control as Willow did after Tara was killed (or even earlier when she was just using magic too much) die or get killed. Her survival makes her a powerful resource because she understands her limits and others. She has better control and should be better able to help teach others those limits.

In a lot of ways it seems to me that she is more needed than Buffy. Sure Buffy is the slayer who has experienced it all, but there are hundred of slayers who've each experienced a lot. Willow's experience and knowledge in magic is unique and very much needed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: hmmmmm shannon730 2007-07-26 03:23 am UTC (link)
	Thanks for the comments, but the reality and what you feel also aren't always the same, which would be the case with Willow, in my opinion at least. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: hmmmmm tigresslilly 2007-07-26 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	Fair enough. Willow has always been a bit angsty and certainly she remained particularly sensitive after Tara's death. (Reply to this) (Parent)