InsaneJournal

For the past three days, Rose hadn't gone far from the house. It was for more than one reason, none of which she was voicing aloud, but the greatest one was that she didn't want to be too far from Jack. Not when he was in this kind of state and so openly fragile. It was a frightening way to see someone who had often - if not always - seen themselves as so strong fall to this kind of emotional pain. In fact, it was heartbreaking, and Rose wanted to be there whenever Jack needed her, the way she had been able to be the other day.

When she heard him stir in his room, Rose's head twitched slightly towards the sound but she kept her hands folded against her lap where she had been determined to keep them - best to avoid fidgeting that way. The last thing she wanted to do was hover, but she hadn't gone far from Jack's side and he seemed so lost in his own thoughts and feelings that she didn't think he'd quite notice what her intentions were.

"Hey," she said quietly, getting up from where she had been sitting in the house's front room. It was just about the most creative thing she could think of to say.

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Though he would never admit it, Jack was glad Rose had stayed as close as she had. Just her being near had meant the world to him, that she hadn't been afraid of his mood swings from dark to darker to darkest. It was disconcerting to feel so lost, particularly when Jack had always been the strongest one, the unflappable one. Nothing scared him and nothing could crack that outward veneer, save the distorted voices of the Daleks shouting 'Exterminate!' but that was understandable.

Apparently there were two things that could cut him so completely. He just never knew the second existed.

Jack forced a smile to his face, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. But at least it was a smile, right? "'lo," Jack said, kissing her forehead.

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The kiss took her slightly by surprise, but that didn't mean Rose minded at all. In fact she was a bit more relieved that Jack was all right with any kind of affection, with showing forth emotion and feelings that he wasn't afraid of. She had thought that Ianto's death would cut him off completely, and she hadn't wanted to allow that to happen. It was part of why she had stayed so close, to try and keep that from happening.

"There's a look I haven't seen in awhile," she said, in reference to the smile, but there was no confusion in the tone of her voice, only a smile of her own. "I'm glad of it."

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If there was anything Jack had learned over the course of his life with the Welsh it was learning the value of repression. He would never lose his ability to show affection, nor would he completely close off, either. It would take him a bit to return to his old self, but he wasn't Jack Harkness if he wasn't flirting or shagging something.

"The smile or the leer?" Jack asked, falling into the comfortable role of overconfident-flirt. Easier to play a role as opposed to dealing with other things. Later he could crash, perhaps with Rose curled around him or by himself, face buried in a pillow that no longer smelled like Ianto.

"Because I'm still working on the latter. Might be able to muster one if you miss it that much."

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The feeling in the room had seemed to have shifted subtly, and Rose had to wonder for a moment if it was something she was imagining or just Jack being Jack himself. Still, something prickled softly at the back of Rose's neck and she tucked her lower lip against her teeth in the beginning of a smile to respond to it.

"Haven't seen you leer in awhile," she said, "but then again I didn't think you ever really leered at me. Maybe..gazed at adoringly?" Her eyebrows lifted slightly in amusement.

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He could pretend, couldn't he? Lose himself in what had always been so close and pretend that nothing existed outside of the two of them. There was the nagging sensation in the back of his mind that it was too soon, that if anything happened between he and Rose it would somehow cheapen what he felt for Ianto. But, at the same time, this was Rose -- not some random woman he found in a pub. Besides, it wasn't as if Jack had come downstairs looking for her with the intention of jumping her.

"You never noticed it," Jack pointed out. "The point of a good leer is to do so when the woman isn't looking. Otherwise you get smacked." Jack winked. "Not that I've ever been smacked, of course. I'm much too good to get smacked."

The teasing and light conversation helped. It let him forget for a few moments and that's what counted, right?

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Her eyebrows lifted again and Rose let her smile give way into one that was more comfortable and solid than it had been before, more carefree and easier, that didn't strain at the edges. "You sure you've never been smacked?" she asked. "I'm sure there are plenty of women wondering why you haven't called. You probably left a trail of broken hearts, Jack Harkness." And it wasn't far from the assumption she believed to be true, either - Rose thought that Jack would have had more than his fair share of lovers, but it wasn't something that she thought was necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, falling in and out of love was part of life.

Now she leaned back a little bit more in her chair, relaxing her posture to something more comfortable, so she could look up at Jack more easily. Of course there had always been some kind of wildfire attraction between them, but that wasn't what he was here for..was it?

Was it?

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"On that point, I'll agree with you," Jack said, chuckling. "I'm sure there is a string of broken hearts a mile wide running all across the galaxy. No one can refuse the allure of a Time Agent." Jack cleared his throat, his expression taking on an impish hint to it. "Not just women, love. I've never narrowed myself so. You remember what the Doctor said. Some men are a bit more flexible when it comes to dancing."

Jack hadn't come down with that in mind but now, suddenly, the idea was occuring to him. Only if she wanted, Jack would never force himself on her for certain, but at the same time... Well, they both needed comfort, didn't they? What better way?

Settling himself on the arm of her chair, Jack leaned against her, still keeping the slightly fake smile on his face. "HOw are you? I know I haven't been a thrill to live with lately."

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Rose did need comfort. The Doctor (the ginger haired one) had been a little more distant than before, and it had been wearing away a small amount at a time. Her throat had been tightening up under the pressure and while Rose was able to swallow and breathe and make her way around the tension, it was still making it harder for her to believe things would be all right again.

"I'm all right," she said, which was as true and honest as she could be. She did need the comfort of Jack's nearness to remind her that she had somewhere to go. Somewhere that would be safe. She lifted her head and looked up into his face, to give herself a better angle.

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Closing his eyes, Jack leaned against Rose all the more fully. God she felt good and god did he just need their nearness. Jack leaned in, one arm snaking around her shoulder to rest all the more fully against her. Just with this, he could believe that things were going to be okay.

Jack sucked in a breath as she looked up at him and swallowed the lump that had formed somewhere in his throat. Closing his eyes, Jack kissed her forehead then, at last, brushed his lips against hers without even thinking. He pulled back, a look of panic on his face. "I... I didn't mean..."

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The kiss was unexpected, and it shocked the air out of her but when Rose had the chance for her bearings to return to her again, she realized that it wasn't a bad, adverse feeling at all. In fact she was comfortable, comforted by Jack, even now when things were shifting to a bit more deep of a level that pushed the tension across her shoulders and away.

When her eyes opened the gaze was more hazy and soft than it had been before and Rose looked up at his startled, worried face. "Don't be," she said softly, shaking her head once. "Don't...don't be sorry." Her hand lifted and she touched her fingers to his cheek.

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The kiss wasn't supposed to happen, but it wasn't the first time he'd kissed Rose. However there hadn't been the same amount of passion behind it. That time had been a kiss before he went off to die. This was a dying man coming back to life. Closing his eyes, Jack leaned into that light touch of hers, sighing softly.

"I shouldn't have," Jack said, turning his head to kiss the palm of her hand. Which was, of course, sending rather mixed messages, wasn't it? He laid a hand over her cheek and stood, looking down at her for a long moment, knowing the raw emotions were spreading across his face once more. "Rose... I..." Closing his eyes, Jack leaned in and kissed her again.

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The kiss to her palm sent shivers rushing up her spine and a little breath hitching in her throat, catching softly in between an exhale and a gasp. Her heart was beating faster than it had been before and a light flush crept up the curve of her cheek and when she looked back up into his eyes her lips were parted slightly.

"Jack.."

Her voice trailed off when he kissed her again and Rose relinquished control of her sensibilities to lift her arms upwards, winding them around his neck. Her lips parted in soft acceptance and she took his breath in for her own.

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Honestly, Jack hadn't intended for this. He had come downstairs looking for Rose, wanting to only sit with her and perhaps distract himself with a bit of telly. But then, something had happened and Jack was suddenly acting on latent feelings. Jack had nearly retreated after this second kiss, afraid of crossing a boundary he never should have approached.

Friends, yes. Companions of the doctor, of course. But Jack had Ianto and Rose had the Doctor -- well, had in Jack's case. Then her arms were around his neck and Jack held her close, sinking onto the chair with her before he pitched forward and pinned her against the arm rest. Jack felt vulnerable, wondered if this was a mistake.

"Rose... I..." Jack drew in a breath, silently asking her permission now rather than just assuming.

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The possibility had briefly entered itself into Rose's mind but that was long ago, when she was younger and an air raid was happening in the sky around them. Things had changed, taken on new lives of their own, and she and Jack had both been forced to move in separate directions. But now, here and together and with their hearts in so much aching pain, of course they would seek comfort in each other. Of course.

He cared too much about her to run on assumptions and feelings alone, and when he drew back Rose inhaled a breath to steady herself before lifting her chin again, just enough to bring her lips to his. When she kissed him it was in agreement, consent, her own want, and the trembling that had been touching her lips gave way from worry and anticipation into nothing more than unrestricted want and feeling.

"Jack.."

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Things had taken on a life of their own and, had the events of satellite 5 not occurred, Jack always wondered what might have been. Could there have been something that developed between them or would Rose have always fancied the Doctor just a little bit more? There was no way of knowing for sure. But if this was their one time, Jack was certainly going to make the most of it.

He could feel the moment the kiss turned into something more and Jack took the opening and ran with it. His hands cupped Rose's face, bringing her in for a kiss that left him breathless by the time he had to pull back. The break was, however, short-lived and Jack leaned in for yet another kiss, this time teasing her lips with his tongue as he slid down to sit next to her, quickly drawing Rose into his lap. Better. Much better.

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Her heart had taken off at a faster rate, beating in her chest and the little hollow of her throat, and when their positions changed and she was drawn into his lap, a breathless little sound swelled up in her throat to escape across his lips. When her hips settled against his the feeling almost shocked the breath out of her lungs and Rose let herself press against his chest, aching and wanting for more of the closeness she hadn't known she was needing.

Her lips parted at the urging of his tongue and Rose swept her fingers up to bury more deeply in his hair, coaxing his chin up slightly to let the kiss deepen. Rose's senses were reeling and she didn't care, instead let her state of mind surrender and herself sink further into his arms.

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Apparently, Rose's heartrate was quickly matching his own as embarrassing as that was to admit. She settled against him, Jack running a hand down her back to rest on her hip to hold her right there. His body was crying out for something and it was Rose he was seeking. Someone who, it seemed, needed the physical comfort just as much as he. Both Ianto and the Doctor ceased to exist in Jack's mind, at least for now. Later he'd think on them both, but for right now, his world had condensed to just Rose and nothing else.

He wasn't sure if the groan came from his own lips or not, but there was a sound, deep and throaty as Jack deepened the kiss, allowing himself to taste her for the first time. Sweeter than he was used to, but exactly what he expected. Jack leaned into her hand, drawing her closer against himself as his tongue explored her mouth, running along lips and teeth.

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The world around them dimmed and shifted away, leaving nothing but the two of them in their isolated realm of need and desperation. There was nothing but Jack, at least not for her now, and when she felt him reciprocate her advance a warm shiver ran up her spine. It would change everything between them, but she needed it - needed him - as badly as he needed her, and this.

Her teeth lightly nipped against his lower lip and then her fingers slipped away from the side of his face to draw down the zipper of her jacket. The heat in the room was overwhelming between them and she wanted to release it, to get closer to him and against him. Her shoulders shrugged just enough to coax the jacket off her shoulders and then she brought her fingers back to his hair, kissing him again.

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They were quickly approaching the point of no return and Jack knew that, once they passed that invisible line things would never be the same between them. He couldn't worry about that now, couldn't worry about the repercussions of the next day -- Jack could only hope that their relationship was strong enough to survive anything, including sex. But now, even that worry was secondary as Jack needed Rose more than anything. He had found his comfort in her, returning to the house bruised and broken, now -- it was all about a different sort of comfort.

Smiling, Jack pushed the jacket from her shoulders, letting it puddle on the floor at his feet. Jack ran his hands along her sides, lifting the hem of her shirts enough to slide along bare skin as he leaned in for yet another kiss. Jack wasn't quite sure how the Doctor could be away from Rose like this. God, one kiss and he was hungering for more.

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