InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "And you'll always be beautiful"

Lily Evans Potter (sagelily) wrote in asphodel,
@ 2008-04-28 21:07:00

Who: James and Lily
When: Backdated to just after they were writing to each other in the journals during that fight they had.
Where: Their house in Godric's Hollow
Rating: TBD
Summary: It's one thing to ease tensions and settle things via writing, it's another thing to do it when facing the person you were just fighting with.

Feeling more satisfied than she had earlier, Lily quietly closed her journal and sat it next to her on the bed. There. It had been resolved. Whatever issue he had with her going out with Marlene and getting a bit sloshed was over and done with. He may not like it still, but at least they had decided to move on. But she knew that it was one thing to discuss things via pen and paper, but another to actually be in each other's presence.

Already, the awkwardness was setting in and she wasn't entirely sure why. She stared at the closed door, at the handle particularly, and wondered if he would come to her first. But he said he would order Chinese, she internalised, knowing that it was entirely up to her to actually step outside the room she had been hiding in most of the day. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him or talk to him (quite the contrary, actually), she just didn't want them to revert back into short, snappy sentences.

Sighing, she stood, putting her shoes back on before advancing towards the door. She was Gryffindor, through and through, and it was absolutely ridiculous for her to be worried about facing her darn husband. Squaring her shoulders, she turned the knob and opened the door. Part one was done; now for part two - she stepped out and could hear James downstairs ordering their food. He sounded fine, not as tense or agitated as he had sounded earlier. Visibly her shoulders relaxed and she let out a breath of air she hadn't realised she had been holding.

Descending the stairs, she turned the corner and found him just as he hung up the phone. "Did you remember the sweet and sour sauce this time?" she asked, stepping from one foot to the other.

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-29 02:39 am UTC (link)

Of course she would laugh and either aim at his shin or give him a little punch somewhere around the arm. She always did that! Even before they'd started dating, Lily's reactions to James' jokes had always involved that very same cute little attitude. Anticipating her kick, James made a grab at her and pulled her down onto the couch next to him before she could so much as touch him.

"Don't you think people will frown upon you physically abusing your poor, defenceless husband? You know, in some countries domestic violance is like...this huge issue!" He gave her a small kiss on the top of the head and then proceeded to stare at the floor. Being a Gryffindor really was harder than it looked.

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sagelily
2008-04-29 02:51 am UTC (link)

"James!" she exclaimed. He caught her by surprise when he grabbed her before her foot could even make contact with his shin. With a tiny squeak, she landed half on the couch, half on him, and laughed. She moved to slide off him, flopping instead next to him and pulled a pillow into her lap as she pulled her legs up and crossed them.

"My poor, defenseless husband? I have one of those?" she quipped, arching an eyebrow at him. "From what I know, my husband carries a wand and is pretty good at defensive spells, so he's perfectly capable of defending himself against a measly kick in the shin." She watched him duck his head and tilted hers as she watched him.

Being a Gryffindor was really hard, but she knew what she had to do.

Reaching out, she touched his arm and slid her hand down and over his wrist until she found his hand. She laced their fingers together and gave his a gently tug, hoping he'd look up at her. When he finally did, she squeezed his hand gently. "I love you, and - I'm sorry about earlier." Though she had said the latter over the journal, she knew it meant more in person than on a sheet of paper.

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-29 03:13 am UTC (link)

"Hey, just because I could beat you in a duel does not mean that you aren't a feisty little thing that occasionally actually manages to make me feel some pain!" He was rambling a little, but he couldn't help it. That part of him was something that he was completely sure that Lily was used to by now - and she didn't seem to mind it in the least, either. "Need I point out that healing potion? That cruel act in which you took advantage of my utmost trust on a pretty red head and proceeded to inflict upon me the most unbearable pain...ever?"

And who would have thought that Lily would be the first one to mention their uncomfortable situation! Well, okay, everyone! Especially given that fact that he, James, was not very good and expressing negative feelings and sorting out fights.
That much had been clear from their latest…problems. The habit of actually fighting with Lily had died almost as soon as they had started dating. Sure, they still argued...quite a lot, but they always worked it out just as fast. That made everything much easier than it was right now. They hadn’t spoken much to each other in over a day. He supposed that part was his fault – he was the one who’d chosen to walk around the house like a zombie. And they had made up through their journals.

Finally, he let his eyes meet hers and gave her a small tender smile. "I'm sorry too, Lils." He leaned forward and brushed his lips very gently against hers. "And you know I love you." He whispered, moving his lips closer to her ear. It was very satisfying to have her warm up to him like that. He instantly felt a rush of gratitude toward her for ending this so soon.

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sagelily
2008-04-29 03:25 am UTC (link)

Lily wanted to point out very much that she could beat James in a duel just as easily, but let him have that small nuance of male pride. The whole sex was completely against any woman beating them in anything comeptitive, and though Lily knew otherwise, she wasn't going to say anything to the contrary. All she did was shrug her shoulders and wave her hand dismissively. "The potion was necessary," she added though, resiting the urge to roll her eyes. "You would have received the same treatment had you gone to St. Mungos, so stop whining about it - next time, be more careful not to get hurt."

She didn't have to wait patiently for long until he looked at her. She gave a small smile when he apologised, closing her eyes and returning the chaste kiss. "I know," she said softly, letting the side of her forehead rest against his. She could feel his glasses against her cheek, cool though a bit awkward, but it was all a comfortable feeling of familiarity. "I hate it when we fight." It was an absentminded thought, one that didn't even need to be said aloud since she knew he felt the same way, but she said it for their benefit anyway.

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-29 03:48 am UTC (link)

"Yeah well, our fights go way back don't they." He said quietly, keeping her hand firmly grasped in his and making a small trail of kisses up her cheek. "At least now we get to enjoy making up, don't we?" James supposed that his coolness in regards to fights with Lily came from years and years of experience. Sure, this one had been different, since it had involved a great deal of resentment and also happened to have been their first fight as a married couple. But there was something extremely soothing about getting to make up with her. Somehow he knew that they would always, always make-up. "Besides, it's not always easy dealing with a stubborn bird like you! It took me years of practice!"

He leaned back a little on the couch and pulled her down with him, feeling that they needed to make up for lost time. The silence that could possibly form around them now wouldn't be as tense and he was grateful. "I didn't mean to come across as insecure today." James blurted out suddenly. That was one of the only points in their argument that had been bothering him. "I do trust you Lily, I want you to know that. I just don't like the idea that I'm losing you. You can be very distant at times and I'm not really sure what to think." The tone of his voice was conversational and calm. He definitely didn't want to start another fight. This was more like clarfying the more uncomfortable moments. The worse thing that could happen would be for these problems to ressurface.

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sagelily
2008-04-29 04:01 am UTC (link)

"All the back to the very first day we met on the train," she reminded him, smiling fondly at it, even though it wasn't the happiest of memories. Still, it was their first meeting and though they had snapped at each other that day, she remembered it nonetheless. Her eyes were closed now and she was letting herself bask in each of his kisses, each of his small caresses. "I suppose that's one of the perks of fighting with you now," she breathed, her cheeks flushing just slightly. Enough to let him know that she liked it and thought about it just as much as he did. "It's not always dealing with a stubborn man like you, either!" She pulled back just enough to look at him before leaning in and giving him a small kiss of her own.

When he leaned back, she went with him willingly, resting against him. The silence that enveloped them for several moments wasn't deafening as it had been before; instead, it was comforting and almost serene. She gave a start when he interrupted the silence and craned her neck to look at him. Her eyebrows furrowed and she pushed herself up enough so that she could fully look at him.

"Losing me?" she frowned, not really sure where he was going at first, but he supplied her with the details. Dropping back to where she was before and no longer looking at him, she sighed. "I don't intentionally act cold. When it happens, I usually don't even realise I'm doing it. I guess it's a form of self-preservation so that I don't get hurt, but... I'm sorry?" Her tone mirrored his, though it was laced with a bit of confusion. Did she really come off cold often?

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-30 01:59 am UTC (link)

He snorted. "Yeah, when you hated my guts and wanted to marry Snape! You know...I don't know how I managed not to kill him! Maybe that was you as well...or it wasn’t. I’m not sure!" The thought actually made him smile. He hadn't expected that. But then, he'd reached a point where Severus Snape could live next door for all he really cared. Well, maybe not right next door, just close. It had been a long while since the actual presence of that oily git mattered much to him and he vaguely wondered whether or not Lily really hadn't been one of the main causes of his hatred toward Snape. Of course there was other stuff as well, but Lily had intensified their feud considerably. "I'm joking, by the way, Lils. I never really thought you were crazy enough to want to marry Snivelly."

Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea for him to mention her occasional coolness. It really wasn't fair on Lily, she seemed upset with it. "Stop apologising!" He muttered, reaching out and running his fingers through her hair. "I know you don't mean it, I was just telling you how I feel. And you should know by now that I'm not going to hurt you..." He tilted his head to look it her. She did know that, right?

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sagelily
2008-04-30 02:07 am UTC (link)

Of course she knew that he wasn't going to hurt her; he had never laid a single hand on her in anger and, though he had threatened to hex her a few times (mostly when they were younger and she sometimes deserved it), she knew he wouldn't. "I know," she said quietly, closing her eyes at the feeling of his fingers running through her hair. It was her favourite thing in the world and if he wasn't careful, he could easily put her to sleep with it. "'m glad you told me though." She'd work on the coldness, especially now that he had brought it up. She owed him that bit.

The mention of Severus Snape almost ruined the moment. She did open her eyes and she felt as if she were crashing back down for a moment, but his tone wasn't insulting or challenging, so she didn't take offense to anything he was saying. She did give a snort, however. "The feud between the two of you was ridiculous and I refuse to be dragged into the middle of the reason behind it," she said, turning her head slightly so that she could look at him again. "We were all very immature and childish, and it's only normal for us to have enemies when we're children." But she knew that the dislike between James Potter and Severus Snape went far deeper than being just childhood enemies. She didn't mention that though.

"You'll be happy to know that I never fancied the idea of marrying Severus anyway and I'd rather not have him as our neighbor either. He could live down the street and around the corner, but not next door."

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-30 02:23 am UTC (link)

"Oh but you were a huge reason behind it!" James answered slowly, giving her a little snuggle to make sure she didn't get too fired up with the subject. He'd never really managed to get the facts on her friendship with Snape out of her. That was another thing about Lily - sometimes it was a little hard to know her. And while James knew that he probably had the privilege of knowing Lily better than anyone, he still wished she would talk to him about everything and not skip some of the uncomfortable details. "He had a thing for you, you know. Even if you don't want to believe it! And he always hated me more than my mates, don't you think it's a little odd, that?"

James wasn't exactly sure why he was pushing the subject. Maybe it was just one of those things he'd always wanted to explain. Something he'd been dying to get out into the open and never got the chance. "For me it only got really personal when he tried to turn in Remus. I just think that for him it was always very personal." If he couldn't talk about things with his wife, then who could he talk to, right? She would just have to get over her resentment toward his fight with Snape. They were husband and wife now - she couldn't exactly side with his enemy.

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sagelily
2008-04-30 02:32 am UTC (link)

Lily pursed her lips lightly, slightly displeased that he was pushing the discussion but not angry with him for it. She knew very well that she had never elaborated on the friendship she had shared with Severus Snape and she rarely even spoke about him. In fact, she hadn't given him much thought in quite some time until now, and she had James to blame for that.

"I know," she answered in a deadpanned voice, showing no emotion whatsoever. "But nothing happened or would have happened had he personally made me aware that he did." And she meant that. For one, they were too young at the time, still children, and she considered him to be nothing more than her friend - her very best friend until the incident fifth year which ultimately caused them to part ways. "He hated you for it because you had everything he ever wanted - a loving family, more money than you could use in a lifetime, friends who cared, and at the risk of sounding really egotistical, you had me too. So his jealousy turned to hatred."

Lily nodded, listening to him explain that things really only got personal between him and Severus when Severus nearly turned Remus in. "It wasn't entirely his fault - had Sirius not lead him down there, he wouldn't have known. I think he mostly did what he did out of fear for what happened. After that night, he was visibly shaken, but didn't speak of it." She looked at him, watching his face to make sure he wasn't getting angry with her now. "I don't blame Sirius for what happened in case you were wondering - he was young too, and we all make mistakes then that we regret when we're older."

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prongsie_potter
2008-04-30 10:58 pm UTC (link)

Of course her expression would show some contempt at him bringing up the subject. But he appreciated her resisting the urge to snap at him. He supposed that was the main difference between Lily and her sister Petunia (well, aside from Lily's good looks, sense of humour and brains), she really was open enough to talk, even if the subject didn't particularly make her happy.

"You two hid it really well, you know." James said thoughtfully, trying very hard not to remember that he still owed Snivellus a good punch in the eye for that day in fifth year. "I watched you pretty closely and it took me a while to be sure. You have absolutely nothing in common. It even crossed our mind that he may be bewitching you. And then he insulted you in fifth year! So yeah, I don't even know if I can say I was completely sure." James frowned a little at the memory, but then gave a soft laugh. "I do believe that the event where we multiplied his ugliest underpants by two hundred and hung them all around the school was in your honour." He bit back a laugh. The undies actually had 'If found, please return to Severus Snape' written on them! "You didn't even appreciate it!"

At Lily's next words James shook his head eminently. "I know he was your friend and you got to hear a lot of his side on this, Lily, but you have no idea what he was like with us. He would sneak behind shelves to listen to our conversations! It was incredible, the obsession he had with Remus' secret! And I know you'll believe it - his hexes were pretty...creative!" James winced a little at the memory of having his arm half ripped off, but said nothing. "Sirius was never as controlled as the rest of us. He snapped! And don't think I wasn't furious at him! But ultimately it wasn't really his fault - not the information, and especially not the fact that Snape actually went."

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sagelily
2008-04-30 11:37 pm UTC (link)

Absently, Lily's fingers played with a frayed piece of string at the hem of his shirt, listening to him and 'hmming' whenever necessary. Of course she and Severus had hid it well to him, they had really been great friends - the best, in her opinion, so to an outsider it would have logically seemed as if they had feelings for each other that went beyond platonic friendship.

Furrowing her brows, she shook her head slightly. "I had enough sense about me to know whether or not he was bewitching me - I'm just as good at spells and potions as he is so I would have suspected something. And really, he had no reason to at first, you know, though anytime I was anything but nasty to you, he would accuse me of trying to become friends with you." That sort of jealousy had irked her for years - at the time, it was because she couldn't believe he'd have such a preposterous idea in his head that she would become friends with James Potter, but now that she was older, she could see just how obsessive and possessive he was of her. Almost to the point where it was scary.

Her lips quirked at the underwear prank. She remembered it perfectly and remembered having a bit of a laugh about it later in her dormitory, though not because she was glad they had done it, but because it got back at Severus. "I was a prefect, I couldn't openly show that I appreciated it. Though, you will be happy to know that I was amused by it and had a nice laugh into my pillow that night because of it."

Falling quiet, she listened to him, biting her lip and furrowing her eyebrows when he described how obsessed Severus was with Remus. Of course, she had had some inclination about it. "He asked me several times if I knew why Remus was in the hospital wing, but we all used to think he just got sick easily so that's what I told him." She shrugged her shoulders. At the time, that was all she had thought. Now she obviously knew differently. Lily also knew that Snape's hexes were anything but just creative. They were the sole reason why his Death Eater friends at Hogwarts befriended him in the first place. They were dark and sinister, and had the dark arts written all over them.

"I know. They're both to blame," she concluded, deciding to take the middle path and stick up for neither Sirius nor Severus. They were both stupid in their decisions and paid the consequences for them.

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prongsie_potter
2008-05-04 04:56 am UTC (link)

He bit his lips in annoyance as she showed how Snape had actually controlled her. Maybe she would never understand just how much that actually bothered him. "You know Lily, the fact that being my friend was such a terrible idea, the fact that you hated me so much back then, that'll always hurt." He didn't know how to forgive her for it, so he usually chose not to mention it too much. How did he get past that small resentment he still had where Lily was concerned? Killing Snape probably wouldn't be as satisfying as it seemed. For now, he chose to hide his feelings as much as he could. Though he knew that just then the stiffness in his voice revealed more than he wanted it to. Perhaps it woudl be better if he and Lily talked this out and tried to solve it.

"Yeah, he cared about you so much he insulted you and tried to use you as a spy so he could get one of us expelled." James muttered bitterly, now wishing he hadn't started this stupid conversation. "Merlin, I didn't hex that sodding git enough!"

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sagelily
2008-05-04 04:07 pm UTC (link)

And this was exactly why she had been so reluctant to have this particular conversation. It always resulted in an argument or one of them getting hurt. Always. Sitting up, she pulled away from him and rubbed her forehead with a sigh. This was ridiculous, they were kids! Kids don't necessarily like each other when they're younger, especially if their best friend doesn't. It's some kind of...friendship code or something.

"I've already apologised for that several times over," she said, pushing it out harder than she wanted. She was resisting the urge to get offended and upset. "Why do you have to keep bringing it up?" she looked over at him and shook her head. "We were kids. Severus didn't like you and I didn't like you at the time because well - you were a bit of a bully when you were younger." He really was. "But goodness, James, I married you didn't I? that's got to show some merit, doesn't it? Obviously I don't think the same as I did when I was younger, so why continue hexing a dead centaur?"

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prongsie_potter
2008-05-04 04:42 pm UTC (link)

"Because it still bothers me!" James answered at once. "You have this part of you that you refuse to share, and you won't tell me about it because I might insult dear Severus and then you get all heated up about it, don't you?" He frowned when she moved away from him but didn't make any effort to pull her back. He would do whatever he could to make sure this didn't go further than a small bickering match, but he wasn't about to beg either.

"You know, I find it really funny that someone who was best friends with Snape actually has the audacity to throw in my face that I was a bully!" He said impatiently, now honestly offended at her comment. It was almost as if she still meant it. "I was an idiot, but I never hurt anyone. Nor did I hex people from behind! Now Snape," he snorted, "oh it's so ironic that you stood up to him, he actually hexed me when I had my back turned right in front of you! But that was right before he actually insulted you too, so I guess I needn't bring that up." Why should he have ever respected Snape? In James' opinion, that boy was as low as you could possibly get when it came to Death Eater scum.

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