A community for people with asperger syndrome's Journal|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
A community for people with asperger syndrome's InsaneJournal:
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|Wednesday, January 14th, 2009|
I came across this community a while ago and it seemed interesting, so I have some questions and what not and I was hoping some of you who have been diagnosed with AS can help me.
I'm female. Almost 19 years old. My cousin who is 8 has Asperger's. Anyway, I'm a little confused. I know a bit about the condition, just from reading online.
I work at Target (retail) usually as a Register operator or the door greeter. I like being door greeter because I simply can stand there without people constantly talking to me. When on registers, I am always wanting to be the one to take the coathanger totes out to the back of the store and empty them. Or I want to do any little job that I can be on my own and do my own thing. I don't dislike people, but I don't feel a need to talk to them.
I also have a hard time learning things, such as when I went to school. I didn't understand things in math or science that everyone else seemed to pick up easily and no matter how many times I was taught/shown, I still didn't get it, but I'm not dumb or anything.
I'm not really that much of a shy person, although I don't know what to say to people in conversation and I tend to talk about myself instead when someone is talking about themselves. Usually when someone is talking a lot, I don't really listen, I just tune out or play with my phone. When it's my chance to talk, I'll just keep talking.
I also dislike it when my opinion is being challenged and I tend to overeact about things, easily.
With strangers, I always mix words up or can't get them out right and no matter who I'm talking to, I can't keep eye contact at all. I never have been able to. I don't mind going places alone, I also have no interest in driving a car no matter how many times I'm told I have to learn and I find it hard to have real feelings for someone.
Sometimes I also have random mood swings where everything irritates me or I just feel down for no reason, or over little things. I sometimes obsess over things pretty badly for a short while then move onto something else. I sometimes tap my leg on the ground without really realizing it and I like to do things the same way. Like take the same path to a place, make sure a certain thing is always a certain way. Each time I am on a register at work, I make sure the screens on an angle I like, the scanner is angled backwards and my pen is where I always have it, etc.
I also feel my heart beating fast when I have to see certain people or talk to them, although I don't feel nervous for it at all and know there's no reason to be nervous.
Im not sure if this is related either, but since I was 8, I sniffed my fingers. I'd rub them over my lips and just smell the nail or whatever. I didn't even realize I was doing it half the time and I still am doing it. I used to do it infront of people without reazling and got made fun of. I've never been able to stop it. Maybe it's some kind of OCD?
Anyway, if anyone could help me out with my confusion, that would be great.
|Friday, November 21st, 2008|
Writing a research paper about AS
I have to write a research paper for my "college writing" class, and I want to write about Asperger's. However, I don't want it to be just a general overview of Asperger's. I want to have a more specific, focused topic. But I can't think of anything! It can't really be a first-person account of living with AS, because it has to be a research paper. I have to consult various sources (online, books, journals, etc.)
Can anyone suggest a topic for me?
|Saturday, October 25th, 2008|
My name is Kimi and I am 20 years old. I have mild autism, ADHD, severe anxiety, A slow learning disability and possible Dyscalculia. I am looking for friends that are like me and to have people who are willing to let me share my experiences with my disabilities and maybe even get more infortmation about them so I can help my parents understand what they are.
I am a very caring person and very friendly. I can get pretty upset over little things and sometimes even my emotions get the best of me. I am currently disabled and unable to work, receiving SSI benefits for all my disabilities.
I hope I can make some friends here and not get teased because I am different. I can also be very shy so if I don't talk to you or post comments to your LJ, its not because I don't like you or anything. I have trouble with being able to open up to people, even online. Current Mood: anxious
|Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008|
I haven't seen much on asperger recently. Where are you all?
But then I haven't seen much updating on my own journal either. Perhaps I should see about getting it to automatically update.
|Monday, April 7th, 2008|
|Saturday, April 5th, 2008|
Shoemaker's Witch-Hunt: An Open Letter
In case you weren't aware, Kathleen Seidel and neurodiversity.com are under attack
via a frivolous and brazenly unconstitutional "subpoena" issued by a dirtbag anti-vax lawyer
in one of the most half-witted foilhat freakouts since the first radio broadcast of "War of the Worlds." This "subpoena" is an obvious attempt to intimidate and silence Kathleen, and by proxy, the entire autistic self-advocacy community.
My "Open Letter" (below the cut) is posted on my WordPress blog, and crossposted here at IJ on my own journal and at the asperger
asylum. Many more blog entries in support of Kathleen can be found at I Speak of Dreams
, and The Voyage
, and Natural Variation
.Please show your support and help protect our civil and human rights by blogging about this outrage.( Shoemaker's Witch-Hunt: An Open Letter )
|Tuesday, April 1st, 2008|
Autism Awareness: "Wait -- you're saying that YOUR prejudice is a 'symptom' of MY autism?"
[crossposted to my journal here, and my WordPress blog
So, the dreaded "Autism Awareness Month" has arrived, and thus, the seasonal deluge of parental angst and professional avarice shall soon be upon us.
For my own part, I will indeed be attempting to participate in the "Blogging for Autism Awareness" project. Here, have a button:
As words are often in short supply for me (well, coherent ones, at least), I expect I'll mostly just be linking back to various classics in autistic self-advocacy and disability rights genres. But for this stab, I'm going to indulge in a bit of self-quotation, plus links.( yadda-yadda-yadadda, da-blah-blah-blah )
|Tuesday, March 4th, 2008|
|Tuesday, February 26th, 2008|
Gratuitous introduction post
I'm not necessarily planning on becoming a regular blogger at InsaneJournal, but I went ahead and claimed my username here just for the heck of it, and naturally, joined the Aspie community to go with it. Most of you probably know me from That Other Journal Site or from other forums.
So anyway... greetings, all.
Call for posts that were blocked by NYU's "Town Hall Meeting"
As some of you know, New York University's Child Study Center hosted what they purported to be a "town hall meeting" today on the topic of childhood mental illnesses. For weeks, they have been effusively "inviting public participation and input," which was to take place, supposedly, in the forum today. But what you won't likely know unless you participated in the forum is that countless posts were BLOCKED for no apparent reason -- except, perhaps, that "Doctor" Harold Koplewicz (of "Ransom Notes" and Paxil Study 329 fame
) just didn't happen to feel like addressing those posts, and as such, saw no reason for them to appear at all. Clearly, he has his own unique definition of what "town hall meeting" should mean.
Here are three of my most "controversial" posts that were silenced in this "open forum":( And what I'm hoping to do about it... )
|Monday, February 25th, 2008|
WIRED: "Yeah, I'm Autistic. You got a problem with that?"
This just in from Ari Ne'eman at ASAN
. The latest issue of WIRED Magazine has a new article on Autistic intelligence. Discussed are Amanda Baggs
' YouTube videos, and Michelle Dawson
's collaboration with Laurent Mottron, among others. Excellent article -- another must-read
for the self-advocacy community ... and an unequivocal in-your-face
at the bulk of mainstream research and professions.
The full article is currently available only in PDF format, so expect to do a lot of enlarging and scrolling.
Blurb and links:
Traditional science holds that people with severe autism are prisoners in their own minds, severely disabled, and probably mentally retarded. Don't tell that to Amanda Baggs, an autistic woman who achieved viral fame with her YouTube video "In My Language," which has so far received more than 350,000 hits. Wired contributor David Wolman gets inside the life that Baggs has created for herself, which includes blogging, hanging out in Second Life, corresponding with her friends, and a "constant conversation" with the world around her. Wolman's conclusion: Much of past research about autism and intelligence is catastrophically flawed...
Main page for March, 2008 issue:http://www.wired.com/services/press/2008/march
Full article [PDF], "Yeah, I'm Autistic. You got a problem with that?":http://www.wired.com/images/press/pdf/autism.pdf
[Cut to clip of Bob Wright's head exploding]
PS: PASS IT ON. ;-)
|Monday, January 7th, 2008|
From Livejournal: The Son Rise Program
The techniques listed on that page seem pretty sound, in terms of encouraging the parent to experience, positively, the viewpoint of their child on their own terms. To what degree is it "recovery from autism", and to what degree is it merely positive socialization with a mother who may otherwise conduct actions that are detrimental to the child's well-being? To what degree does neurology shape the person?
|Sunday, December 30th, 2007|
Depression and meltdowns
This started out as a reply to a post, but it was getting very long, so I decided to make it a separate entry.
I have Asperger's and clinical depression. For me the depression often seems to manifest itself as me getting into flame wars with people online! I also tend to interpret things in a negative way. Another thing I do, especially when depressed, is get really pissed when people try to give me advice. I usually end up rejecting all "advice" offered me. Sometimes it's because the advice really doesn't fit my situation. Sometimes it's because no matter how useful the advice is, I didn't ask for advice, but just wanted to vent, so I refuse to accept it.
I also have a tendency to suddenly "lose it" and start yelling at whoever happens to be with me at the time. This usually comes out of a deep sense of frustration. I feel like I've been repeating the same thing over and again, or I feel like I haven't been told something that I need to know, or I just feel like the person is not listening to me or not understanding what I'm saying. This may or may not be the case, but it is how I interpret the situation.
Unfortunately, I have read that one of the side effects of the antidepressant I am taking is "angry outbursts." Oh hey, great side effect for something I'm taking for depression.
I've had a few of those outbursts at work when I've tried my hardest to resolve a situation peacefully and it's not working. For example, the building's heating system wasn't working, I am hypersensitive to cold, and yet people insisted on opening windows in the middle of winter. I asked them nicely to please close the windows. I tried to cope with the cold by dressing more warmly, until I was wearing literally six layers of clothing every day and could barely move because I was wearing so many clothes. I bought a space heater for my workstation, and then the management took my space heater away from me. I did everything I could to try to cope with the situation until the heating was fixed, but the open windows made it worse.
They got a repair crew in to try to fix the heating system, and the crew said that they could not fix the system while there were windows open in the building. The employees and managers refused to close the windows, so the heating system did not get fixed. So it was the middle of winter, we had no heat, and people were running around wearing parkas indoors instead of closing the windows so that the repair crew could fix the heating system.
We had a staff meeting in which somebody asked about the progress on fixing the heat. The manager said, "We can't get a crew in to fix it because all the crews in the city are booked solid for the next couple of months." (Ignoring the fact that a crew had already been in and had refused to work on the system until the management and staff were willing to close the windows in the building.)
I asked, "Could we at least close the windows until the heat is fixed?" That made people start talking about how wonderful it was to have open windows and how fresh air made it easier to concentrate on their work. I finally burst out, "Look, I have circulation problems due to diabetes. I have fibromyalgia, which is made worse by cold. I have asthma, which is triggered by cold drafts. Why can't we CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOWS????" (And yes, I yelled, and yes, they still refused to close the damn windows.) The heating system was finally repaired TWO YEARS after we moved into that building, and only after they agreed to close all the windows for a few days until the work was finished.
I have had a few other outbursts when I have failed to make my point using reasonable means, like when they tried to refuse to give me a meal break even though I have diabetes, and when a human resources person tried to convince me that I should pay $5,000 to buy into the pension plan, I told her I couldn't afford it and she wouldn't take "no" for an answer until I yelled at her that I only made $20K a year and $5,000 was a quarter of my yearly income. Unfortunately, these outbursts have probably harmed my chances at ever getting a promotion in this organization.
|Monday, December 24th, 2007|
I'm Tara. I've never been officially diagnosed with Asperger but when I read all the documentation on symptoms I usually can pick out about 90% of the traits that I can apply to myself.
I like to call myself a "Parallel Player" as I don't like to be involved with people but I like to be active where there are large gatherings of people. I can't go to Starbucks with a friend but I can sit there alone for hours. Same with work. We have a cubicle like setting and I always pick the one with the least amount of people around. Usually in the corner where I can still hear everything. Email and IM are my best friends as it keeps me in the loop but no need to actively pursue physical contact with anyone other than my partner or close family members.
I have been this way my entire life. I actually spent my elementary school years throwing a tennis ball up against the wall cause I didn't like to play with the other kids.
/ramble Current Mood: relaxed
|Sunday, December 23rd, 2007|
What I've learned about myself
This is what I have learned about myself in the past 2 years through therapy, research, and experience (this is the most I've shared about this):
I have Asperger syndrome (high-functioning autism), which is complicated by severe depression. The 2 together make for a very, very complicated existence. ( Click here for more [longer than a drabble; shorter than a story] )
I hope I have helped you understand me better. I know this has been very therapeutic for me to type. Thank you for your very, very patient attention! Current Mood: contemplative
|Friday, December 21st, 2007|
|Saturday, December 15th, 2007|
New info on NYU's "Ransom Notes" perpetrators
First, I'm afraid I'm being a tad "spammy" with this entry, and for that I apologize. But I think this tale needs to be told, post haste.
By now, you all know about NYU's Child Study Center, headed by Dr. Harold Koplewicz, and their repugnant "Ransom Notes" campaign. And most of you have probably signed ASAN's petition calling for the campaign to be scrapped:http://www.petitiononline.com/ransom/petition.html
Well, just a few hours ago, I was browsing the list of recent signatories, and this entry caught my eye:
486. [name omitted]: comment: I live in Raritan Twsp. NJ = My daughter almost died from Paxil. a drug Dr. Koplewicz helped promote off-label
Yeah, Paxil, and its lavish "off-label" uses -- one of my old pet peeves. So on a whim, I googled the string "Koplewicz + Paxil" ...and a moment later, "the other shoe dropped."
First, it turns out that the ad agency, BBDO, which produced the "Ransom Notes" campaign also represents both Pfizer and the notorious Glaxo Smith Kline, maker and aggressive pusher of Paxil. Shocker.
But among the top hits in the search came this seemingly unremarkable blog entry:
Many Angry At Childhood Mental Illness "Hostage" Ad Campaignhttp://www.furiousseasons.com/archives/2007/12/many_angry_at_childhood_mental_illness_hostage_ad_campaign_1.html
The entry, like so many others, tells of the NYU debacle, but then drops this bombshell:
"As it turns out ... Koplewicz is one of the co-authors of the infamous Paxil Study 329 ...
"Study 329 basically asserted that Paxil beat placebo in treating depression in teens when, in fact, it did not. In addition, there were instances of suicidality in this study which Glaxo somehow managed to deep-six."
And from the Alliance for Human Research Protection website comes this repost:http://www.ahrp.org/infomail/04/03/25.php
The Times quotes Dr. Harold Koplewicz, indicating only that he is the director of the NYU Child Study Center: "The fear I have about this warning is that many teenagers will not get the medicine because it will build resistance among their parents, and that is really a tragic outcome."
Dr. Koplewicz, not only is one of the staunchest promoters of psychotropic drugs for children, he was a co-investigator and co-author of a major Paxil study (329) in which he and the pillars of American child psychiatry claimed to have found that Paxil was "well tolerated and effective" for adolescents. The article has now been discredited by the FDA. Furthermore, an internal 1998 memo by the manufacturer of Paxil indicates that only the positive data from study 329 would be published, but the negative findings would not.
Readers trust the New York Times, believing that the experts selected by the Times for their views, are objective unless identified as having a financial interest in the product/ company or have taken a position. The Times failed to disclose any of the relevant background information that demonstrates a decidedly biased point of view. The Times article also failed to disclose the very substantial financial ties to the drug industry of either Dr. Koplewicz or the NYU Child Study Center ...
And so on.
Obviously, this connection needs to be investigated further. At the moment, I don't feel up to the job of deciding how relevant this information is to NYU's ongoing "Ransom Notes" disgrace. But I felt compelled to bring it to your attention.
Please spread the word.
|Thursday, December 6th, 2007|
I know that a lot of members of the LJ Asperger community have joined InsaneJournal. I'd love to see this group become more active, especially since I don't plan to spend much time on LJ in the future.
Can anyone reading this come up with ways to publicise the existence of this
asylum? I know there's asylum_promo
, but I'm somewhat worried that advertising there might bring trolls in our direction. Should we just rely on word-of-mouth? Current Music: Neko Case / Things That Scare Me
|Monday, October 29th, 2007|
I could use some suggestions...
Help me if you can, please.
Current Mood: frustrated
|Wednesday, August 29th, 2007|
Astronaut has AS?
My local paper had a little snippet this morning about Lisa Nowak, the astronaut who is facing assault and abduction charges for stalking her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Apparently her attorney has filed a notice to use temporary insanity as a defense, and describes his client as suffering from a variety of behavioral disorders, including depression, OCD, insomnia, and "brief psychotic disorder with marked stressors." Also mentioned in this notice of intent is that Nowak has Asperger Syndrome.
I haven't researched this any further but I am concerned. Is it the attorney's intent to use AS as a mitigating factor to defend his client's criminal behavior? And given the high-profile nature of this case, would the success of an insanity defense based even in part on AS result in further stigmatization of those affected, or even in mandated intervention? I hope that I'm being alarmist about this, and if anyone has heard anything else about this notice I would love to get more detail. Current Mood: worried