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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Anonymous confessions, letters, and rants' InsaneJournal:
| Sunday, May 23rd, 2010 | |
| 1:25 pm [nirvanafan666] |
I'm lying to my boyfriend, and I feel terrible about it... But it's because I want to make something very special for him to be given as a present for his 20th birthday. I just don't know whether I can cope with all the lying and stuff (where I have been, what I have done, why are my muscles strained...) for 4 more months. AND the thing I'm doing is making photos, mostly nude. I know he'll love them, but since it's a male photographer taking the photos, I don't know whether my boyfriend will freak out when he finds out. Sucks. |
| Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 | |
| 6:58 pm [nirvanafan666] |
Something really gross and embarrassing happened the other day at work. I was on my second day of my period, and I really had to use the bathroom during break. So, I sat down on the toilet and felt around my vagina to remove my tampon. Well, I couldn't find anything, so I did my business. When I went to wipe myself with toilet paper, I still couldn't find anything. Right before I went to flush the toilet, I looked in the bowl to see if I could find it in there. I figured it was so full, I had peed it out. Unfortunately, there was nothing in there either. I think it came loose and fell down my pants somewhere at work. |
| Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 | |
| 9:31 pm [nirvanafan666] |
You never cease to amaze me, but I am not saying that in a positive light. It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely clueless you are after all these years. I was shocked after five years of no communication to see that you had added me to your friends list on a social networking site. I was even more surprised to see that you had added me after I had explicitly stated in one of our last conversations that I did not want to be your friend, because you do nothing but cause trouble and start unnecessary drama. You're a social disease, and that's all there is to it. Anyway, the only reason why I added you back was out of morbid curiosity. People change; I'd like to think I'm a much better person than I was five years ago. So, why did I delete you? The question is, why don't you already know the answer to this? Are you blatantly that stupid, or are you just up to your old games? I'm thinking the latter. However, in case you really don't get it, I'll sum up my feelings about the situation for you. First and foremost, I got sick and tired of hearing about your woes with your wife. She has stated the fact several times that she gets upset when you discuss your relationship issues with everyone else on the face of the planet except her. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate knowing you came to a girl you used to date years ago over the Internet with your marital problems. Also, though this may sound completely heartless, I just simply don't care. It's your own problem; learn to deal with it. Actually, I think that pretty much sums it up, aside from the fact that your obsession with your sister was fucking creepy as all get out. |
| Thursday, March 4th, 2010 | |
| 7:20 pm [nirvanafan666] |
Yes, I understand that you're a lesbian. I have absolutely no issue with that; I think that everyone should be proud of who they are. Fuck the haters. However, that doesn't give you the right to sit there and make inappropriate comments to me. I don't want to have sex with you; I don't find you in the least bit sexy; and there's no chance in Hell you'll ever get with me. I don't care about your lingerie. If this keeps up, the friendship is over. |
| Thursday, February 25th, 2010 | |
| 6:11 pm [nirvanafan666] |
You are nothing but an ugly, obese BITCH with an influx of pimples that should have cleared up by the age of 21. You allow your husband to treat you like garbage, but guess what? NOBODY CARES. No, really: NOBODY CARES. I have spoken to several people who have stated that fact; I guess that's what happens when big mouths like you walk around like they own the place with their FAT ASSES. So, here's what I want you to do: Take your fucking tax return and go get a fucking makeover. Get your ugly, frizzy hair cut and invest in a good product that will smooth it out. Go to the store and buy a decent facewash with a decent acne treatment. Clearisil isn't that expensive, darling. Feel free to buy some for your ass, too, because we all know you get them down there and in your filthy snatch, too. Go buy a decent brand of makeup and put some fucking effort into your look. See you next Tuesday, bitch. |
| Sunday, February 7th, 2010 | |
| 11:28 am [nirvanafan666] |
Next week is Valentine's Day, and I couldn't hate that day more. All these happy couples celebrating their love and having fun. I know it's pathetic, but why do I have to be one of the people who won't celebrate their relationship because they don't have one?? I want my boyfriend back, and I know this is never going to happen. |
| Monday, January 25th, 2010 | |
| 7:39 am [nirvanafan666] |
With every day living here, I feel more alone. I want to go back a year and be with all my friends again. I miss them... |
| Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 | |
| 11:19 am [nirvanafan666] |
I'm so tired of feeling like there's not room for me in my own life. Disabled parent on the one hand, only working parent on the other, and both are acting like they're five and I'm the grownup. I have to deal with paying the bills, making sure nobody gets overdrawn, I have to do the taxes this year, we're ducking debt collection as it is, I have to cook and feed everybody every day, I have to make sure both parents get their medication three times a day, and we only have one car, which the working parent uses every day which means I can't get out and have a break. I just... feel like so much of my life is taken up by dealing with their crap that I don't have room for myself, or even know who I really am anymore. |
| Thursday, January 7th, 2010 | |
| 4:05 pm [nirvanafan666] |
My ex-boyfriend visited me last weekend, and we had sex and totally behaved like a couple. This is the second time we've done that... Seems like both of us cannot cope with us being split up. The funny thing is that I don't want to be split up... I want to be in a relationship with this guy, but this is just not possible... We don't have time and money enough for that : ( Whatever... |
| Monday, December 14th, 2009 | |
| 10:03 am [nirvanafan666] |
I don't like christmas. |
| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 | |
| 11:03 am [nirvanafan666] |
There's this guy I have been friends with for about four years. We shared the same interests, especially in sex and porn business, and so we always talked about that a lot. He has never had a girlfriend (he's not the best looking guy ever, after all), I always had a boyfriend. Then, sometimes, he told me that he had a sexdream of me, which scared the shit out of me, because I didn't want him to have a knack on me for obvious reasons. After that, I didn't really know how to talk to him, but he didn't mention the dream later, so it was okay for a few months. Then, he started telling me that I was beautiful, that he weanted to touch my breasts and my ass and that he likes looking at me. Well, after that, I started to avoid him. Last weekend he asked whether he could visit me in my new hometown. Since I really like him still and it has been an awful lot of time not talking to him anymore, I told him yes. When he came, we had much fun, we were talking about everything and nothing for about 10 hours. Then we went to bed (he slept in my guestbed). when I wake up next morning and went to the bathroom, I heard he was already up. I needed some time, and when I came out of the bathroom, he was standing next to my living room's door and looked at me in a completely... strange way. I tried to make some small talk, but I was tired, so I headed off to the living room. When I passed him, he said "I just have to do this" and embraced me in a rather... sexual way. I knew that this situation would approach me sooner or later, so I turned to face him and asked what was going on. He said that he was very alone and needed me. I told him that I had a boyfriend, which he knew after all, but he wouldn't stop. He (never having had a girlfriend) asked whether he could touch me. I knew that it was wrong, but since I didn't care (I have been touched by so many guys at boarding school that I don't really care anymore) I told him yes, and so he did. He started at my ass and then came to my breasts, saying that he didn't imagine it like that but that he liked it. Then he said that he felt uncomfortable that he hadn't shown me his privates, but although I said that I would feel uncomfortable then, he showed me his penis. After that he said that it felt like unresolved tension, and I knew what that meant for him, but I told him that he wouldn't be getting more of me than what he already got. I went to my living room alone and dressed, and half an hour later, we met again in the kitchen and talked as if nothing happened. Two hours later he left. Now it feels like crap for me... I don't know what I'm going to do when I meet him next time, which will be in less than 5 months. I can't just forget it, because it was too much for me - it's not like getting told that my breasts look beautiful or whatever. So, I tried talking to a good friend of mine, but she doesn't know him, so she couldn't tell me anything I dind't know already. I've yet to tell my boyfriend, but this is going to get a lot harder - not because he will be jealous or something like that (he knows me, after all, and isn't bothered my me flirting around and stuff), but because he was at the same boarding school as me and knows that guy too. This is going to be hard... Well, whatever. It's a good feeling to write it all down. |
| Monday, November 2nd, 2009 | |
| 9:43 am [nirvanafan666] |
There's this guy that I met three years ago back in college. I only saw him a handful of times around campus, and, even though he was a nice guy, he didn't leave much of an impression on me. However, lately I've developed this huge crush on him, and I can't stop thinking about him--three years after I last saw him! I have sex dreams all the time about him, and I find myself wishing I would see him one more time. Strange how things like that happen... |
| Monday, October 26th, 2009 | |
| 10:40 am [nirvanafan666] |
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| Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 | |
| 12:33 pm [nirvanafan666] |
For the first time in ages, I feel wonderful. |
| Monday, September 7th, 2009 | |
| 8:50 pm [anon_mod] |
I work as a phone representative for a national company. I actually really like my job, and it makes me feel good to help customers out. I don't make a ton of money doing what I do, but I started this career later on in life, so I'm starting with at ground zero. I do NOT receive gratuities and bonuses for referring people to other products, so, before I state what I have to say, don't try using that against me. This is anonymous, so I have nothing to hide. I'm lucky enough that the place I work at has supportive supervisors who don't make me feel guilty about occasionally having to transfer a call to them. We do have petty little arguments in the division from time to time, but that's what happens when you get a group of women in their 20's working together. It's not written in my job description that I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO contact supervisors or managers in other departments to help you out. I do not receive a bonus for doing that. If you're late on a payment, then I'm more than willing to do what I can do to have any fees waived if it's just an honest mistake. If I can't get ahold of someone right away, then I'll send them an e-mail or leave a message to get back to me. However, if they decide they're not going to help you out after you've been late 20 times, then shut the fuck up and deal with it. If you're not contacting us when you first have financial issues, then it's your own damned fault. We will do what we can to change the date of the payment, work on a payment plan, or rebate a fee. If you're disabled and living from paycheck-to-paycheck, we understand that sometimes shit just happens and you occasionally go into the negative. However, if you're too stupid to get educated about how our bank works, and you continuously overdraw your account, screaming that you want to speak with a manager is not going to get you the results that you want. Insulting us, screaming obscenities, making legal threats, etc. isn't going to help you out, either. I'm more than willing to listen to someone who just needs to vent; I won't take that personally. But calling me a slut isn't going to help you. And I just wanted to say this much: People from Pennsylvania are the biggest assholes on the face of the planet. I would love nothing more than to have that fucking state wiped off the state of the planet. Believe me, nobody would care. |
| 2:57 pm [anon_mod] |
New Mod Needed I am not going to be able to continue even the small amount I'm doing for this community. Is anyone interested in taking over the anon-mod hat? Maybe even advertising the community? I'm also dropping Dear IJ, if anyone is interested in taking that one up. Please respond to this post if you have any interest. |
| Saturday, August 8th, 2009 | |
| 10:28 pm [anon_mod] |
I'm going to part with my boyfriend because of long-distance circumstances. I know it's the best for us if we part, but I also know that it will be the hardest I've ever done - leaving the man I love because I love him so much I don't want him (and me too) to suffer from a long distance relationship. I'm into BDSM. And, although my parents are very open-minded, I consider it being filthy. I don't want to like it, but that's me. And I don't want to be me. I'm going to university soon. I will lose all my friends, since they will visit universities far away from mine. And I'm crap at finding new friends. |
| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | |
| 10:12 pm [anon_mod] |
I love my parents, but sometimes I just hate them. |
| Thursday, May 14th, 2009 | |
| 9:15 pm [anon_mod] |
I don't feel like I have much going on in my life right now, but I am good at acting like I am content. |
| Sunday, May 10th, 2009 | |
| 1:26 am [anon_mod] |
Maybe it's the fact that I look forward on phoning you so much that makes the conversation turn sad. I don't know. Maybe my expectations are too high. But you saying that we were just not able to talk to each other was damn hard for me. You took it back seconds after, but my mood dropped to the lowest level ever when I heard that. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't react so hard. But it's me. And then, being quiet just because we really could't find a topic without you saying something that made me cry harder was silly. We should have just stopped at this point, when you were already tired and I wasn't able to hold back the tears any longer. I'm sorry I didn't insist on that. I hope tomorrow we will have both found a way to cope with that - it was actually not something one should tear one's hair out. Sure, it was silly from both of us, but hey - I love you, and that shouldn't be disturbed by such things like "oops, I said a wrong word, please don't cry". I'm looking forward to tomorrow. But hopefully not too much. |