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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Anonymous confessions, letters, and rants' InsaneJournal:
| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 | |
| 11:03 am [nirvanafan666] |
There's this guy I have been friends with for about four years. We shared the same interests, especially in sex and porn business, and so we always talked about that a lot. He has never had a girlfriend (he's not the best looking guy ever, after all), I always had a boyfriend. Then, sometimes, he told me that he had a sexdream of me, which scared the shit out of me, because I didn't want him to have a knack on me for obvious reasons. After that, I didn't really know how to talk to him, but he didn't mention the dream later, so it was okay for a few months. Then, he started telling me that I was beautiful, that he weanted to touch my breasts and my ass and that he likes looking at me. Well, after that, I started to avoid him. Last weekend he asked whether he could visit me in my new hometown. Since I really like him still and it has been an awful lot of time not talking to him anymore, I told him yes. When he came, we had much fun, we were talking about everything and nothing for about 10 hours. Then we went to bed (he slept in my guestbed). when I wake up next morning and went to the bathroom, I heard he was already up. I needed some time, and when I came out of the bathroom, he was standing next to my living room's door and looked at me in a completely... strange way. I tried to make some small talk, but I was tired, so I headed off to the living room. When I passed him, he said "I just have to do this" and embraced me in a rather... sexual way. I knew that this situation would approach me sooner or later, so I turned to face him and asked what was going on. He said that he was very alone and needed me. I told him that I had a boyfriend, which he knew after all, but he wouldn't stop. He (never having had a girlfriend) asked whether he could touch me. I knew that it was wrong, but since I didn't care (I have been touched by so many guys at boarding school that I don't really care anymore) I told him yes, and so he did. He started at my ass and then came to my breasts, saying that he didn't imagine it like that but that he liked it. Then he said that he felt uncomfortable that he hadn't shown me his privates, but although I said that I would feel uncomfortable then, he showed me his penis. After that he said that it felt like unresolved tension, and I knew what that meant for him, but I told him that he wouldn't be getting more of me than what he already got. I went to my living room alone and dressed, and half an hour later, we met again in the kitchen and talked as if nothing happened. Two hours later he left. Now it feels like crap for me... I don't know what I'm going to do when I meet him next time, which will be in less than 5 months. I can't just forget it, because it was too much for me - it's not like getting told that my breasts look beautiful or whatever. So, I tried talking to a good friend of mine, but she doesn't know him, so she couldn't tell me anything I dind't know already. I've yet to tell my boyfriend, but this is going to get a lot harder - not because he will be jealous or something like that (he knows me, after all, and isn't bothered my me flirting around and stuff), but because he was at the same boarding school as me and knows that guy too. This is going to be hard... Well, whatever. It's a good feeling to write it all down. |
| Monday, November 2nd, 2009 | |
| 9:43 am [nirvanafan666] |
There's this guy that I met three years ago back in college. I only saw him a handful of times around campus, and, even though he was a nice guy, he didn't leave much of an impression on me. However, lately I've developed this huge crush on him, and I can't stop thinking about him--three years after I last saw him! I have sex dreams all the time about him, and I find myself wishing I would see him one more time. Strange how things like that happen... |
| Monday, October 26th, 2009 | |
| 10:40 am [nirvanafan666] |
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| Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 | |
| 12:33 pm [nirvanafan666] |
For the first time in ages, I feel wonderful. |
| Monday, September 7th, 2009 | |
| 8:50 pm [anon_mod] |
I work as a phone representative for a national company. I actually really like my job, and it makes me feel good to help customers out. I don't make a ton of money doing what I do, but I started this career later on in life, so I'm starting with at ground zero. I do NOT receive gratuities and bonuses for referring people to other products, so, before I state what I have to say, don't try using that against me. This is anonymous, so I have nothing to hide. I'm lucky enough that the place I work at has supportive supervisors who don't make me feel guilty about occasionally having to transfer a call to them. We do have petty little arguments in the division from time to time, but that's what happens when you get a group of women in their 20's working together. It's not written in my job description that I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO contact supervisors or managers in other departments to help you out. I do not receive a bonus for doing that. If you're late on a payment, then I'm more than willing to do what I can do to have any fees waived if it's just an honest mistake. If I can't get ahold of someone right away, then I'll send them an e-mail or leave a message to get back to me. However, if they decide they're not going to help you out after you've been late 20 times, then shut the fuck up and deal with it. If you're not contacting us when you first have financial issues, then it's your own damned fault. We will do what we can to change the date of the payment, work on a payment plan, or rebate a fee. If you're disabled and living from paycheck-to-paycheck, we understand that sometimes shit just happens and you occasionally go into the negative. However, if you're too stupid to get educated about how our bank works, and you continuously overdraw your account, screaming that you want to speak with a manager is not going to get you the results that you want. Insulting us, screaming obscenities, making legal threats, etc. isn't going to help you out, either. I'm more than willing to listen to someone who just needs to vent; I won't take that personally. But calling me a slut isn't going to help you. And I just wanted to say this much: People from Pennsylvania are the biggest assholes on the face of the planet. I would love nothing more than to have that fucking state wiped off the state of the planet. Believe me, nobody would care. |
| 2:57 pm [anon_mod] |
New Mod Needed I am not going to be able to continue even the small amount I'm doing for this community. Is anyone interested in taking over the anon-mod hat? Maybe even advertising the community? I'm also dropping Dear IJ, if anyone is interested in taking that one up. Please respond to this post if you have any interest. |
| Saturday, August 8th, 2009 | |
| 10:28 pm [anon_mod] |
I'm going to part with my boyfriend because of long-distance circumstances. I know it's the best for us if we part, but I also know that it will be the hardest I've ever done - leaving the man I love because I love him so much I don't want him (and me too) to suffer from a long distance relationship. I'm into BDSM. And, although my parents are very open-minded, I consider it being filthy. I don't want to like it, but that's me. And I don't want to be me. I'm going to university soon. I will lose all my friends, since they will visit universities far away from mine. And I'm crap at finding new friends. |
| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | |
| 10:12 pm [anon_mod] |
I love my parents, but sometimes I just hate them. |
| Thursday, May 14th, 2009 | |
| 9:15 pm [anon_mod] |
I don't feel like I have much going on in my life right now, but I am good at acting like I am content. |
| Sunday, May 10th, 2009 | |
| 1:26 am [anon_mod] |
Maybe it's the fact that I look forward on phoning you so much that makes the conversation turn sad. I don't know. Maybe my expectations are too high. But you saying that we were just not able to talk to each other was damn hard for me. You took it back seconds after, but my mood dropped to the lowest level ever when I heard that. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't react so hard. But it's me. And then, being quiet just because we really could't find a topic without you saying something that made me cry harder was silly. We should have just stopped at this point, when you were already tired and I wasn't able to hold back the tears any longer. I'm sorry I didn't insist on that. I hope tomorrow we will have both found a way to cope with that - it was actually not something one should tear one's hair out. Sure, it was silly from both of us, but hey - I love you, and that shouldn't be disturbed by such things like "oops, I said a wrong word, please don't cry". I'm looking forward to tomorrow. But hopefully not too much. |
| Tuesday, April 7th, 2009 | |
| 10:09 pm [anon_mod] |
I know that my younger sister is sexually active. I think that she might be pregnant. I honestly don't know what to feel: On one hand, her youth would be over and she would have to be a mommy. But on the other hand, it would add a new someone to our family, and the fact that s/he would be my sister's child (we're very close) would make it all the more special. |
| Sunday, April 5th, 2009 | |
| 9:57 pm [anon_mod] |
Today I noticed the very first time in my life how dependent I am from certain people. My boyfriend. My parents. My brother and my sister. My roommates. My classmates. Some of my teachers. All of them are so damn important in my life, I can't imagine living without them. And I think it is great to have so many friends and beloved people - but what happens when I have to leave many of them behind when I leave school? |
| Monday, March 2nd, 2009 | |
| 9:45 pm [anon_mod] |
I want to commit suicide, and I would do it if I weren't such a coward and if there weren't so many people who would miss me when I was dead. |
| Sunday, February 8th, 2009 | |
| 2:09 pm [anon_mod] |
I love my boyfriend. I was shocked when he told me he was in love with me for several years before, when I was in another relationship. He said that his heart broke when I told him I was with my ex-boyfriend. My last relationship lasted ages, nearly three years, and I am so glad that he didn't give up and is with me now... I love him! When I was totally stressed out these last days, he was always there for me, which I really appreciate. Yesterday I did suck in school so much that I didn't want to do anything anymore and was sulking, crying, screaming with rage, you get the point. Know what he did? He bought me a bar of chocolate (from my favorite TV-ad) and wrote some lines of poetry on it, along the lines of "Everything will be fine!" That was the cutest I've ever experienced. And after having experienced someone like him, I have to state that LIFE DOES NOT SUCK. |
| Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 | |
| 10:12 pm [anon_mod] |
You claim that you support gay rights, and that you're a nice person who's considerate of other people's feelings. But a nice, considerate GLBT ally would never, ever use the word "faggot" to describe a person, and yet you've done it repeatedly. I even called you on it once, and your excuse was that you only apply it to straight people. Um, news flash sweetie, but that doesn't matter. You're using a word that is almost always used to describe gay men in an insulting fashion, therefore you are using a homophobic slur. You are quite possibly the worst ally ever, and I'm not sure I want someone like you fighting for my rights. And every time this happens I just want to flat-out tell you that you are the biggest hypocrite I've ever met and take you off my friend's list, but I don't because I'm hoping that one day you will listen to reason. |
| Thursday, January 1st, 2009 | |
| 3:54 pm [anon_mod] |
I would like to rip off your pro-eating disorder head, shit down your throat, and force you to digest it. I have NO idea about how many calories it would be, but I'd give you a blue or a pink star or whatever nonsense awards you give out for sparkletwinklepuff bullshit. Also, you must be a fucking moron if you can't figure out how to make all of your posts flocked by default. May 2009 find you the receiver of scat play! |
| 3:51 pm [anon_mod] |
I'm really confused. Me and my ex-boyfriend have been in a relationship for nearly three years. It's less than two months that we broke up and I'm head over heels to gettting into the next relationship. With a guy of whom I don't know whether I really love him or if it is just because I need someone to cling on. It would be unfair to him if I told him I loved him, but it would be unfair to myself if I'd say that I didn't. I'm really confused. On Tuesday I'm going to visit him at his hometown, and I'll stay there over night. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm looking forward. Some people tell me what I'm doing right now is bad, some say it is my decision, which it definitely is, but I don't know whether it's the right one. I'm really confused. |
| Saturday, December 20th, 2008 | |
| 9:15 pm [anon_mod] |
I can't stand several people on my flist. I'd remove them but the resulting whining would be epic. |
| 6:57 pm [anon_mod] |
I dislike sharing my musical interests with people I know IRL, because I am sick and tired of people calling me weird for it. Mind, I am a person who "dresses normally" and doesn't idolize a person like Marilyn Manson, but I'm "weird" for liking Neo-Classical and old-school Industrial (Experimental) music. And, you know, I just never cared for musicians like Prince and Nine Inch Nails. Of course Prince is am amazing and talented musician, but I just never got into him. But, you know, apparently I don't know "good" music, because I don't listen to NIN, The Cure, or Death Cab for Cutie. Or modern pop-country! |
| Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 | |
| 8:50 pm [anon_mod] |
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