|chibirisuchan (chibirisuchan) wrote in and_cupcakes,|
@ 2008-09-01 02:36:00
|Entry tags:||character: yuffie, course: drinks, fandom: final fantasy vii|
Before the descent of a giant flaming hunk of interstellar ice and grit notably soured the population of Midgar on big chunks of ice in general, not to mention increasing the difficulty of finding the power to make random quantities of ice by an order of magnitude, there was a bar-ahem-"cocktail lounge" under the Plate called Maison d'Écureuil. They mostly served Soldiers during the troops' off-hours, but every once in a while small random street rats would find their way in one way or another and make big shiny eyes at the bartender on account of how that stuff looked awfully like materia and materia was the best thing in the world
especially when rounded up and returned to one's own pockets as was only proper.
So the bartender nodded and patted the street rats on the head and made some materia-ice just-like-the-Soldiers only not quite just like the Soldiers on account of how he didn't want to explain how a twelve year old ended up dead of massive alcohol poisoning in his bar.
He took a particular pride in carrying flavors to match the full line of materia, and one of the things that kept the Soldiers coming back was a long-running range of bets on what exactly went into each of the materia-ice types. You could only order by color, after all, and it was the luck of the draw which precise flavor you'd get within that color range. So one time your 'magic' materia ice might taste of lime, and another time of kiwis, and another of tea, and you wouldn't know for sure what you'd ended up with until you'd equipped it onto your spoon.
The betting pool eventually settled down into a list of the flavors you might run into at Maison d'Écureuil:
|Materia...||As served to Yuffie||As served to Soldiers|
|Spearmint syrup||...and Rumpleminze peppermint liqueur|
|Lightning||Coconut milk dusted with wasabi||Gin and vermouth dusted with wasabi|
|Restore||Sweetened condensed milk and mint||Clear creme de cacao, mint, coconut rum, and cream|
|Fire||Habanero lime||...and tequila and triple sec|
|Poison||Lemonade and green apple syrup||Lager, cider, and chartreuse (snakebite)|
|Heal||Apple syrup, mint, and ginger||...and coconut rum|
|Revive||Peach syrup and ginger||Peach schnapps and ginger|
|Seal||Chamomile or lavender syrup||...and Everclear|
|Transform||Lemon-lime soda||...and Pisang Ambon liqueur ("green frog")|
|Mystify||Catnip syrup (or mint + lemongrass)||...and limoncello|
|Time||Anise syrup||Absinthe, bitters, and gin|
|Gravity||Mountain Dew||Vodka, gin, triple sec, Midori, pineapple, and grapefruit juice (or vodka and margarita mix)|
|Destruct||Kiwi puree & lime||...with tequila and triple sec|
|Barrier||Key lime, sugar, & mint||...and rum|
|Exit||Wheatgrass juice||...and gin|
|Comet||Granny Smith apple syrup||...with Sour Apple Pucker schnapps or apple vodka|
|FullCure||Chocolate mint syrup||Creme de menthe and Irish cream|
|Shield||Pistachio syrup||...and spiced rum|
|Contain||Key lime, peach, cranberry, and almond syrup||Key lime, Southern Comfort, peach schnapps, amaretto, triple sec, and cranberry juice (a "bondage" cocktail)|
|Ultima||Kiwi, honeydew, mint, and coconut|| Jagermeister and Goldschlager (or Rumpleminze)
(since anything with Jagermeister seems to have the word "army" in its title)
|Master magic||Green tea syrup||Jewel's "special green tea": Midori, gin, Stoli vodka, rum, and a little peppermint schnapps|
|Deathblow||Durian juice||...and Listerine|
|Sense||Pear juice||...and St. Germain elderflower liqueur|
|Steal||Peach juice||...and champagne|
|Enemy Skill||Dulce de leche||Bailey's & butterscotch schnapps|
|Throw||Sauerkraut brine||...doesn't really need anything else to cause you to live up to the materia inspiration|
|Manipulate||Honey-simmered chestnut puree||...and Scotch|
|Morph||Asian pear syrup||...and St. Germain elderflower liqueur|
|Double cut||Pineapple and coconut||...and rum|
|Slash all||Lemon syrup (of course)||...and Absolut citron vodka|
|Mime||Cantaloupe||...and peach schnapps|
|W-magic||Mulled apple cider syrup and caramel||...with Goldschlager and spiced rum|
|W-item||Apricot syrup and orange blossom water||Cognac, apricot liqueur, and orange juice|
|Master Command||Pineapple-blend juice||...plus vodka and a splash of Galliano|
|Choco-Mog||Redcurrant syrup||...with lakka (Finnish cloudberry liqueur)|
|Shiva||Rosewater & lychee||...and Chambord|
|Ifrit||Cinnamon red-hot candies||...smashed and soaked in Everclear|
|Ramuh||Blackcurrant syrup||Creme de cassis|
|Titan||Tsubu-an (chunky sweet red bean paste)||...and Frangelico|
|Odin||Blood orange syrup||...with Cointreau and cognac|
|Kjata||Guava syrup||...with white wine|
|Alexander||Strawberry syrup and condensed milk||...with clear creme de cacao and brandy|
|Bahamut||Cherry syrup||...and vodka|
|Neo Bahamut||Wild cherry syrup||...and more vodka|
|Bahamut Sin||Black cherry syrup||...and even more vodka|
|Bahamut Zero||Maraschino cherry flavoring||...and Everclear|
|Phoenix||Acai juice and ginger ale||...with cachaca or dark rum|
|Hades||Pomegranate syrup||...with tequila and orange juice|
|Typhoon||Grenadine & citrus juice||...with vodka, 2-3 rums, amaretto, and gin|
|Knights of the Round||Cranberry & peach or white grape||...with aquavit|
|Master Summon||Hawaiian Punch||...with coconut rum|
|Added cut||Blueberry and lemon||...with Father o'Leary's butterscotch cream liqueur|
|Added effect||Banana, coconut milk, and almond||Amaretto, rum, banana liqueur, and a splash of espresso|
|All||Blood orange syrup||Blue curacao|
|Counter||Honey, melted vanilla ice cream, and cinnamon||Goldschlager, vanilla rum, and Xtabentun honey liqueur|
|Elemental||Raspberry and orange||Vodka, gin, rum, chambord, and blue curacao|
|Final Attack||Black raspberry, white chocolate, a splash of lemon, and condensed milk||Chambord, white creme de cacao, vanilla rum, and limoncello|
|HP absorb||Blue Gatorade||...and vodka|
|Magic counter||Blue Hawaiian punch||Blue Hawaiian schnapps|
|MP absorb||Bubblegum flavoring||Bailey's, banana liqueur, and blue curacao ("Bazooka Joe")|
|MP turbo||Citrus juice mix and a bit of rum flavoring||Vodka, tequila, rum, gin, curacao, sour mix, lemon-lime soda ("Blue Motorcycle")|
|Quadra magic||Blueberry, blackberry, blackcurrant, and raspberry||Chambord, creme de cassis, and rum|
|Sneak attack||Cola flavoring||...and the rest of the Midgar Iced Tea ingredients|
|Steal as well||Jones berry lemonade||...and Everclear|
|Chocobo lure||Cloudberry syrup||...with lakka|
|Counterattack||Desert pear||...with mezcal|
|Cover||Wild blackberry||...with creme de mure|
|Enemy away||Juniper berries and dark plum||...with gin and vermouth|
|Enemy lure||Violet syrup (or crushed and syruped pastilles)||...with creme de violette|
|Exp Plus||Elderberry syrup||St Germain liqueur or Ysgawen elderberry wine|
|Gil Plus||Apple and grape juice||Boone's Farm... anything really|
|HP Plus||Chrysanthemum blossom syrup||...with kaoliang|
|HP-MP||Grape juice and fruit punch||Sangria|
|Long Range||Plum juice||Umeshu or maesil ju|
|Luck Plus||Passionfruit syrup||Charleston Follies liqueur|
|Magic Plus||Crabapple and apple juice||Mernaya or Waldviertler rowanberry liqueur|
|Mega All||Grape syrup||Grappa|
|MP Plus||Lemon, orange, and anise syrup||Aquavit, blue curacao, and lemon juice|
|Preemptive||Coconut milk, cinnamon, and vanilla||Vana Tallinn 100 proof|
|Speed Plus||Blackthorn and plum syrup||Sloe gin|
|Underwater||Sea-buckthorn and red grape||...with vodka|
|Meteor||Espresso and chocolate syrup||
Scandinavian salted-licorice soaked in sambuca (if you ask Cloud)
|Holy||Coconut milk or sweetened condensed milk simmered with jasmine flowers||Nigori sake (unfiltered white sake) and Monin jasmine syrup (or white peach)|
So, like we were saying, ice used to be really cheap and easy to make before they got a megaton or so of it dropped on their heads, so quite a few people had gotten the notion of hmm, maybe this is a good gig here, and before anybody quite knew what was going on, there were materia-ice sellers wandering the streets with carts holding a couple dozen bottles of syrup and some scavenged engine hooked up to a compressor on one end and a sharp bit of steel and a chute on the other. And several of them even managed to survive Meteorfall on account of being eminently portable and not plugged into the central power system.
After that, it was a matter of time until it migrated back into bars and cafes, because bars and cafes could stock a wider range of flavors than a cart that had to be portable by definition, and someone got the bright idea of trying to bootleg-er-I-mean-'leave homage to' the Maison d'Écureuil materia ices.
1. Assembling your own bootleg-I-mean-homage factory:
Collect up a shaved ice device (far left) and whatever alcohol and flavor mixings you can lay hands on...
If you have a choice of hand-cranked snow shavers or powered snow shavers? Unless you have a Soldier hanging out in your spare room, go for the powered version. It took your humble bootlegger about 15 minutes to crank enough for three samples, but I only got to eat one on account of how the first two tries at molding the ice had melted by the time I had enough to fill the mold. But it was really light and fluffy...
More of the assorted flavoring candidates.
Easiest way to make shaved ice flavoring ever! But that wouldn't have made for much of a write-up, so I decided to make some from scratch too, starting with the simple syrup...
Ordinarily simple syrup is one to one sugar to water, which is what I started with. (I used half a cup of each.) Bring it to a boil while stirring - it'll still look white because of the bubbling, but once you take it off the heat it'll settle down clear and nicely pourable. But you may want to do it two to one sugar to water in order to have less water pouring over delicate shaved ice and promptly destroying the structure you've spent all that time grinding away to make, as shown further below...
Gotta have one of each color available, after all.
Red: 2 Tbsp strawberry daiquiri mix, 1/2 Tbsp rum (proportions shamelessly copied from the mix)
Yellow: 2 Tbsp cooled simple syrup, 1/2 tsp lemon flavoring
Green: 2 Tbsp cooled simple syrup, 1/2 tsp matcha powder (there's a pattern forming here...)
Blue: 1 Tbsp cooled simple syrup, 1 Tbsp milk, 2-3 drops coconut flavor, 3 violet pastilles, a toothpick-dip of food coloring
Purple: 2 Tbsp cooled simple syrup, 1 tsp alcohol, toothpick-dips of food coloring
This was after I'd given up on actually molding the ice because it disintegrated when I tried to pack it into a mold and then unmold it; mashing it roughly into shape with a spoon came up with something nice and fluffy...
...and the addition of one of the flavors promptly disintegrated at least half of it. (Hence the 'freeze it into your ice if you can' recommendation. Note the completely-undissolved violet pastilles too, sheesh.) But it was really tasty.
Self, says I, there's no way in heck anyone not gifted with Soldier muscles can make a business out of this when cranking all that by hand. So, off to the mechanical solutions! Step one was the mini food processor, to which I added crushed ice to give it a bit of a head start. It looked promising:
...but didn't turn out as promising as it looked.
Quite a bit tastier than it looked, but not very attractive or salable. Stupid flaming hunk of space debris going and taking out a person's well-tuned shaved-ice machine which would otherwise have been quite scavengable if not for the giant hunk of building dropped across it...
The next attempt would have involved a blender, since blenders are quite common bar equipment and usually intended for turning ice into slush of some thickness or other, except that I have yet to
steal loot "acquire" a working blender from anywhere in the wreckage. Ah well.
If you'll excuse me, I've got some more buildings to ransack. There may not be Soldiers around any more, but there are still Turks, and Turks and alcoholic substances are a match made in an enterprising businessman's dreams... so long as one has acquired some really high-end collateral damage insurance, that is.
[ooc: I'd been kicking around the notion of materia-food as an and_cupcakes entry for a while - materia-flavored takoyaki-style fried pancake balls with fruit bits inside? Materia-edition Baskin Robbins ice cream flavors? Materia jello-shots that nobody will give Yuffie, much to her disgust? Materia milkshakes/smoothies? And then Jewel wrote her materia ice drabble, and then she and I started kicking ideas around, and tormenting Yuffie with a nonalcoholic version while the Soldiers got a different set cropped up again, so I had to run with it, even though it kinda doubled my research time on account of how I know next door to nothing about alcohol and did a loooot of flavor research and disturbingly-appropriately-named-cocktai
(The 'Typhoon' materia is a Hurricane, for example. And of course Hades is pomegranate themed, and of course Poison is a Snakebite, and of course Transform is based on a cocktail named for a frog, and of course Alexander is, well, an Alexander. And of course the chocobo-related ones involve cloudberries... well over half of the flavors have in-jokes of one sort or another.)
*waves the Overthinkers' Club flag enthusiastically, and then goes to post and fall asleep, on account of how it is two bloody thirty in the morning*
ETA next day: stupid stupid stupid Picasa, forcing people to go through their interface to get anything bigger than a thumbnail. Okay, TinyPic it is...