Apparently constructive criticism counted as less than extreme respect. Kakashi considered a future filled with bugs.

“I think if I saw a man-sized cockroach face coming at me, I’d run the other way,” he said, after a moment.

Morita gave a soundless laugh, shoulders shaking. “You’ve got guts,” he said. “Ever try a kusarigama?”

A sickle on a weighted chain, good for middle-range and close-range, depending on whether you swung or stabbed. “I prefer a tanto for a short-blade,” Kakashi said. “Chains are useful, but I like a longer length than a kusarigama provides.”

Eyes the color of light whiskey gave Kakashi a weighing look and apparently judged him lacking in weapons, because Morita said, “Kyoketsu-shoge. There's one around here somewhere.”

The female assistant hefted herself up again, limping into the stacks without complaint. Morita’s measuring tape snapped around Kakashi’s neck.

Kakashi managed not to twitch.

“Do you need to keep that eye closed?” Morita asked, flicking two fingers towards the shuttered Sharingan.

“Most of the time,” Kakashi said.

“A hitai-ate won’t fit beneath an ANBU mask,” Morita said briskly. “Can’t give you an eye-patch, either. Mask’d get in your way if you needed to yank it off. Does it hurt to hold it closed for long?”

“It’s not comfortable,” Kakashi admitted.

“Hm,” said Morita. “I could rig a screen over the eye-hole, with a thread to yank it off—but you don’t want trailing ribbons flapping about. Something chakra would burn away? A mesh, maybe. You’d need to replace it every time, though.” He slapped Kakashi on the bare biceps. “You’re a challenge!”

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry?”

“Just stop blocking with your chest, and we’re in business,” Morita said, and returned to his increasingly invasive measurements, humming a cheerful warbling tune. His hands were warm and professional, like the better class of medics, but Kakashi couldn’t help tensing when the tape measure laid along the flat of his jaw and touched his masked mouth.

Morita pulled it away, coiling it around his wrist. “That should do it. Ah, thank you, Aiko.”