Kurenai wasn’t the knife, she was the twist.

Kakashi let his right eye go even more half-lidded than usual, a shroud to think behind, and considered the question seriously. Rin was precious to him: known fact. Would he put her life in Ryouma’s hands?

“For a mission with a straight kill, yes, I would,” he decided. “Tousaki can handle clean assassinations. But for something dirtier…”

Missions with complications, like innocent targets, where killing felt like murder.

"Tousaki's kind," Kakashi said, "and I think no one's bothered to tell him. He doesn't know how to put it away, and it bites him afterwards."

Kurenai absorbed that with a nod. “So he assisted in killing the primary target’s teenage daughter, on this last mission, as well as the girl’s mother and the target himself. That’s fodder enough for guilt, if you’re inclined to brooding. Did he turn solely inward, or did he at any time lash out at the team?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Not that I know of, but I was unconscious for three quarters of the aftermath.”

“I suppose you had good reason.” She picked up her pen and made another note — coded shorthand, Kakashi guessed, since he couldn’t read it upside-down. “It’s not unusual for agents to struggle with a mission like this, but we can't overlook the possibility that it may be a symptom of something deeper. I'll see about getting him an appointment for a secondary review.”

A thin thread of relief wove through Kakashi’s ribcage. In all likelihood Intel would sign Ryouma off after a cursory review, since he wasn't attacking his teammates or taking a kunai to his wrists. The definition of a mentally healthy agent was a nebulous one. But as long as someone was taking a second look...

Kakashi didn't think too hard about why that was important to him.

“Good,” he said.

“And how are you coping?” Kurenai asked.

Kakashi gave her a dry glance. “With which part?”

“Should I start a numbered list?” she inquired.

“I can.” He held a hand up, one finger raised. "One, civilian deaths: necessary for Konoha's safety, sanctioned by the Hokage. I have no issues." None that wouldn't resolve with time, anyway. He raised another finger. "Two, attack by Iebara and his team: I defeated an S-class ninja, obtained his unique jutsu, and didn't die. No issues there, either." Another finger. "Three, mission aftermath: mostly a cloud of drugs. No issues I can remember." And none he wanted to dig up. He was fairly certain nothing but embarrassment lay that way. A final finger. "Four, my captain is facing suspension, investigation, and questions about his mental stability, and the rest of my team is upset about it. Depending on the outcome, I'll submit a report if I have complaints."

“And do your best to see all of us suspended from service in return?” she said, desert dry.

Kakashi smiled coldly. “It’s a thought.”

Minato had wanted loyalty from him, Rin wanted friends for him, ANBU relied on cohesion between its teams. A lot of time and effort had gone into getting Kakashi invested, and now he was, and now the team was under threat. If Kurenai really thought he’d stop at a report, she’d forgotten everything about him.

Kurenai’s red gaze was level and steady, a diluted Sharingan without the hypnosis. She regarded him in silence for a long moment, before speaking. “I didn’t think anyone but Yondaime-sama could win that kind of loyalty from you. And Namiashi-taichou already has Katsuko and his new lieutenant advocating for him just as fiercely. He must be a rare kind of leader, to inspire so much passion so quickly.”

“Would ANBU prefer mediocrity?” Kakashi said, layering blandness over a rising urge to be vicious.