Ame's Insanity (amejisuto) wrote in ames_weirdness, @ 2010-01-09 15:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | buffy tvs, damned!verse, spike/xander |
Damned With You -- Spike/Xander Rated NC17 2/20
Title: Damned With You
Author: amejisuto
Fandom: BTVS
Summary: An accident at Xander's construction site changes his life forever.
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Written for darkhaven's birthday in March of 2005.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings: Character death, bloodplay
Beta'd by kitty_poker1, thank you! suki_blue cheerleaded on this fic too.
Notes: Yet another older fic. Enjoy.
Part Two
His hands shook as he tore open the envelope, and pulled the page inside of it out to read.
Spike,
If you’re reading this, well, I guess my ticket is just about up. I counted on the fact that you wouldn’t jump the gun and pull this envelope out unless it was really bad. I only hope you and the girls are still around. That’s why I couldn’t trust something like this to Willow. She might be my oldest friend but she’d panic. I know I can trust you with this, no matter what might be happening when you read it.
First of all, the reason why I bugged you about your ID’s and fake Green Card was simple. You, my love, are the recipient of my life insurance. Anya had this thing about insurance after Joyce’s death and I had to agree. If something ever happened to me I want the people I loved taken care of.
This includes an extra policy for Accidental Death and Dismemberment. Let’s face it, being a Scoobie makes it more likely that I’m gonna lose a body piece or two. One hundred thousand dollars, Spike. I know you're thinking you don’t care right now but you’re going to, so just keep your calm and listen to what I’m about to say.
The reason why I’m telling you this is so you know how important it is that I’m declared legally dead, in a hospital preferably. There can’t be any doubt on the authorities' part.
We haven’t talked about this, I thought we’d have time. But I knew there were only so many disasters I could escape before I finally got hurt seriously; it’s just a law of averages and numbers.
God, this is hard to write. A month ago I would have never even thought about it. See how much you’ve changed me, Blondie? You’ve made me a better person. And I love you. I’m sitting here writing this while you’re sulking that we’re not playing hide the salami and I even love the sound of your pouting.
I know, you’re the Big Bad. You don’t pout. Whatever.
The thing is, Spike, that we haven’t had enough time to talk about our future. Long range goals and stuff like that. You know, if we want to stay in an apartment or get a house with a big gothic fence for our pet demon dog that tries to eat the mailman.
But if I’m hurt, like not coming out of a coma hurt or something like that, and you know I’m going to die, be it later that day or a week or even a year from whenever, I want you to turn me, Spike.
That is, if you want me.
I don’t want to be all grrr and try to take over the world. I trust you, Spike, to keep that from happening. Ideally, Tara can do a spell that lets me keep my soul. I love Wills but considering her recent track record with magic it has to be Tara. And that’s also why I want to make sure there isn’t any question I’m dead. You’ll get my insurance money and we can invest it and never have to worry about working or buying blood and smokes.
But we haven’t talked yet about if, well, if you want me around for the next century or two. If you don’t, hey, that’s okay. Just…make sure I’m not in any pain, okay? Put me out of my misery.
Okay, enough of the depressing crap. If you decide to turn me, give the guys these envelopes here. I’ve explained my wish that you turn me in great detail to Buffy, so she won’t think you’re just doing it for your own jollies. Even had it notarized and everything. The same with the others. Tara’s has my plea to stick my soul on straight if she can.
And to give us a couple days running time if she can’t.
Guess I’ll see what you decide in a while. Make sure it’s what you want, I have.
Love,
Xander
Spike wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to laugh. He was so weak with relief and remorse all at once he nearly fell to the floor again. He had a second chance, a chance to take care of Xander. Bring him over and train him, keep him forever. Xander would make a beautiful Childe, dark and wickedly smart, even if he had a soul.
But still it tore at him that he’d never get to have a warm Xander come in from a long day of work, all tired and sweaty and smelling of sunshine. And even if he had the soul he’d be touched by the demon, by the darkness. How that would change his lover, he didn’t know.
He had been almost afraid to think of it.
Spike snorted. Who was he kidding? He had been willing to take up with a human that was his total opposite morally. Had changed his hunting patterns, even after the chip had worn out. He’d take Xander any way he could get him. He had loved his boy when Xander was warm and full of goodness.
And he would love his Childe, even though he’d be cold and in the darkness.
Spike gathered up the envelopes and reached for the phone. For this to work he’d need a few things set up. Clem had a van he could borrow and could get a hold of the keys to one of the mortuaries. That would be where he’d arrange to have Xander’s body sent. He didn’t want his Childe to have to claw his way through wood and concrete and dirt.
He’d also need a large supply of blood and somewhere quiet to take his Childe once he woke up. A newly risen vampire’s senses could be confusing, and between that and the hunger that every fledge awakens with, Xander might go a bit peculiar, even if he had his soul.
As he dialed the first in a long line of numbers he needed to call, he found himself hoping that Glinda could stick Xander’s soul back. He’d gotten rather fond of it.
Part Three