|Ame's Insanity (amejisuto) wrote in ames_weirdness,|
@ 2009-08-22 12:23:00
|Entry tags:||10 prompts, crossover, ncis, numb3rs, tony dinozzo/ian edgerton|
I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair - Tony DiNozzo/Surprise Rated PG
Title: I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair
Summary: Kate finds a way to make Tony stop mooning over Gibbs.
Pairing: Tony DiNozzo/Surprise, past Tony/Gibbs UST
Table, Prompt: Table 8, Dinner
Warnings: This is not going to be Tony/Gibbs, will never be Tony/Gibbs ... Gibbs missed out on Tony and Tony's moving on. So yeah, don't get your hopes up.
Author's Note: Yeah, I've kinda been obsessed over this other character, and then I got obsessed over the idea of him and Tony. And of course everyone who loves Tony has to write something about the episode Boxed In, it's a rule of fandom or something, and the bunny I got for mine had him in this established relationship and I realized I'd have to explain that first so ... here we are. I also thought it would be great that instead of Abby who gets Tony and helps him with his feelings with Gibbs, wouldn't it be great if it was Kate? And all that teasing and stuff was her way of helping him hide his true feelings?
Beta: The lovely and talented suki_blue! Stand up and take a bow sweetie, especially since I dragged you into two new fandoms for this! Thanks love!
I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair
"You know what you need to do, Tony? You need to get back on the horse. And I don't mean by dating the first floozy that comes along that will scratch your itch. You, my friend, need a relationship."
Tony DiNozzo wondered if the people in the restaurant would notice if he moved his plate over just a little and started banging his head on the table. "I know this, Kate, but let's face it, my taste in people I'd like to be in a permanent relationship with sucks. I think it's safer for all of us if I just stick to one night stands."
"But you're lonely, Tony."
Tony bit back his first statement, which was 'Duh!'. Kate would smack him harder than Gibbs did. As he'd come to know her, Kate Todd had become a combination best friend/partner/sister type figure and knew more about Tony than anyone else ever had, including his father and various step-mothers. Which was good, because he'd never really had that before, not even with his frat brothers, but it was also bad because she could and would kick his ass six ways from Sunday and then prop her feet up on his broken body and file her nails.
"Hey, I've got you, Kate." And he had Abby somewhat. Abby was the other woman in his life he considered a true friend. Problem was Abbs didn't always look beneath the mask Tony wore and took him at face value. Kate didn't, and knew that Tony liked to chase men just as much as he liked to chase women.
"Tony ... you have got to get over your infatuation with Gibbs."
Ah. And the elephant in the room had just been pointed out.
"I have." Kate gave him an incredulous look and Tony turned his attention to his steak. Maybe if he stabbed it really hard with his knife he'd feel a bit better. "I really have, Kate. That whole 'We are at war, twenty-four seven while taking a crap' thing really put an end to any and all dreams that Jethro Gibbs was going to throw out Rule #12 and screw my brains out in the elevator. I mean, yeah I screwed up and took a long lunch with a chick who happened to be a terrorist. I feel crappy about that, because she and Ari were holding you hostage, Kate, but it's not like she had a sign around her neck."
Kate snorted. "Like you were looking at her neck."
Tony gave her his best smirk. "Didn't see any signs or tattoos anywhere else either, and believe me I was looking."
"I'm sure you were." Kate finished the last of her Chicken Parmesan and pushed her plate away. They usually met for dinner two or three times a month when the cases had been slow. "And while you've admitted to yourself that Gibbs isn't going to have a relationship with you, that hasn't stopped you from wishing that he would. You need to forget about that and move on with your life."
Tony pushed away his plate, the last few bites of his steak mocking him. Conversations like these always made him lose his appetite. "I know, I know. It's harder to do than you think though and I've tried to wash Gibbs right out of my hair."
Kate laughed. "I should have known you love Rodgers and Hammerstein."
Tony felt himself blushing and shrugged. "Well, yeah. Besides, South Pacific was nominated for three Oscars and two Golden Globes. It's a classic."
"Yeah, well, the song is right. You need to get Gibbs totally out of your system."
"It's like there's something I can take that'll make me forget, Kate."
"You need to go on a date, a real one. Not go clubbing with some bimbo whose IQ isn't as big as her bra size."
"Hey, the girl I was out with last Saturday worked at the Smithsonian!"
Kate glared at him. "Tony, she ran the gift shop, that doesn't count. Her name was Tiffy for god's sake! Who the hell names their child Tiffy?!"
"A mother whose name was Matilda. Tiffy said her Mom wanted her to have a cute sounding name."
Kate made a gagging sound. "And the best she could come up with is Tiffy? God. And can I say that I'm amazed you talked to Tiffy long enough to find out about her mother?"
Tony rolled his eyes but privately admitted Kate had a point. While he liked dating both men and women he usually dated women for fun. It was easy to date women; there was no guessing if they were attracted to men for the most part, no worrying about being seen, no hiding. A man and a woman could go out to the movies or to dinner and no one would think twice.
If he dated a man ... well, everything became more difficult. He would worry about anyone seeing them. Tony might be a civilian but he was still connected to the Navy through NCIS and the U. S. Government frowned upon gays and bisexuals.
Hell, they probably frowned on anything that wasn't the missionary position with your lawfully wedded wife, or at least the Republicans did and they were in charge at the moment. Democrats got a bit kinky behind closed doors.
Add in the fact that they worked a lot of unpredictable hours, and Gibbs had this thing where Tony had better be available when his boss called him no matter if it was their day off or not, and dating just about anyone seriously became a total mess.
The waiter appeared and they both ordered coffee and dessert. The restaurant was famous for their brownies and they both ordered one with vanilla ice cream on top. Tony had to laugh; they were both dressed in business casual in a family restaurant. They stuck out like sore thumbs but it was worth it for the brownies. Not even his nausea at discussing his feelings would make him pass up a brownie.
Once the waiter had brought them their dessert, he left them again, allowing Tony to pick back up the thread of conversation. "It's not like it's easy to just ask a guy out, Kate, unless you go to a gay bar."
"If you go to a gay bar, you'll just pick up himbos. You need someone to take Gibbs out of your head, not for a one or two night stand."
"Yeah, well, let's face it; Gibbs is a tough act to follow."
Kate paused for a moment before taking a bite of chocolaty goodness and vanilla. A part of Tony couldn’t help but feel that it was too bad that he was more into guys, because Kate would be perfect for him. "True. Gibbs is all dangerous and intense and commanding. If he wasn't such a grade A bastard, I'd have a thing for him too."
Tony snorted. "You'd have more luck than I do, Gibbs flirts with you once in a while at least."
"Then what do you call that head smacking thing?"
"A newspaper to the nose." And it was true. At first he'd enjoyed every one of those head smacks because it was something Gibbs did that seemed to imply a sort of affection. Like sticking frogs down the back of a girl's dress or pulling pig tails. However, it was becoming more and more like the affection one would give to their pet and while Tony didn’t mind it really, he wanted to be more than just Gibb's loyal dog.
He liked being Gibb's senior agent, and he reveled in the fact that one of the toughest men he knew trusted him to watch his back, but Tony wanted to have more than just a job and had to face the fact that Gibbs wasn't going to give it to him.
"Oh, Tony... "
Tony flushed and realized he must have said that out loud. Damn. He hated when his subconscious did the talking for him, it always got him in trouble. Before he could say anything though, Kate sat up in her chair and a smirk crossed her face. Whatever she was about to say was not going to be good.
"I know!" She bounced in her seat, acting a little too much like Abby on a caffeine high and Tony's feeling of doom grew stronger. "I know just the guy to set you up with! He's out of town right now, he's working in Arizona or somewhere but he'd be perfect for you! Best of all he's an agent and travels a lot so if you want a relationship with him you're gonna have to do a lot of talking over the Internet and phone so it won't just be about the sex."
Tony couldn't help but waggle his eyebrows at her. "I don't know, Kate, there's always something to be said about good old fashioned phone sex."
She gave him a dirty look. "Remind me to never touch your cell phone again, DiNozzo."
"Come on, Kate, don't tell me you've never gotten all hot and heavy over the phone."
That got him a death glare. "We are not talking about me, we are talking about the fact that you need a date, and I know the perfect guy for you."
Tony groaned. "This is not a good idea, Kate."
Kate gave him her most charming smile and Tony felt what little backbone he had turn to Jello. "Why, Tony, anyone would think that you didn't trust me."
Two weeks went by and Kate didn’t say anything more and Tony began to think he was going to get out of the blind date from hell. Then his luck turned sour, starting with Petty Officer Swain smashing a lamp over his head and giving him yet another concussion.
Kate must have been waiting for the head injury, hoping it would make Tony forget his ambivalence, because two days later he was informed that he would be meeting his date at the Capital City Brewing company for dinner at 7 p.m. on Friday night. It was a good place to meet a blind date really, plenty of people and open spaces, right in the middle of downtown.
Besides, while Kate might pick at him and drive him up the wall, it wasn't as if she was going to set him up with John Wayne Gacy or anything.
Still he felt weird, sitting at the bar, not knowing who he was there to meet. He'd dressed casually for the most part, but Kate hadn't even given him a clue, saying that Tony would know who he was when he saw him.
It was five minutes after the hour when the door opened and Tony felt like he was kicked in the liver.
The man looked to be his height, maybe just a hair shorter than his own 6' 2" , He had on black dress pants, a gun metal gray silk shirt and a leather coat. It seemed to Tony as if a predator just walked in the bar, all sleek and deadly.
What really got Tony though was the snake skin boots. Who knew he had a kink for cowboy boots?
Tony mentally kicked his libido in the groin and tried not to whimper when the man walked straight to him and gave him a smile.
Tony gave the man his most charming smile. "Yep. I'm assuming Kate sent you?"
The man nodded and gave him a smile and Tony's libido woke up and kicked him back. "Hey. My name is Ian. Ian Edgerton."
They shook hands and Tony felt as if an electrical spark ran through him and he had a very bad feeling that he was going to owe Kate big for the rest of his life.