Anthony J. Crowley: Hell's Most Approachable Demon (evil_ish) wrote in almost_paradise, @ 2014-01-11 18:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | crowley - good omens, river song - doctor who |
Building A Tradition... Or Trying To [tag: River Song]
There was no pond. Truthfully, for Crowley, that had probably been the most disappointing part of this entire island exile. He and the angel had a tradition with ponds that involved bread and ducks. Hard to have a tradition when there were no ducks. Harder still to have ducks to feed bread to if there was no pond to lurk around and tempt the creatures to their doom. And then salvation.
It was tradition.
Now he was going to have to think of something new and benign enough to entertain the two of them without falling too heavily on either side of their spectrums. Not that Crowley would admit to having any degree of consideration for the angel to not build tradition completely around evil. No, he would explain it as how difficult it as tempt something to evil when it was already heavily in the evil camp already. Besides... Aziraphale was just enough of a bastard to be worth talking to. Repeatedly.
That left the demon to try different things on, see how they fit, and go from there. The available avian species were a waste of time, as Crowley as limited as far as how to mess with them without actually causing the things to explode. Ducks were easy, when they dove, he just kept them down there for a bit longer than necessary. So, those were out.
The demon briefly considered just using human children, but that not only was a little rough for Aziraphale, he was sure, it risked them being confused for pedophiles if they watch the children too closely. He had been mostly out of ideas until he watched a man on a bench get his sandwich confiscated by a small primate. Some sort of monkey. Brilliant! They were naturally just jerks on their own.
Perfect.
Now, Crowley just had to come up with a way for this to work, for it to fill the void of the pond. He took his sunglasses off and looked up into the foliage. Inspiration had to come from somewhere.