Only Me
Ok, So now this the next in the onward progression of greatness.
On to Part 3 -->
Summary: Ron learns what it means to Trust completely.
Disclaimer: I would love to claim I own it all but that could lead to years of court cases. I'll pass on that since I do have the right to play with them. So…Beat that.
**** **** **** **** ****
I sighed. I am so bored. I want to make my Master proud but I am just bored. But, I guess I should explain why.
Right now, my head is resting on my Master's thigh. His hand is in my hair, the strands running through his fingers. I love it when he does that. It always makes me feel cherished. I sigh once more, letting all the voices wash over me. I am the only pet here and we have been here for--let me see--four hours now. Gah, any longer and I am going to bash my head into the table.
See, Master decided I was going to join him. He had a meeting with the High Lord Voldemort and several so-called advisors. They were more like arse-kissers in my opinion. Then again, I have been staring at their shoes for a long while now so I could be wrong. I sincerely doubt I am wrong though.
Master had told me that it wouldn't be very long and I am so tired. I know things are not going to end well. I hear the voices stop but I remain still. Finally, Master stands and I feel a pat on my head, telling me to rise as well. Swiftly, I silently do as asked and wait for everyone to leave. I know what is coming.
Almost as soon as the door closes, I collapse. My body is shaking, tensing with every move. My jaw tightens and my heart is pounding in my hear. I can feel my teeth throbbing from the pressure of my jaw. I am sure I am flailing but it is not something I am truly worried about. No, I am more overcome with the pain…and the memories. Flashback I am thrown against the wall, my head hitting it with a sickening crunch. I feel the blood with my fingers before I am picked up by my collar, my feet dangling above the ground. Breathing is a chore, but I remain focused on the person assaulting me.
"What do you have on him?"
"Who?" I croak out.
"My brother, you piece of shit. He claims to love you and I see nothing worth loving." He sneered. Somehow, I had never imagined Master's brother to be so cruel.
"I love him."
"You don't know love. You are a kin-killer and a traitor. You should be in the ground, not here in a cozy home."
"I am here because Master wants me here." His hand tightened around my neck.
"He keeps you for entertainment and that is it. Though, I cannot see how you could be very entertaining. I am certain there are slaves better than you."
"I love him."
"And he doesn't love you. Watch, you will not be here much longer." With that, he dropped me. He turned from me as I tried to catch my breath. Briskly, he left; the door slamming in his wake.
Quietly, I stood and set about preparing for Master's arrival; the words playing over and over in my head. End of Flashback
I came to consciousness rather slowly, only to see Master’s face hovering over me. Damn, I was going to be in so much trouble. “I’m sorry Sir.”
“You seem to be saying that a lot lately.” He murmured, picking me up. Cradled in his arms, I closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat as he carried me to our rooms.
When we arrived, I felt myself placed onto the bed. He stripped me of my clothes before moving back to do his own. I reached out, intending to help him but I found my hands batted away. He continued what he was doing until, he too, was naked. He climbed into bed, pulling me against him.
“You have some explaining to do and I want the whole truth. You seem to have been omitting certain things and I will not stand for it. You need to trust me. If you don’t, I will let you go; soul mate or not.” He spoke, his voice carrying a hard edge.
I shivered. I hate when his voice gets like this. “You don’t love me?” I knew it was the wrong thing to say, but it had to be true, didn’t it? I felt the tears start when Master became quiet, too quiet. The silence stretched out and I started to pull away, but he pulled me back. This only made me cry harder. Why couldn’t he just let me go easy? It always has to be hard doesn’t it?
“I don’t love you...” I shook my head, not wanting to truly hear the words. "Where did you get that idea, love?" He sighed. "Please, talk to me."
"You said y-you w-w-would send me a-away." I sobbed out.
"No, I said I would if you could not learn to trust me completely."
"But, I d-do trust you." Why wouldn't he believe me?
"Then why do you question me so and why have you not told me what caused your collapse earlier? Tell me, why do you skirt the questions?"
Finally, I did something I never should have done. I lost my temper with him. I moved back, ignoring the warning as I disobeyed him and stood. "Do you really want to know about this? What I had earlier was a seizure. I am epileptic and I have had them since birth. Ironically, when I have them, I remember things. I remember some of the worst times in my life during them and no one can tell me why." I ran my fingers through my hair. "The second question I got from your brother. Your brother. He came here and assaulted me. He swore up and down that you would never love me and that I was only entertainment. He was right though. I am a killer of my blood and a traitor to my birth. So, you know what, I am still trying to sort it out."
Calmly, my Master watched me vent. I knew I'd be in for it later. "When was this assault?"
"Two weeks ago. I had bruises on my neck and yet you never asked about them. Never. And yet you wonder of my doubts. Am I merely entertainment until you find something better? You said so yourself, you could let me go--soul mate or not." He flinched at that.
Finally, he stood. "Enough." He commanded. "Kneel." Instinctively, I did. "If you doubted me you should have talked to me. But, no, you had to be almighty and not tell me. I cannot take care of you if you do not tell me what is hurting you. We have been together for almost two years and I have never seen you have a seizure, why? Answer honestly."
"Because I did not let you. I am no fool. I know that being epileptic is considered a weakness to Purebloods and it is a trait of the unworthy. I was not about to risk what we had by telling you." I begged him silently to understand.
"I do understand your reasons but that does not make them right. Tonight, you will own up to those mistakes." He turned from me. "Stand and follow me."
We walked into the adjoining room. I didn't let myself think about what was to come. We walked into the dark room and he murmured a few spells to lighten it. There, in the middle of the room, was the cross. Well, it was more like an X. He motioned for me to adjust myself to it. My arms spread wide above my head and my legs spread below. Master secured the ropes around my wrists and ankles and then a blindfold over my eyes. I felt cold as he moved away from me and even worse when I heard him speak.
"Tonight, you will learn to trust me. You will not see your punishment before it happens and it will remain that way until I am satisfied you have learned your lesson. You will receive 8 strokes for each infraction. There were three so you will receive 24 strokes. Now, tell me the reasons you are here."
"Not telling you I was upset and keeping secrets, not telling you I was physically hurt, and for not trusting you to take care of me." I really did screw up didn't I.
"Correct. You will count." Almost immediately I felt the sting.
"One." It was the whip.
Again. "Two."
"Three."
and so one. At nine I felt a different burn. The paddle.
"Ten."
"Eleven." I really do need, and deserve, this.
At seventeen, it changed again. It was his hand. There would be no leeway tonight.
"E-eighteen." The tears were uncontrollable. My blindfold was soaked but there was no slowing of pace.
"Nineteen."
….
….
"T-twenty-four. T-thank you Sir." I felt his hand soothing me for a few minutes before the bindings were undone. He caught me as my legs gave out. Once more, he carried me. Only this time, I had no idea where we were going. My blindfold was still in place.
I felt myself settled under a mound of blankets, pulled tight against his chest. There was a kiss to my forehead and then he whispered into my ear. "Sleep pet. We will discuss our options tomorrow and work out any changes needed. You did good. You will sleep with your blindfold on tonight, trusting that I will stay and protect you. Understood?"
I nodded.
"Good. Now sleep."
"I love you." I whispered as I settled in.
"I love you too Ron." I had never been so happy to hear my name.