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The Incredible Nightcrawler (just_went_bamf) wrote in age_of_miracles,
@ 2008-05-05 00:09:00

Entry tags:

nightcrawler, northstar

Thread: Nightcrawler & Northstar
Who: Kurt Wagner & Jean-Paul Beaubier
When: Late evening, May 4, 2008
Where: Jean-Paul's room, Xavier's School
What: Kurt's been feeling terrible and confused about what happened with Tommy but he thinks it's time to have an opinion from someone who isn't female. Or a priest. Maybe Kurt has a feeling that JP's done shit like this before.

___________________

"I went to Confession and I still don't feel better."

Kurt had confessed to his sins with Tommy----the impure thoughts, the arguing, and that little thing where he fucked her against the wall. He'd done his penance, and he'd apparently made his peace with the Lord, but what good was Confession and penance if Tommy still wanted to castrate him? It was going to take a lot more than apologizing to God, but it wasn't like Tommy wanted to hear any apologies from him.

Sure, Kurt had sinned before. He had the scars mapping his body to prove it. Actually, he was probably due for a couple more. He wasn't a stranger to sin. He wasn't even a stranger to lust. But he was a stranger to the idea of taking advantage of his mentally unstable ex-girlfriend and using her to satisfy his own carnal needs without, apparently, taking her feelings into account. But she hadn't seemed angry until afterward when he said it shouldn't have happened! He really didn't know why she was so angry, or maybe he was just so dumbfounded by the fact that he was in this situation to begin with that he couldn't reason it out.

XI'an had told him that Tommy's logic was totally right, that Kurt was lousy for what he did. Kurt sure felt lousy. On the other hand, he was also still confused, and he was seeking counsel. Xi'an offered good no-nonsense advice, but after Confession brought him no solace he found himself going to Jean-Paul's room for counsel, bearing a gift of new sneakers. Yes, he'd dug through all the trash to find Jean-Paul's sneakers, get his size, and then find him a new pair of sneakers. He was a bad prankster. He paid for his damages. See? Damn it, he was a good guy! He wasn't this horrible, disgusting jerk that Tommy thought he was.

To Kurt, Jean-Paul Beaubier was worldly and wise----maybe a little too well-versed in sinful things (at least, that was his impression), but Jean-Paul seemed like he might have been through this before. So, he was curled up on Jean-Paul's floor, eating potato chips by the handful. In addition to sneakers, he'd brought snacks and a stack of 1940s adventure movies.

By now, he'd been there for a few hours and he'd recently explained his plight... which to Jean-Paul was probably nothing short of hysterical.

"What do I do? Say I'm sorry? She does not like when I say it should not have happened. She does not like it if I suggest we stay together! She does not want an apology, or flowers... 'I'm sorry I could not resist your perfect body and took advantage of you in your vulnerable state of mind' flowers..." He cursed inappropriately in German----then gave his hand a little smack for talking that way and crossed himself.

"I feel so wicked," he said. "And not in the good, fun way."

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dunord
2008-05-05 10:42 pm UTC (link)

Jean-Paul is pretty well versed in the ways of the wicked. Either he's done it or he's watched it happen, or hell, it's been done to him. That's why he prefers to be single. He's been getting a little lonely lately, but he's so picky. Maybe he'll just stick to hanging out with his blue friends, safe from those who would want to do wicked things to him. Physical love is overrated anyway.

However, this? This sort of thing has never happened to him before. It's a little confusing. He understood that Tommy is a little... unwell. This puts him in a difficult spot. If someone had done this to his unwell sister, he'd punch their nose through the back of their head. However, if Kurt had fucked his sister? Well, he'd feel bad for Kurt.

He laid on his bed, fingertips laced on his crown. He listened to the whole thing in silence. Maybe once or twice his attention went to Errol Flynn. What a goddamn attractive man he was.

Finally, stated in an even, gentle voice, "You didn't rape her."

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just_went_bamf
2008-05-05 11:01 pm UTC (link)

"Xi'an thinks I did," said Kurt around a mouthful of potato chips. Than again, Xi'an was a rape victim. She had a slightly skewed perception of things, right? Jean-Paul had a mentally unstable sister and look at him, being all understanding and supportive-like. He could distance himself from his own situation and see where Kurt was coming from.

"I didn't, though." Right? Because JP said so. "She didn't say no. She hates that I was indecisive. That is what she hates."

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	dunord 2008-05-06 09:45 am UTC (link)
	"I think that if she didn't want it, she could have yelled at you to stop." Crazy girls yell a lot, especially when they aren't getting their way. Jean-Paul knows. "...She would have said something..." he continued. "It takes two to... tango." He decided against the word 'fuck' for Kurt's sake. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

just_went_bamf
2008-05-06 10:06 am UTC (link)

Kurt felt a little better around Jean-Paul. His attention was on the movie and he still looked perfectly maudlin even though Errol Flynn always managed to cheer him up. Oh, by the by, he'd also memorized this movie. If you watched him closely he was mouthing the lines when he wasn't contributing to the conversation.

"What do I do?" He reached back, offering the bag of potato chips. "Do I wait for her to stop being so angry?" All these years speaking English and he was pretty good at it by now, but he still hadn't managed the art of the "W" sound. "I have to avoid her. There is something about her, Jean-Paul... the colors? She has this perfect body... I see her and I want to sin, it's terrible. I used to be able to control that feeling." Maybe now that he'd actually acted on it he could stop thinking like that. ...Maybe.

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dunord
2008-05-06 10:32 am UTC (link)

Jean-Paul darted forward and took a handful of chips. He at least waited until he was done chewing to continue, "Avoid her. Wait her out." This might not be the best advice, but it's what Jean-Paul's got.

"Let her come to you." Which, wasn't that how this whole thing got started? He leaned forward, changing positions so that he was on his stomach. Closer to Kurt's head at the foot of the bed when he spoke, "You can control yourself, Kurt." YOU CAN DO IT. JP BELIEVES IN YOU.

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just_went_bamf
2008-05-06 11:33 am UTC (link)

"I always could before!" Kurt exclaimed. Sure, Kurt had the hardest time with sins of the flesh. There were some women that he looked at and just craved, but he could deal with not acting on it. Tommy... he'd never seen or been with anyone like her and now that he wasn't supposed to be near her it was harder and harder to deal with. He felt like she was stringing him along, too. "I mean... most of the time..."

Kurt leaned away a little and ate another chip. He liked Jean-Paul. He really did. He liked Jean-Paul but knowing that he was openly gay also made him... made him a little bit uncomfortable. Something he didn't like to admit to. Being uncomfortable around homosexuals was so un-hip these days. He liked Jean-Paul, he just didn't like what Jean-Paul chose to do with his life. Love the sinner, hate the sin ... he was concerned about Jean-Paul going to Hell.

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	dunord 2008-05-08 12:00 am UTC (link)
	"You still can. Nothing has changed." Jean-Paul doesn't believe in 'losing control.' No one can make you do anything. Getting caught up in the moment? Pfft. Jean-Paul didn't notice Kurt's leaning. He's oblivious to people's body language most of the time. "Just chill out." Oh Jean-Paul, you're so hip. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

just_went_bamf
2008-05-08 09:13 am UTC (link)

"She's like this... this..." Kurt slumped, lifting his hands like he could sculpt the memory out of the air. "When I was with the circus, there was this woman... older than me, sophisticated. She wore clothes that made her bare from here" ----under her breasts, he pointed out---- "to here" ----well below her navel, apparently. "And she would do this dance, carrying fire torches ... she ate fire, too ... when I was thirteen years old I could not take my eyes off her. She was all that I thought about. All the time."

He started to sweat when she ruffled his hair and said he was sweet. His heart thudded faster in his ribcage when she played with his tail. He got spontaneous erections all the time and was perpetually embarrassed throughout puberty.

"Tommy? Tommy is like her." Only more colorful. Less showy. "Oh, except that it turns out that she was.." He gestured, ungracefully closing a hand over the general area of his groin. "And that is that."

Kurt had an intense boyhood crush on a transsexual. In his defense, she was an extremely pretty transsexual.

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dunord
2008-05-08 09:48 am UTC (link)

Jean-Paul squinted his eyes for a moment. "You had a crush on a drag queen?" Drag queens and transsexuals aren't always the same thing. Jean-Paul could hear the voice of one of this tranny friends telling him that. Nu uh, honey, all in the back of his head. Which brings JP to think that he needs new friends.

What? Yes. Tranny friends. He doesn't advertise that he goes to drag clubs. Only on special occasions. Maybe he should bring Kurt sometime.

"Tommy's not a guy, is she?" Whoa!

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just_went_bamf
2008-05-08 09:58 am UTC (link)

"What? No!" Kurt looked horrified. "No, of course not!"

Tommy was female. Completely female. Absolutely female. Never mind the slight crush he'd had on a leggy blonde guidance counselor and English teacher named Dream Thivierge who happened to live here a while back. Very close friend, Kurt might have been a little bit in love. Then again, Kurt also had known full well that this leggy blonde woman wasn't actually a woman. Used male pronouns and everything, just happened to resemble an incredibly gorgeous woman thanks to a few genetic miscalculations.

Oh, God in Heaven, was it a complex?

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	dunord 2008-05-08 10:27 am UTC (link)
	Jean-Paul put his hands put in a defensive position. "All right, all right, don't get all uppity." It was kind of funny to Jean-Paul, but he decided to stifle his laughter for Kurt's sake. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

just_went_bamf
2008-05-08 10:47 am UTC (link)

"Uppity? I'm not uppity!" Kurt exclaimed, holding up his hands in an equally defensive position. "I am just saying that Tommy is very much a woman. I'm sure of this. I don't... I don't..." He didn't do that. With the... he had sex with women, when he did have sex. So please, Jean-Paul. Kurt wasn't one of your kind, even if he did have a boyhood crush on a transsexual and was slightly in love with a hermaphrodite. That didn't mean anything.

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