|rogue. (absorptions) wrote in age_of_miracles,|
@ 2008-02-11 10:21:00
|Entry tags:||rogue, wolverine|
Log: Rogue and Wolverine
Who: Marie Allerdyce and Logan
When: February 11, 2008
Where: Medlab; Xavier’s school
What: After rescuing Bobby, John and Rogue, Logan brings them back to Xavier’s to get patched up. And then Logan watches Rogue sleep… expect not as creepy as Clay Aiken’s song Invisible… And then they have a conversation that doesn’t go well. Oops.
Well, Bobby was found, and John and Rogue with him. Logan knew he'd find them if he found Bobby, and taking them along was something he had to do, but... that didn't mean it settled well with him. They were all in bad shape, they'd all been tortured, and .... here he'd thought Rogue had snapped and killed them both. It was totally plausible, given how she'd been acting.
He was sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed, watching her sleep and wondering exactly what the hell she'd do when she woke up. They'd been through a hell of a lot together, and she was nothing short of completely insane these days. Insane and cruel and Logan didn't know what had been done to her, but he didn't know if she'd snapped out of it. But... sleeping... sleeping, it was something Logan recognized, took comfort in. She looked like her old self when she slept, anyway.
It wasn’t really surprising that, once she’d been cleaned up, treated, and given something for the pain, Rogue had almost immediately fallen asleep --- regardless of the fact that she was vaguely aware that they were in the school. It wasn’t like they’d been given a chance to sleep much where they’d been, or at least it hadn’t been good sleep, and she was exhausted. It didn’t last long, though and, as tired as she was, after falling asleep, her mind tended to forget that she was safe now. Safe if no one in the school decided to become a vigilante anyway.
And it wasn’t long before her eyelids were twitching, hands reaching to bat at something that wasn’t there, and then she was sitting upright suddenly with a sharp gasp, still half asleep and trembling.
"Hey---Hey." Logan immediately reached out, holding her shoulder to keep her steady. "You're safe." Thanks to his sharp senses the scent of her fear was searing his nostrils and the pounding of her heart was barraging his eardrums. "Lie back."
“Let go---” She seemed ready to fight him on this, as her fingers closed around the hand steadying her. And then Rogue took another breath and seemed to recognize Logan and her breathing slowed… somewhat. The fact that they’d been rescued started to sink in and she fell back against the pillows behind her. “Are they alright?”
Logan made sure she was settled before he answered. "They will be," he said. "Bobby's been toughest... nasty infection, but Elvyran's gonna have it cleared up best he can. The healing he does works wonders but it depends on what a body can take, and Bobby can't take much." He snorted softly. "I'm surprised you didn't wake up when Pyro was howling as Hank popped his shoulder back in."
He shifted in his seat, boots set down on the floor with a dull pair of thuds. "You all right?" he asked, looking her over. People being severely injured shook him up----he was used to being hurt but he was used to healing and it didn't sit right with him when people were hurt and didn't heal.
“Depends,” she said, shutting her eyes, obviously placated by the fact that John and Bobby were going to be fine. “I’ve still got both hands, right? Both feet? I’m not missing any body parts?” She didn’t really sound like she was joking, though, like she wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d woken up missing something. And Rogue certainly didn’t even seem to make the connection between asking the question and… what she’d done to Logan.
"You got all your body parts," said Logan, with just a trace of irony and a glance at her hand. "Hank's done the basic work... if you want Elvyran to tend to you he will."
“There’s a relief…” She missed the glance at her hand with her eyes closed and, by the time she opened them, she didn’t look panicked as much as seriously disturbed. “I’ll heal on my own.”
Rogue blinked up at him, turning her head slightly. “If you hadn’t found us…”
"You wouldn't be dead, you'd just be worse," said Logan, snorting and looking away. "They were keepin' you alive just to toy with you... I woulda stuck around to wait for 'em but gettin' you back was more important than killing them. Sorry."
“Would have eventually meant being dead,” Rogue said quietly. “Especially Bobby. What with…” She gestured vaguely at her shoulder, the same general spot where Bobby had been shot.
She swallowed, frowning. “Logan…”
Logan grunted and lifted his head, which was as close to a response as she was going to get.
“Why are you here if you hate me because of what happened?” She switched the topic that quickly, not concerned at all that he wouldn’t know what she was referring to. It was sort of obvious, considering. “Should I bother trying to explain? Or am I just wasting my breath?”
Logan's mouth twitched. "You wanna try, I'm listenin'."
Rogue pressed her lips together, pushing herself up and swallowing a groan at the movement. Instead of answering directly, she repeated, “Why are you here?”
"Lookin' after you," he said, lowering his eyes. "Y'know, when I first knew the three've you were gone, first thought was that you'd snapped and killed 'em both."
She stared at him for a long moment, trying to wrap her mind around that comment. “You --- what?” Shit. She’d been in a bad state, Rogue knew that. It had gotten really bad. But she hadn’t realized it had been bad enough that Logan would think that she’d completely gone off the deep end and murdered Bobby and her own husband. “I…” She wanted to say that wouldn’t have done that and she was pretty sure she wouldn’t have but…
“I don’t think I would have done that. At least not to… I’m sorry, Logan. You know --- you’ve got to know --- that wasn’t me.”
"I know," said Logan. "I know it wasn't you, but I didn't know if 'you' were ever comin' back."
“Yeah, well…” Rogue sighed, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s not just the hand thing… I mean. It is the hand thing… I can’t…” She didn’t really think she was ready to seriously think about that. At least not without going stark-raving mad. “But when I saw you… the way I was acting…” The way she’d been hanging all over him, acting entirely more suggestive than she ever did around Logan. And remembering that just made her embarrassed.
Logan raised his eyebrows, having to think for a moment exactly what she meant----and when he realized, he inhaled slowly and leaned backward in his chair, clearing his throat. Right. Yeah. That. "Yeah, well, don't worry about it," he muttered. "Wasn't you."
“Don’t be stupid, Logan. I wasn’t like that with anyone but you ---- and John, obviously. But that doesn’t…” Rogue sighed, trying to figure out a way to climb her way out of this hole she’d dug herself when all she’d been trying to do was apologize. “My head was really… really messed up. I did a lot of things I never would have done otherwise. And a lot of stuff that I wanted to do but didn’t because it was wrong. So I’m sorry. You got dragged into it.”
"Don't worry about it," said Logan, running the back of his finger over his lips before he smiled----just a little. "You back to yourself?"
“Yeah. Pretty much.” She looked down at her hands, bruised and scabbed over in places. “If this is back to myself. Then, yeah, sure.”
"Maybe not healthy, but you've got your head." Logan tapped his temple with his fingertip. "More than you did, anyway. Good enough. And I..." He grunted and leaned forward, rubbing the back of his neck. "When you and John go'n leave here I'm not gonna do anything about it." Wasn't going to try and keep her here. She'd made her choice and he was just going to let that be. He wasn't her keeper even if he couldn't help getting involved most of the time.
“Right. If he doesn’t tell me to fuck off after what happened.” Rogue shook her head, torn between feeling like she should get up and stop taking up space somewhere she didn’t belong and not wanting to ever move out of this cozy, dim corner.
"Kid, he's so drugged up right now he doesn't know his head from his ass right now," said Logan with a snort. "This ain't your fault."
“Logan --- the guy. Not Bobby’s brother, the other one---” There was plenty more to what had happened than just her role in it. Ronnie had obviously been pissed off for his own reasons and Liz was batshit crazy and probably hadn’t gone to this trouble just because Rogue had stuck gum in her hair and forced her to shave her head. But Max was definitely her fault.
"The guy..." Logan waited for her to finish because it wasn't like he knew what she was going to say.
“He’s the reason I was so messed up. I kept draining him, I kept him in the Lair and I just kept draining him. And he’s crazy. Out of his mind, batshit, crazy. And then---” The rest of it came tumbling out, even though she hated saying any of this to Logan. The things she’d done to Max while she’d had him locked up, the way she’d cracked somewhere in Connecticut, the fact that John had tried to go handle it and ended up letting Max escape.
By the end of it, Logan was leaning back in his chair, trying to keep a blank expression on his face even though he was nothing short of horrified. It took a lot to shock Logan, but he'd had no idea Rogue was that crazy... because of this son of a bitch. And he... he didn't even have any words. Logan was hard to shock but it looked like she'd succeeded in doing it. He was pale, drained, one hand over his mouth before he let it drop to his lap. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it.
Her own expression mirrored Logan’s pretty much exactly. She obviously didn’t take any pleasure in relaying anything… if anything, she looked sick about it. Rogue hadn’t really talked it out since she’d started straightening out her head and the more she said, the more she felt like she was going to throw up. “Logan…” She wasn’t looking at him, but it had to be bad that he wasn’t saying anything.
"You weren't yourself," said Logan quickly. He knew at least that her mind wasn't stable, that she took on the thoughts of people she touched. He couldn't blame her, but it was also very hard to look at her the same way.
“Logan.” Rogue seemed to be able to sense the difference in his opinion of her and it literally tore at her.
“I don’t know why you’re bothering to look after me if you’re going to look at me like that.” Oh, she deserved it. She deserved a good backhand and being dumped outside, injuries and all. But Logan was… Logan. And it was beginning to sink in just how distant he was.
Logan grunted softly and... well. He couldn't look at her any other way right now. So, instead of looking at her, he pulled himself out of the chair, hooked his thumbs on his belt, and left the room. He needed time to digest this and looking at her while he did was too hard. She wanted something he just couldn't give.
Rogue opened her mouth to call after him, and then shut it quickly. There was no way she was going to be able to get any noise out. And, even if she’d thought it was a good idea, she couldn’t get to her feet to follow him anyway. Basically, she was stuck in this stupid bed, in this stupid school, and instead of being happy that she was safe, it almost would have been easier to deal with being back in the Friends of Humanity’s little corner of hell.