Friendship is a weird thing. Even now, even after all these years, it's still a strange balance that I can't always navigate. How hard do I push? I've sent 2 emails and neither one has been answered. Am I supposed to send another? Or should I do what I want, which is go to bed and hope to get some sleep tonight since I didn't get any last night? Am I supposed to feel guilty that my job isn't like yours, and that I don't have weekends off and that I have to get up super early and that I'm tired? Am I supposed to feed into your passive-aggressiveness and keep prodding at you until you decide that I've donned the appropriate amount of guilt and answer me back? I don't know. To me, friendship isn't supposed to be like that. Yes, it took me a couple hours to email you back last night. I had other things to take care of before I got on the computer. I can't sit at home in front of a screen for hours at a time the way you can. I can't do it because I have too many other things to do, and I can't do it because I don't want to. It doesn't mean that I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you and find out how your day was. It means that I have a life outside of the internet. And it makes me feel bad that it makes you feel bad when I'm not always here. When it counts, I am. But I don't have the time or interest to sit here for half a day, not even for writing. Which I know is also part of the problem. And I keep trying to figure out how to fix that part of things, but I haven't gotten there yet. Probably because I know it's not going to go well. But that's not what this is about - at least not for me. For me, this is about now, and how I don't know what to do. What I want to do is turn the computer off, hope you're out doing something fun, and go to bed. I don't know if that's the right thing or not. I don't want to make things worse, but at the same time, I don't want to play games. What would you do if you were me?