What was it that Voldemort said? "I confess myself disappointed." I confess myself disappointed. In you. I wish I didn't, because I'm not entirely sure that it's fair. Except, dammit, I expected more from you. I expected acknowledgement. I expected a kind word, a platitude, even. Something. People I don't even consider friends have done more than you have, and even though I would probably never talk to any of them the way I've talked to you, it meant the world that they care enough about me to say something. I understand that death makes some people uncomfortable ~ hey, I totally get it ~ but I confess myself disappointed.
I'm not sure what to do with the disappointment. I haven't said anything and I most likely won't, but it's put a wedge there. A flexible wedge, but a wedge nonetheless. We go through phases, you and I. Times where we're close and times where we're less close, and while I prefer the close times, I understand the ebb and flow. And mostly I'm okay with that. But man, right now I'm just...I don't know where we are. I don't know what to expect from you anymore, and more so, I don't know what I can expect. Is it fair that I wish you had been there more? Even though I know you have your own life and your own stresses, is it fair that I was hurt that you didn't seem to care? I don't know. My emotions are so all over the place right now that I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable or not. I guess the bottom line is that I wanted you to care about me the way I care about you and that didn't happen. It doesn't mean you don't care at all, and maybe if I can find a way to readjust the way I feel then I won't feel bad when you don't feel the same way. It's not fair for me to put expectations on friendship; I get that much. But, fuck. I never thought they'd be so...un-met. I really didn't.