InsaneJournal

     “Everyone has a dark side, Sunshine,” Brian murmured enigmatically. He raised himself from the sofa, every languid movement calculated for maximum effect. “Whether or not they accept it or...” he narrowed his gaze in Justin’s direction,  “act on it is a different story.”

       Justin looked up from his book distractedly, confusion evident in the blue eyes. “Huh? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

        It slowly dawned on him that Brian had been talking in riddles for at least thirty minutes, a background of white noise that his brain had only subconsciously registered. Periodically, the constant drone filtered through and he would randomly latch on to a particular phrase or word, file it away for future study and then return to his book, none the wiser. Little did he know....

      Brian intentionally refrained from answering, giving his words time and space to seep into the young man’s unconscious psyche. It wouldn’t take long for Justin’s habitual curiosity to surface, cloaked with feigned indifference in order to ignore those hidden desires that he knew were deeply buried.

      Instead, he focused on casually pouring a generous amount of Beam into unpretentious yet elegant glasses, smirking inwardly at his newly found knowledge—Mr. Taylor’s unknowing predilection for the kinkier side of sex.

      Justin’s insatiable sexual appetite had been evident from their first night together, severely testing Brian’s legendary staying power, much to his chagrin, a fact he would never admit, even under threat of castration. He mentioned it offhandedly to Michael the next morning, careful to underscore his comment with an indifferent almost.

      He often thought that Justin would be a perfect candidate for a Masters and Johnson or Albert Kinsey sex study, an observation that was good, very good, for Brian Kinney—to have at his whim, a sexually hungry teenager eager to learn all that the master wanted to teach.

      Clad only in partially closed designer jeans, he leisurely strolled toward Justin, the muted slapping of his bare feet on the wood floor the only hint of approach. Hazel eyes shrewdly locked on blue as he gave him his drink, hands barely touching, yet creating enough electricity to light the loft.

      He sprawled on the sofa and pensively sipped the amber liquid, savoring the warmth flowing through his veins, confident that he now had Justin’s undivided attention. All was as it should be.

      The anticipatory silence coated Justin’s skin with a thin sheen of sweat. He was certain Brian heard the thumping beats of his heart in the stillness. He certainly did. Not only did he hear them, he felt them, their reverberations sending shudders throughout his entire body. Rational thinking was becoming increasingly difficult. Coherent speech? Next to impossible. When Brian finally spoke, Justin shivered, the evenly modulated tone flitting across his skin like a summer breeze.

     “What it means...” Brian explained patiently, seemingly transfixed by his tapered fingers toying with the rim of his glass, “is that everyone has dark secrets they don’t want to acknowledge—for any number of reasons—fear, confusion, shame...” Deliberately leaving his sentence unfinished, he gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “Who knows?” He raised his head with the skill of a highly trained actor, intent on captivating an audience, and fixed a well-practiced gaze on Justin, one dark brow arched in silent acknowledgement. 

      Under the weight of the intense stare, Justin unconsciously pinched his upper lip between his teeth, momentarily stunned by the metallic taste in his mouth. When he saw something flicker far back in the hazel eyes, something that briefly replaced the smoldering passion, something almost disturbing, he felt the heat of embarrassment redden his face and the heat of arousal swell in his groin.

     “Everyone has secret desires, Sunshine,” Brian murmured, “those inner naughty thoughts or desires they would never admit having, even under oath.”

“What a wonderful thing it is to have someone who identifies your innermost desires, and spares you the embarrassment of disclosing them to him yourself."   Jean de la Fontaine

      With a finely honed perception, Brian could feel Justin’s inner turmoil. He had intuitively sensed it when, for one of the rare times in his life, he tried to do the right thing—in his own unique way—and altruistically teach the teenager a valuable lesson after dumpster boy’s untimely demise.

      He watched Justin carefully, taking note of every movement and every facial expression, waiting for the slightest waver or reluctance. He found neither.

      What he did find was confusion, apprehension and suspicion...all clouded by a haze of unmistakable lust—and he noticed. He definitely noticed. It was a gut feeling, one that he couldn’t define or describe. But it was enough for him to make a calculated decision— to pursue and push, just a little, just enough, to allow Justin’s exploration of his darker self, to “own his own shadow,” as Jung taught.

      He would take Justin to emotional plateaus and physical heights that he never even dreamed existed, let alone thought he would actually experience. They would explore situations together... the willing and eager teacher with the willing and eager student.

      They were a perfect match.