Who was the fucking genius to put fucking cinnamon in the coffee? Now it tastes like shit.

MY CLUB OPENS TOMORROW HOLY SHIT!

Everyone, prepare to get hammered.

James
So apparently telling me we're done, canceling our party without telling me and moving out of the house doesn't mean she's breaking up with me. She seemed surprised at the very idea, and keot wondering why everyone was asking if she was okay...

James. This girl... I honestly do not understand one single thing about her. At all. But at least she doesn't hate me?

Warded tp Sirius

What's happened?

The wedding party is off. Please don't bring any gifts. The club is still opening on the 22nd. I hope to see you all there.

[Narcissa]

Any and all public posts about your cousin will end, even if I won't be representing your family any longer.

[Andromeda and Regulus]

Thank you for your kind words, but it seems that they were a little premature.

[Leo]

Men suck and not in a good way.

I am alive despite popular rumors. Simply barricaded in my classroom and office as of late as the school year starts. Thank you for the well wishes regarding my health. Madam Pomfrey has been wonderful and I'm fully recovered.

It seems I've missed a lot, though.

Sirius

What the hell did you do?! I am away for two weeks, and you get married?! I knew you were bloody impulsive, but c'mon, man!

Profssor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore

I am so sorry for not doing more to assist with the Hogsmeade trip. I promise not to neglect my duties next month. The Wolfsbane potion had some unexpected side-effects.... I am fully recovered, however, and I will make up for it.

I will never understand why people can't accept facts without putting a personal spin on things. Facts are nice and objective. If you focus on facts, you don't have problems.

It must be why I can understand history, but I don't get people. I like my facts too much.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for...





Saturday the 23rd, come party your arse off and drink the night away! Special guest artist Edgar Bones! Grab a portkey at the portable store front in Diagon Alley or apparate to 2576 Haversham rd in Brixton.

Friends and Family
Clorinda and I will be celebrating our marriage in tandem with the club opening. VIP section will br reserved for our use and the alcohol and food is on me! We hope to see you all there. And yes, if you can see this then I do in fact mean you!

Oh no, my secret sorkret has been revealed! You've got me world. I'm a blood thirsty werewolf and all my decades of shennanigans are just to cover it up! HOW SHALL I EVER GO ON!

Okay, but seriously. If you believe a word that leaves Rita Skeeters poison quill you're an idiot and you deserve to be brainwashed by ber tripe. And for the record, if I was a werewolf I still wouldn't care. There is no shame in being a werewolf, they're just people like all the rest of us. Yeah, some of them are assholes, but Wizards aren't all sunshine and lolipops either. Voldemort anyone?

So, in conclusion, Rita Skeeter you can go fuck yourself.

*Added later*
By the way, great photo of me Skeets! I'm going to start selling signed copies of it, all proceeds go to Werewolf Rights. If anyone wants a pic let me know!

Clorinda
You okay?

Mary
She's such a bitch, eh?

Remus
I won't let this get back to you, I swear on my life.

I don't get to see my family as much as I...maybe want to isn't the right word. As much as I would feel more comfortable with? After a while it just sort of slips my mind, I guess, and then that weird guilt shows up out of absolutely nowhere and I feel like if I don't panic, drop everything, and run I'm the worst kid ever. Which is silly, because I've grown up with some of you and I know what you're like. Not that I'm pointing fingers! But I might be. Anyway, that happened over the weekend and I wound up in the living room I used to do somersaults in yesterday and it was a somewhat enlightening experience. Their lives over the past two decades have hardly changed at all. I can remember almost every piece of furniture from my childhood and my mom handed me the same mug that she's been handing me since I was old enough to drink out of something other than a sippy cup. The routine of it all was nice at first, but in the end it left me feeling uncomfortable. They don't talk to me much about the things in my life they just don't get. They didn't talk to me much at all, really, but I've come to be okay with it. Anyway, while I was there I was offered some last remaining garden vegetables and all I can think to do is make soup out of them. I don't know if it'll be any good, but if you want to taste test for me I'll bring the entire shebang to the office tomorrow. [Ophelia] Anything I can do to help you in your newfound freedom?

So I got married!

It happened Saturday, or Sunday, depending on time zones. It was still Saturday here, but Sunday in Egypt where I got married.

Oh I forgot to mention I married Sirius Black. We met on Saturday, definitely on Saturday regardless of time zone.

It's exciting and adventurous and I never thought I'd get married, but this was the best way to do it: spontaneous, in a tomb and with great sex!

[OOC Added later] Threesomes are perfectly good valid gifts subject to our veto.

Many of the shops in Diagon Alley have updated their displays early to reflect the changing season. As lovely as this must be for you lovers of Autumn, it has brought about a spate of pumpkin related incidents. As upsetting as such events can be, I would like to remind the general public that rearranging a collection of pumpkin models into lewd positions is not classed as a case that requires immediate attention from the Auror Department. I would suggest diverting your gaze, moving the models of your own free will, and educating your children about the flaws within the general population.

With all that said, if you know who is culpable for this pumpkin-readjustment-spree, please point them in my direction--If only so I can find some loop-hole to repay the several hours lost to this nonsense.

Ought to get one of those cards from St. Mungo's that gets stamped for every god damn time I'm admitted. Fill up the card, and get a free cup of coffee.

JAMES! HOLY SHIT JAAAAAMES!!!

Who: James & Lily Potter
What: Husband and wife time!
Where: Their bedroom
When: Sept 10th, late night (9pm is late, right?) (Takes place after James finds out about Sirius' marriage)

( Read more... )

Everyone should be lining up to tell me how amazing I am. And yes, this is usually something people do just because they feel like it but they should do it extra today because LOOK AT MY BOOTHS THEY ARE GLORIOUS!!!

Why yes, I did install them myself! Thank you for noticing!

Snape
How's Hamlet?

Moony and Prongs
I did something stupid.

Mmm how does this thing work? I've never bothered to use it before, but I think this merits learning:

I HAVE A JOB

[Warded to his parents]

Mum, Dad, I have a real job. I was so excited that I didn't even ask how much it pays, but it's a real job, with time off for the full moon. And before you get suspicious, which I understand because I was suspicious too, the only reason Sirius Black offered me a job is that he's a werewolf too. He didn't say as much, but he said that he can't cover for me, because he has a previous commitment for every full moon. He might has well said that he is one. Anyway, I have a job.

It always surprises me how quiet the house seems once Nymphadora goes off to school. I'm wondering if my boys are somehow in a sulk because of this?

[Ted/Andy]

What say we organize something to keep Teddy's mind off the fact that Dora isn't here.

[Sirius/Andy/James]

Received a letter from said daughter already. Apparently there is a rather attractive Defense against the Dark Arts Teacher this year. I'm not sure if I should be warning Harry or Remus of this.

Who: James, Sirius
What: Bonding, talking about Regulus, working on the club
Where: Marauders Den
When: Around 10pm, Sept 2nd

( Read more... )

Here ye here ye! The Marauders Den, aka the greatest Nightclub known to Wizardkind, will be opening it's doors in just a few weeks! Which means I'll be looking for people to actually work there. So if you sling a mean drink, are big and/or tough enough to play bouncer, or just generally want to work at the coolest place on earth let me know and I'll see about, like, an interview or something equally as official sounding.

James and Remus
I'm bored. Someone save me from myself.

So much for my grand idea of working at Hogwarts.

Back to the drawing board.

Is anybody hiring?