Marauders!: An 80s AU

Dear Mr. Black,

I regret to inform you that the Ministry has been advised by the Sudanese Ministry of Magic of the disappearance of your wife, Ms. Clorinda Hopkirk. Ms. Hopkirk was last seen yesterday at four pm local time when she headed out to a nearby local Muggle village. Because of the local war, the search did not start until this morning.

Sudanese Ministry employees visited the village and found that all adult men living there had been killed. There are no traces of women and children. We were notified at noon of the events and have been assured that a search is being conducted. However, any search mission is slowed down by the war and the impact it has on the Muggle population, which causes the inhabitants of many villages to move around to seek safety.

We will continue to update you as soon as we are able.

Regards,
Barty Crouch, Sr.
Head
Department of International Magical Cooperation

Who: Clorinda and Sirius
What: Clorinda left things at Sirius' and goes to pick them up
Where: Marauders Den
When: 19 September, 1987
Rating: low

( I left clothes here )

The wedding party is off. Please don't bring any gifts. The club is still opening on the 22nd. I hope to see you all there.

[Narcissa]

Any and all public posts about your cousin will end, even if I won't be representing your family any longer.

[Andromeda and Regulus]

Thank you for your kind words, but it seems that they were a little premature.

[Leo]

Men suck and not in a good way.

I will never understand why people can't accept facts without putting a personal spin on things. Facts are nice and objective. If you focus on facts, you don't have problems.

It must be why I can understand history, but I don't get people. I like my facts too much.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for...





Saturday the 23rd, come party your arse off and drink the night away! Special guest artist Edgar Bones! Grab a portkey at the portable store front in Diagon Alley or apparate to 2576 Haversham rd in Brixton.

Friends and Family
Clorinda and I will be celebrating our marriage in tandem with the club opening. VIP section will br reserved for our use and the alcohol and food is on me! We hope to see you all there. And yes, if you can see this then I do in fact mean you!

Who: Clorinda and Sirius
What: Clorinda has questions about Sirius' behaviour the past day and a half
Where: Marauders Den
When: 13 September, 1987
Rating: low

( I'm trying to figure out the problem )

Potions potions potions potions potions potions and more potions.

I got a new job as a clerk at a potions shop. Yay!

What would happen if I take a Alihotsy Draught and a Calming Draught in rapid succession, would I first get hysterical and then calm down? Or would the two cancel one another out? What if I mixed the two?

Here's an idea! Pepperup in different flavors! Like, maybe mint and strawberry? Or bubblegum!

[Private to Mary MacDonald]

Rita Skeeter at it again, huh? Writing lies just to sell papers.

Oh no, my secret sorkret has been revealed! You've got me world. I'm a blood thirsty werewolf and all my decades of shennanigans are just to cover it up! HOW SHALL I EVER GO ON!

Okay, but seriously. If you believe a word that leaves Rita Skeeters poison quill you're an idiot and you deserve to be brainwashed by ber tripe. And for the record, if I was a werewolf I still wouldn't care. There is no shame in being a werewolf, they're just people like all the rest of us. Yeah, some of them are assholes, but Wizards aren't all sunshine and lolipops either. Voldemort anyone?

So, in conclusion, Rita Skeeter you can go fuck yourself.

*Added later*
By the way, great photo of me Skeets! I'm going to start selling signed copies of it, all proceeds go to Werewolf Rights. If anyone wants a pic let me know!

Clorinda
You okay?

Mary
She's such a bitch, eh?

Remus
I won't let this get back to you, I swear on my life.

( Daily Prophet )

General service announcement: I'd avoid Honeydukes for the foreseeable future. People are getting married after eating toffees! Then again, it could be another remarkable advertising campaign from Pink Floyd.

I don't get to see my family as much as I...maybe want to isn't the right word. As much as I would feel more comfortable with? After a while it just sort of slips my mind, I guess, and then that weird guilt shows up out of absolutely nowhere and I feel like if I don't panic, drop everything, and run I'm the worst kid ever. Which is silly, because I've grown up with some of you and I know what you're like. Not that I'm pointing fingers! But I might be. Anyway, that happened over the weekend and I wound up in the living room I used to do somersaults in yesterday and it was a somewhat enlightening experience. Their lives over the past two decades have hardly changed at all. I can remember almost every piece of furniture from my childhood and my mom handed me the same mug that she's been handing me since I was old enough to drink out of something other than a sippy cup. The routine of it all was nice at first, but in the end it left me feeling uncomfortable. They don't talk to me much about the things in my life they just don't get. They didn't talk to me much at all, really, but I've come to be okay with it. Anyway, while I was there I was offered some last remaining garden vegetables and all I can think to do is make soup out of them. I don't know if it'll be any good, but if you want to taste test for me I'll bring the entire shebang to the office tomorrow. [Ophelia] Anything I can do to help you in your newfound freedom?

So I got married!

It happened Saturday, or Sunday, depending on time zones. It was still Saturday here, but Sunday in Egypt where I got married.

Oh I forgot to mention I married Sirius Black. We met on Saturday, definitely on Saturday regardless of time zone.

It's exciting and adventurous and I never thought I'd get married, but this was the best way to do it: spontaneous, in a tomb and with great sex!

[OOC Added later] Threesomes are perfectly good valid gifts subject to our veto.

Ought to get one of those cards from St. Mungo's that gets stamped for every god damn time I'm admitted. Fill up the card, and get a free cup of coffee.

Who: Clorinda and Sirius
What: they discuss married life
Where: Marauders Den
When: 10 September, 1987
Rating: low

( We're married now )

( Warded to Leo and Caradoc )

( Warded to Family )

Who: Clorinda and Sirius
What: as much as it pains her to do it, she returns the priceless, oh em gee super amazing, ring
Where: Marauders Den
When: very late 9 September, 1987 after Kingsley leaves
Rating: low

( I can't believe you did that )

( The note says, May your poison well never run dry )

Very good news: I've got a new lead for a new artefact. I won't tell you what, because it's a surprise (and I don't want anyone else to get his/her hand on it)

Very bad news: Apparently there is a civil war in Sudan. Muggles have been killing each other and foreigners. I think my whiteness sort of lets them know I'm a foreigner. It's the reason why no one else is willing to go.

Good news: There's a war and I won't have competition

Bad news: I'll be gone from the 29th of September until the 9th of October. Don't break Britain while I'm gone.

Who: Florence & Clorinda
What: A chance meeting
Where: A coffee shop on Diagon Alley
When: 4 September, 1987
Rating: Low

( Read more... )

Centaurs may be the most cryptic of species, but damn do they know how to party.