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Tweak says, "READY YOUR LADLES!"

Joe Reaves (featheredwolf) wrote in 50episodes,
@ 2007-08-10 20:22:00

Current music:	Garth Brooks - Thicker Than Blood
Entry tags:	empire records, joereaves:from the ashes empire records, ncis

Surprised, PG, Empire Records/NCIS
Title Surprised
Characters Joe/Lucas
Rating PG
Prompt #48 Surprised (50 Episodes)
Summary Joe sees something he shouldn't. (See Reading Order for details of the universe.)
Universe From the Ashes

Joe found himself watching Lucas whenever he was sure he wasn't looking. He knew he'd hurt Lucas' feelings by making that stupid joke about Lucas being the 'woman' in the relationship. Not that they had a relationship or were likely to, but still, he couldn't take his eyes off him. Lucas wasn't helping matters by stripping down to a pair of barely there shorts and nothing else as he worked on one of the houses. Joe resolutely focussed back on his work and not Lucas. He was making a bed for one of the houses. Some of the survivors still had to share and so they had decided Joe should concentrate on his furniture making, with Gibbs' help when the others could spare him.

He ran the plane over the material again and again, letting his mind wander as his hands kept busy with the repetitive task. Unfortunately, his thoughts inevitably wandered back to Lucas and his suggestion that they have sex. Joe shivered slightly. He'd never even thought about having sex with another man, and not only because it would have meant the end of his career. Lucas was right in one sense - unless he wanted a meaningful relationship with his right hand, he would have to consider the idea - and he knew his reaction had been petty and mean. He sighed; he was going to have to find Lucas and apologise at some point. He liked the kid; he didn't mean to lash out at him, but he'd never had a man make a pass at him before and he'd freaked out, not that that was any excuse.

He yelled and dropped the plane as he cut his hand in his total distraction. "God dammit, that hurts," he cursed, watching as blood dripped from the side of his hand onto the grass. Pulling his shirt off, he wrapped it around the wound and went to look for Ducky.

He figured the doctor would be in the lab inside the underground part of the base and so he headed down there. Pushing the door open, he stopped dead in shock. Sean had his arms around Ducky and the two men were kissing. Joe was shocked. He had no idea that they were together. He'd had some suspicions about Ducky being gay but not Sean.

"I um," he squeaked. Clearing his throat he tried again. "Dr Mallard. I need some help." He looked away from the two men. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

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	featheredwolf 2007-08-11 03:24 pm UTC (link)
	The only trouble with that being fanfic writers tend to assume you know who they're talking about :D Obviously with it being AU and having changed some of the backgrounds I'm going to be showing a bit more about who they are that I would normally but still with it being all out of order you don't get the introduction you'd expect to a new character. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sagami 2007-08-11 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	XD True. Heaven knows how many times I've done it. I half-suspect it's because it's less boring. I mean, I normally turn off automatically when reading the "X had Y coloured hair and was Z m in height". Though I'm pretty sure there's a way of describing it tastefully. ~~I'm still trying to find the way. ^_~~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

featheredwolf
2007-08-11 07:29 pm UTC (link)

Well show not tell works better. Obviously if you're writing from character X's POV there is some description like that involved the first time they see character Y, especially if they don't know their name. But I hate the whole info dump introduction some people do.

It should flow naturally. For example the first time they meet Ducky it may be something like ...

Joe saw an older man in a tweed jacket and corduroy trousers walking along the side of the road. He pulled over to see if he wanted to join them.

The man turned towards them when he saw the truck coming and tipped his hat. "Well, hello gentlemen. I was beginning to think I was the only survivor left in this state. You're not from around here though." He put his hand through the window to shake Joe's. "My name is Dr. Mallard."

"With an accent like that you're not from around here either," Joe said with a smile. "Scotland?"

"Not for about thirty years now, young man," he said jovially. "I left when I graduated medical school."

etc

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sagami
2007-08-11 07:50 pm UTC (link)

That's true, though now that you mention it, I imagine it's the information overload that makes things terrible. I mean, I can imagine it being bad if the front bit had been extended to include a whole long list of adjectives to describe the jacket and trousers.

Or perhaps it's the lack of relevant detail?

I still remember a very bad fic (in my opinion, at any rate; most people said it was great) that spent two paragraphs describing a bottle of shampoo (that was irrelevant. -_-;)

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featheredwolf
2007-08-11 08:06 pm UTC (link)

Actually that's one of my problems with the Cadfael books. The author likes to describe everything in detail and IMO it bogs them down and makes them slow. Tell me enough to sketch the scene and let me use my imagination for the rest please! And if you must add description make it part of the narrative and also make it relevent.

If in the example I'd just told you Ducky had a Scottish accent and graduated from Edinburgh University with a medical degree it would have been boring.

I could tell you he has blue eyes, blond hair and his eyes crinkle when he smiles, but right now, that's not relevent. I could also tell you he has a tendency to ramble and can find an anecdote for any situation, but I won't (in the fic) I'll let you find that out yourself. A couple of his anecdotes and you'll figure out he likes to talk without me having to tell you.

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